Q: What happened whan the skinny butcher backed into the meat grinder?

[eyepaddle]

A: He got a little behind in his work. :P

Post 'em if you got 'em.

[BOSSHOG]

1. A Man went to his favorite restaurant Christmas morning

and ordered Eggs Benedict. The waiter arrived with his order on a Hubcap. The man said, what't this. The waiter said, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

Two Nuns got in a carwreck. The mechanic sent them to a fruit stand because he heard Nuns traveled in "Pairs."

[eyepaddle]

2. What happens when a doctor loses his temper?

He runs out of patients.

[BOSSHOG]

3. Guess what I "heard?"

Sheep

[madinmaryland]

7. Hey Boss! You're alive!

Congrat's on your team winning last weekend!

[BOSSHOG]

9. Thanks

Its gonna be a big three weeks in NOLA win or lose.

[Parche]

17. HEY BOSS

:hi: :patriot:

good ones!!!

[mikeytherat]

4. A butcher had always been sexually fascinated with the meat grinder.

So he told a friend, "Today was the day - I finally put my c**k in the meat grinder." The friend was horrified and asked, "Are you all right? What happened to you?" The man replied, "I'm fine. But I did get fired." Out of curiosity, the friend asked, "Well, what happened to the meat grinder?" The man replied, "She got fired, too."

mikey_the_rat

[eyepaddle]

5. Nice!

I remember that one as being about "The Pickle Slicer" but it's funny no matter how you spell it! :)

[cyberswede]

6. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger...

...then it hit me.

[BOSSHOG]

8. There is a T-Shirt

in the French Quarter like that only its the Frisbee getting bigger.

[Richardo]

10. I sat on a hill all night wondering where the sun went after it set...

...finally it dawned on me.

[cyberswede]

11. Someone reported a hole in the fence at the nudist camp...

...the police are looking into it.

[Dr. Strange]

12. Someone stole the plumbing from City Hall.

Police have nothing to go on.

[Roon]

14. Did you hear about the corduroy pillow cases?

They are making headlines!!

[Roon]

13. Why did the valley girl take two birth control pills?

to be, fer shure fer shure...

[WinkyDink]

16. I heard the Irish variation: Why did the Irishman wear 3 condoms?

To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!

[Roon]

26. LOL!

Too funny.

[old mark]

15. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat miner.




mark

[KamaAina]

18. Did you hear about the junior high teacher who got detained at the airport?

She had with her a protractor, compass, and slide rule.

Homeland Security immediately booked her for possession of weapons of math instruction. :P

[rrneck]

19. There was once

a village that was terrorized by a ogre in a nearby castle. The castle had a moat and in the moat were the dreaded yellow fingers. Every knight the village sent to slay the giant got drug into the moat by the horrible yellow fingers of death.

One day a lowly page summoned up the courage to announce that he would go and slay the ogre. He picked up his rusty sword and walked out of the village expected by everyone never to be seen again. He approached the castle, swallowed hard, started across the bridge and lo!, he walked right through the yellow fingers and killed the killed.

The moral of the story. Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.

[trof]

20. What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?

Dough nuts.
:rofl:

[Gold Metal Flake]

21. If I could I would so R this thread.

[Demoiselle]

22. A caravan of Turkish princes was crossing the desert, when

they were attacked by a herd of carnivorous sheep.
Because the Turkish princes were also whirling dervishes, they all began to spin, fervently praying for salvation as they danced.
One by one, the men fell and were gobbled up by their attackers, until finally only one spinning man was left, confronted by a trio of very young sheep.
Finally, he fell to the ground, exhausted.
Immediately, the young sheep in the middle of the trio pounced on him and ate him up.
At which point his two companions turned to him and said, "Middle lamb, you've had a dizzy Bey!"

[kwassa]

23. What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass you can cry over.

[Ivan Sputnik]

24. What do you call time wasted on Facebook?

Social notworking.

[av8rdave]

25. What happened when the woman backed into the meat grinder?

Disaster

[Javaman]

27. A: his boss was going to chew him out, but thought better of it. nt

[Bucky]

28. A research firm poled 100 men between the ages of 25 and 54 and all of them said....

"ouch"