Bitter feminine age. You

[crim son]

with your weak, testosterone induced emotions; your pale fantasies and white-bled passions. You who think memory of vaginal scent is love, who feels the pressure of breasts and imagines eons, you thin, sad and lacking example of human presence, dare you tell me how I might dream? Your woman is a semen-drenched phantasm who never diapered a child; your woman's breasts have never swelled to an infant's lips and your woman will think of nothing but your penis every time she hears the word swollen, or pulsing, or engorged. You, you... there is no word. Why must we be burdened not only with child, but with you?

I want to scream but how you plug your ears. You suit yourselves; you find yourselves in women of a certain sort and I wish you happiness.

Where is the male spirit of good heart and wise learning and hard body who can bear to love the lines around my eyes?

[suzbaby]

1. I enjoyed reading that.

Thanks.

[Aristus]

2. That was pure poetry, crimmy.

And not a little erotic, too. I don't know if you meant it to be, but it is...

[Ptah]

3. Oy vey carumba!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear crim son!

THAT was perfect, and I think any male who this was addressed to should slink away from you, never to be seen again.

I especially love this line:

Where is the male spirit of good heart and wise learning and hard body who can bear to love the lines around my eyes?

He has to be out there, and looking for you...

:hug:

[Capn Sunshine]

5. wow. Dude

that gets me hot

[arcadian]

6. Any rant that uses the phrase 'semen-drenched' is A-Okay in my book.

:thumbsup:

[petronius]

7. So does this mean we're not gonna do it?

:shrug:

[FedUpWithIt All]

8. crim son, do you love the lines around your eyes?

This first and the rest will follow. You are a beautiful, dynamic woman. Believe this and that you deserve better than you have already known. It will happen.

Really, love to you woman.

:pals:

[KG]

9. FL

[denem]

10. Beautiful. I love the lines around my wifes eyes.

We married late in life, I see in her lines, her strength, her pain, the woman I love.

[unpossibles]

11. Well written

I can both relate to you, and sadly just a little to the person whom is the target of this, although I have no problems with lines around eyes or any other elements of aging, personally. The part of me which identifies is the part which has inextricable links from scent to memory. The part of me which does not relate is that I am a man who does not seek a surrogate mother, an apparently common affliction.

I really liked your writing style of this.

EDIT:
fwiw, I am dealing with a woman who runs away from commitment whenever she starts to get serious. I love her, and even love her enough to let her go or to be friends, although I am also trying to balance that with being passionate enough to fight for it. It's not an easy balancing act. But it's also one that happens because I tend to be attracted to independent-minded people. Good luck and Happy Solstice!

[MissMillie]

12. You lost me at hard body

but I get it.

Not much point, however, in railing against their unrealistic fantasies, if we can't let go of our own.

[crim son]

13. You missed my apology, MissMillie.

It's drunken crap and I know it.

[redqueen]

14. No, it really isn't.

It's quite good.

[Chan790]

15. I agree.

Honestly, get it formatted and send it off to a poetry journal. If you need help finding one that will take unsolicited erotic work (which you shouldn't...that would be around 50% of all non-university-affiliated journals) ask your local librarian or check out a copy of the Poet's Market...or if you still need help, come back here and ask me.

Truly, it's really quite good. I wouldn't lie about that.

[MissMillie]

16. I think it's good too!

And I don't think crim needs to apologize at all.

I guess I just wanted to throw in there that the lines around my eyes are not all that different from the spare tire around a man's belly.

And I'm sorry if that offends anyone...

[Schema Thing]

18. that was my thought exactly

but yeah, this was good writing.

[redqueen]

19. Yeah I see your point...

but it's a small flaw considering it was written when drunk.

Mmmm... heh, now I'm thinking about a certain someone's spare tire. :P

[denem]

21. Mae West "A hard man is good to find"

And Mae never let up till her dying day.

[redqueen]

22. I didn't think she meant the whole body there, though.

Or maybe she did, and it's just my dirty mind being what it is again...

[MissMillie]

27. agreed... very small flaw... it's a great sentiment and it was

articulated VERY well.

[Rising Phoenix]

17. damn girl

where have you been hiding this passion! Loves it!

[denem]

20. "Why must we be burdened not only with child, but with you?" is one for the ages.

All ages.

[Flaxbee]

23. wow, crim son. I think I love you. That, whether written while drunk or not,

is exceptionally well-expressed.

[branders seine]

24. work on it.

it's a poem.

[old mark]

25. So, do you come here often? nt

[ceile]

26. Love it!

Drunk or sober. ;)

[cwydro]

28. Yeah baby!

THAT'S what I am TALKIN' about!

You go girl. Of course, I might change some pronouns, but damn woman...you got it...

[TK421]

29. This was the hottest piece I think I've ever read on DU

:loveya:

[supernova]

30. Crim son, I took the liberty of reformatting this as poetry

It was such a great rant, and being the literary sort I couldn't resist. Forgive me. :D

See what you think:

You!

With your weak, testosterone induced emotions;
Your pale fantasies and white-bled passions.
You who think memory of vaginal scent is love,
Who feels the pressure of breasts and imagines eons,

You thin, sad and lacking example of human presence!
Dare you tell me how I might dream?

Your woman is a semen-drenched phantasm who never diapered a child;
Your woman's breasts have never swelled to an infant's lips and
Your woman will think of nothing but your penis every time she hears the words swollen, or pulsing, or engorged.

You, you...
There is no word!

Why must we be burdened not only with child, but with you?
I want to scream!
But how you plug your ears.

You suit yourselves;
You find yourselves in women of a certain sort and I wish you happiness.

Where is the male spirit of good heart and wise learning and hard body
Who can bear to love the lines around my eyes?