depressed.as.fuck.

[lightningandsnow]

And I have to wait another month to get on a mood stabilizer because that's when I get to see a psychiatrist. My GP won't prescribe mood stabilizers.

I'm tempted to go back to my old dose of effexor. At least people like me when I'm hypomanic.

I have an exam in 3 days that I am probably going to fuck up whether I study or not.

Going home in 4 days. My mom gets pissed at me if I don't act happy enough around relatives.

I hate my life right about now.

FML. FML. FML.

[MrScorpio]

1. Thanks for being brave enough to reach out

You're not alone.

You can get through this... Please hang tough.

[cwydro]

2. I think this is the worst time of year

for anyone struggling with depression.

Hang in there and know you are not alone.

[Lorien]

5. It is indeed

January 2and can't get here fast enough so though of us who are battling this illness can relax from the work of "playing happy" for days on end.

[cwydro]

10. Lol,

I don't even play happy anymore.

[Swede]

3. Sounds tough.Hang on.

Please

[Mopar151]

4. Are you deciding between morgtage and heat?

That's depressing as fuck. Just like car payment or groceries. Study for your friggin' test anyway - you may surprise yourself. Family at the holidays? I got nothin' that does'nt involve drugs of some sort, herbs, hops, single malt or scrips. Thank the deity of choice that my family will be happy whth the used books they're getting for Christmas.

[Lorien]

6. Depression is an illness, like cancer, and it often kills the people

who suffer from it. Once brain chemistry gets unbalanced it doesn't take hardship to make a person want it all to end. There's a battle in their mind that you can't control. Imagine the absolute WORST you've ever felt in your life. Now imagine feeling that way 24/7, for months or even years on end, and nothing you do can stop you from feeling that way. That's what clinical depression is.

[Mopar151]

17. I've been in treatment for depression for 8 years

And hardship shure as s*&^ don't help. The meds do help - but you have to do your share of the heavy lifting.

[Lorien]

19. 28 years for me-until recently. Can't afford a damn thing

So I have to "do my share of the heavy lifting" a.k.a "pull myself up by my own bootstraps" because sure as hell no one anywhere will do a damn thing to help. It's the American way.

[lightningandsnow]

12. I'm sorry you're going through that, but...

I have bipolar disorder. That's not me being ungrateful or selfish. That's my brain chemistry being fucked up, and having to wait until mid-January for the proper meds.

[Mopar151]

18. I'm not calling you anything.

I have similar issues between my PCP and my ARNP psych. lady. Just some advice from someone who lives near where you do- you have to help yourself, too - it's part of the deal. And I'm avoiding some nitwit relatives myself this season. At Mom's instigation, we're doing homemade/regifted Christmas with the relatives we don't avoid this year.

[Lorien]

7. Avoid the effexor if you can. You know how hard it is to stop using it

once you start.

I know how you feel. I can't afford any medications now because of unemployment. I'm fighting the urge to do terribly self destructive things. Trying to "fake it' through the holidays is exhausting. I have two parties to attend and I'm expected to bring along the host's favorite dishes, but I have zero energy for cooking or faking holiday cheer. At least I have someplace to go this year. Usually I just stay at home and pretend that it's some other time of year since I don't have family. Sometimes that's easier, sometimes it's harder. I really wish that we did have universal single payer with mental health benefits so I could get treatment, but unless I move overseas I'll probably never see any (and with no money moving isn't an option).

Hang in there. I know it hell, but try to hold on to the knowledge that you WILL get that mood stabilizer eventually, and that should help once you have it.

:hug:

[SoxFan]

14. Let the psychiatrist make that call

The discontinuation effects are a bitch, but it's also a very, very effective medication for people with severe depression.

Trust me on this.

[lightningandsnow]

15. I have bipolar, and the original dose made me manic....

For the winter break, I didn't want to go off it altogether because I didn't want to become depressed over the holidays. So, I'm on the tiniest dose ever (37.5 mg), and have gone back to being fucking depressed. The universe is a bitch. Ha.

[Lorien]

16. Yep, they'll only find something negative to comment on

which makes it even more depressing. Gotta get off this board.

[m3e92man8850]

8. sounds awful

[Danger Mouse]

9. Hang in there. The holidays suck...but you'll get through it.

[Jamastiene]

11. I don't have any advice.

All I got is :hug:

[SoxFan]

13. Check your inbox

Been there, bought the t-shirt.

[applegrove]

20. Hang in there. It will all be resolved with the new meds. Sometimes it seems like forever but it is

not. You'll be busy with the holidays in no time. And study for your exam. I once was depressed and studying for a chemistry exam at concordia. I couldn't gage how I was studying and wondered if I could retain anything at all. It tured out I did well. I simply couldn't judge my own study habits and retention at the time. So give the exam a good 3 days of study and I'm sure you'll do fine.

[pitohui]

21. hey i'm sorry, don't know what to say

it's such a beautiful time of the yr w. all the lights which is not helpful if you're blue, i know

don't decide in advance you'll fuck up the exam, actually i think "positive negativity" helped me do great on exams, as being confident i would fuck up always led me to over prepare and do v. well -- maybe you can do the same?

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

22. *hugs* I hear all that. I would slip you some of mine but there's no telling whether

or not they are right for you. :(