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Did you ever divorce and then remarry the same person, or did someone close to you do that?

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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 01:51 PM
Original message
Did you ever divorce and then remarry the same person, or did someone close to you do that?

If so, why'd you/they do that? :shrug:
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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 02:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. My ex's parents did, back in the 70s/early 80s.
It turned out very well for them - they're snug as a bug in a rug now.

I think it was a sort of mid-life crisis thing, feeling trapped, having affairs, etc. Then after living apart for several years, they just realized it was the breakup that was the mistake, not the marriage. They tried other people and singlehood, and that's what it took for them to really understand that they wanted to be with each other after all.

Rare, but it happens. My ex and his sister *really lived* the fantasy that kids of divorced parents often have, that they'll get back together and be happy!
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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 03:55 AM
Response to Reply #1
14. I also want to add on to this
That my ex and I lived together for six years, he broke up with me three years ago, we have our own apartments and seem to enjoy them (I know I do), we've both been through relationships with other partners since, and yet he still calls me or texts me every other frakkin' day, and when we talk, I realize yet again he is still my best friend.

That's how people are. They unconsciously recreate their parents' relationships.

(Or so they say. My parents got married in 1968, at ages 19 and 24, and are still together. I envy their relationship but it's obviously not an option for me--I'm now old enough to be the parent of both of them at the time.)
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LibertyLover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
2. My supervisor at my first job
She and her ex remarried and then moved to France to open a B & B.
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wickerwoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
3. I know some couples that divorced
but stayed living in the same house (for decades) for financial reasons/the kids, etc.
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brendan120678 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
4. Before I was born, my grandmother...
married her second husband (my grandfather had died a couple of years prior). They divorced a few years later. Then they got remarried again a few years after that. Then they divorced again. Then he died, so I think that ugly cycle is over.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 03:03 PM
Response to Original message
5. My aunt did.
She decided that she could live with his faults after all. They stayed married until he died- unfortunately he was fairly young. She misses him a great deal.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
6. i could see it. the grass isnt necessarily greener on the other side. nt
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Brickbat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 03:09 PM
Response to Original message
7. My aunt did, and then she divorced him again.
I think it was just a symptom of someone being very young, inexperienced and clueless.
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bikebloke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
8. I dated a woman who had.
I asked her why and she just shrugged. Being a freak magnet, she was one of the loonie tunes I attracted. Luckily, I didn't date her for long.
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theNotoriousP.I.G. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
9. My grandparents remarried after 28 years
of being divorced. They hadn't talked to each other in that whole time. They shouldn't have remarried but my grandfather took good care of my grandmother until he died.

My aunt has been married 8 times. She married one guy twice.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 11:44 AM
Response to Reply #9
17. is your aunt liz taylor?
:loveya:
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av8rdave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
10. My cousin did that...
Married 9 years, divorced 2, then remarried for another 9 years. Unfortunately, his wife passed away suddenly, but I think they would have remained together permanently.

They were married really young, and had some growing issues to work through. They both said the remarriage was the second best thing they ever did, right behind the divorce.
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RebelOne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
11. My father married his 4th wife again.
In all, he was married 5 times. My mother was his 2nd wife. And I don't know why he remarried his 4th wife.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 03:49 PM
Response to Original message
12. I know someone who did,
much to the amazement of everyone who followed their soap opera.
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-07-10 04:39 PM
Response to Original message
13. My parents did that.
I was my dad's best man at their re-wedding.

They had problems for a long time. They divorced for about two years, my dad cleaned himself up and won back my mother's affections and they have been together ever since.
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 04:26 AM
Response to Reply #13
16. Nice story. I love happy endings... :-)
Years ago, I was at the wedding reception of a young woman whose parents had an affair while he was still married to someone else. He remained married, she had their daughter, and they went their separate ways. After their daughter was grown and his wife had passed away, they found each other again, and were together at their daughter's wedding. :-)
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #16
24. I have a soft spot for "once again" stories.
People who together once or loved each other when they were young, then finding each other later in life.

