Listen, why don't you do something constructive instead of sitting here hitting "refresh" all day?

[LeftyFingerPop]

Don't your toilets need cleaning? I bet they do. Go clean them.

Have you done all your dusting?

Spent some quality time with the kids? No? Why not?


Best Wishes,
Captain Guilt

[Pharlo]

1. Well,

The toilets are self cleaning.
The dogs are responsible for the dusting - why else would they have tails?
And, since I have no kids, quality time spent with them is moot.

Besides, sitting here hitting the 'refresh' button all day is an intensive index finger workout. Much cheaper than the Pilates version.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. I have my butler hit my refresh button for me.

Furthermore, I got tired of telling my butler "refresh" everytime, so I fired him, and hired a butler who is capable of anticipating when I want to refresh the screen.

Sincerely,
Captain Stinkinrich

[Call Me Wesley]

3. Sorry, old mod habit.

Toilets are clean. :check:
Dust is clean as well. :check:
Kids? Kids? Darn ... Haven't seen them since ... , oh my! Thanks for reminding me! That is, I can't believe it, they, no, it can't be. I saw them last, oh my oh my! And I wondered why they're still gifts unopened here since, yes, since ... oh my!

Sandëë! Buhbbë! Dinner leftovers are ready!

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. They are here safe, with me.

They are nice kids. We are going to the movies tonight.

Yours Truly,
Captain Fosterparent

[Call Me Wesley]

5. I'm relieved, thank you so much.

You're not offering them candy, aren't you? They don't get it, they get biological carrots.

You know they're both trained Ninjas since they were toddlers? They laugh at the 'Vulcan nerve pinch,' because it leaves the victims alive.

Respectfully submitted,
Colonel Obi Wasabi Shinobi

[azmouse]

6. Toilets?

We just have a hole in the backyard with a board for a seat. No cleaning necessary but I really do wish the neighbors would shut up about the smell.

The dust is an inch thick. Is that enough?

[astral]

7. I can't until the Sunday LOL'Cats Come Up

I can not go to bed til I get my LOL'Cats. I know, I know, it's still SATURDAY, but for some of you it's clearly SUNDAY.

Besides, I do my spring cleaning in the SPRING . . . .

Cat does wish I would dust, tho'!

[Tobin S.]

8. About three more hours

So put some Ben-Gay on your refresh finger and make another pot of coffee. I know about these things. :) I'll try to post something witty in the mean time to help you keep your mind off the clock.

[rcrush]

9. I gave god-like powers to Jim Carrey once.

Not the best idea. He brought the moon closer to earth for no damned reason at all.