If my parents taught me anything, it's that happy ending are never off the table. :-)
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-09-10 12:28 AM
Response to Reply #24
28. Me, too. I'm one who believes that where there's life, there's always hope...
And your parents are a perfect example. I love stories like that. :loveya::hi:
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 04:00 AM
Response to Original message
15. my dad did that
his second and third marriages were to the same woman. Neither time lasted long. He's on his fifth marriage (one ended due to his wife's death). Last time we talked about gay marriage, he said he thought it might hurt the sanctity of marriage. Oy vey.
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Silver Swan Donating Member (805 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
18. I know a man
Who not only remarried his first wife, he also remarried his second wife.

His marital history was wife one, divorce, wife two, divorce, wife one again, divorce, wife two again, divorce.

Then he married me.
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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
19. My mother did it with her second husband.
Edited on Fri Jan-08-10 01:55 PM by Xithras
Met him and married him after divorcing my dad. He had an affair about a year later and she divorced him. After another year her anger had cooled and they became friendly again. "Friendly" developed into something more and she fell for him. A couple months later, they were married.

It turned out to be a pretty bad decision, because he was an abusive pedophile. Neither the abuse nor his predeliction for little kids had time to really come to the surface during the first marriage, but the second left a long list of victims. By the time the second marriage ended, the family was regretting the day she'd met him.

My mother said later that she'd picked up on some "weird vibes" from him during their first marriage, but had ignored them. She blamed herself for the abuse...which was OK with her kids, because we all blame her too. For this, and many other reasons, she will die a lonely old lady with no family around her.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #19
22. Oh, man! :^( I am so sorry.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. .
Edited on Fri Jan-08-10 11:14 PM by seabeyond
what a powerful story.

i admire and respect so the way you told it.

:hug:
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
20. i broke up with my ex after being with him for 18 months
we spent the summer ignoring each other and we got back together again and stayed together for another 13 years until we broke up for good.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
21. A school friend of mine had that happen with her parents.
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AwakeAtLast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 03:47 PM
Response to Original message
23. My Aunt and Uncle
They divorced for about a month. He is the kind of person who cannot or will not do anything for himself domestically. She was gone for a month and he was crawling to her on his hands and knees.

They remarried. She got pregnant at 43. My cousin is now 27. She was an aunt the day she was born. :)
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david13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 11:17 PM
Response to Original message
26. It is a somewhat common occurrence. dc
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From The Ashes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-08-10 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
27. My husband wants me back...
...He tells me so every time I'm unlucky enough to pick up the phone when he's drunk dialing. :eyes:

Interesting sensation, to say the least.
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beyurslf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-09-10 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
29. I have a friend at work who has been married and divorced 3 times, all to the same man.
They now live together and are not married. She said that piece of paper screws things up.

I also have an aunt who has been married either 8 or 9 times. Two of her ex husbands she married twice. One of them she re-married less than 6 months after their divorce was final!
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WCIL Donating Member (265 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-09-10 01:40 AM
Response to Original message
30. My coworker has been married 5 times
He is married to his current wife for the 3rd time. The first time they ended it because she wanted a child and he had had a vasectomy. I don't remember why he said they divorced the second time. They have been married this time for over 10 years.
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-09-10 03:01 AM
Response to Original message
31. My Dad once left my stepmother - no divorce - for two months.
Actually he did it twice.

Once he stayed with me and my house mate at the time, and another time he stayed with me and my girlfriend - who would later become my wife.

They loved each other very much, my father and my stepmother, but they sometimes would have these blow ups.

The last time my father stayed with me and my future wife, we took him to Broadway to see La Cage Aux Folles, which was great fun because my old man, as much as I loved him, was something of a homophobe. Actually he really enjoyed it.

In the weeks he stayed with us, he really grew to know and love my wife, and she to love him.

So it was OK.

He went back to my stepmother, who stayed with him until he died. Some years after his death she said to me, "I hope I loved him enough," which I think is the most beautiful thing one can say about a marriage.

I hope I love my wife enough.
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