How do people date, even marry, Republicans if they are Liberal?

[Haole Girl]

I am asking this so I'll understand. Because, to me, if you love someone
you love them as a whole. You take the whole package. Everything.

I'd really like this explained to me. And I'm asking sincerely.

Please don't flame me. I get that, already, in GD.

[muffin1]

1. This has always mystified me, too.

Someone in the lounge is having an issue with her BF over this. Some of the replies are so mature (focus on the things you agree on, he sounds like a nice guy, etc). I just cannot fathom such a relationship. I barely get along with my fundie father. We talk about the most banal things - the weather, TV shows - it's difficult to not let loose when it's been a bad day for liberals. We got into a HUGH fight the day Ted Kennedy died. *sigh*

[Cant trust em]

2. What is this "liberal republican" you speak of? nt

[suninvited]

5. I think the OP meant

how does a liberal marry a republican

[Cant trust em]

6. Bingo. nt

[Haole Girl]

12. Yes, suninvited

I have to run now. I really hope this doesn't turn into a flamefest while I'm gone.

And, for the record, I'm not just thinking of one or two people. There are dozens of people I've known in my life who married Republicans... event though they were/are Liberals.

Gotta run... :hi:

[bigwillq]

3. Don't know

I have never been in that position. I have always dated people that were open-mided, liberal or at least liberal-leaning.

[Cant trust em]

4. My quick answer is that the "whole package" doesn't exist.

No one is perfect. My girlfriend (soon to be fiancee) does somethings that drive me a little nuts. If I was waiting for someone who was perfect, I'd be spending my life alone. So I suppose that it depends on how right wing the person was and to what degree that person's spouse was willing to put up with it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i think a lot of people dont prioritize politics. i do but i know others who dont

[TZ]

8. Because someone's politics has very little to do with overall personality traits

Most of the women in my family are liberals and many of them are married to CONSERVATIVE Republicans. I'm also friends with a few people who don't share any of my political beliefs. People are much more than that IMO. Consider that I'm an atheist biologist and one of my mothers friends that I've always liked is a fundamentalist born again christian who even speaks in tounges!! But she's a good person. We've even travelled together (the three of us went to a Shakespeare festival in Canada on my 21st birthday).
Do I argue politics with them. Sometimes, and it can get heated. But there is lots more to life than just politics.

[Duer 157099]

9. I think it's much easier to have religious differences than political ones

To me, someone's political orientation isn't just an ideological stance, it has actual real-world implications because they are voters (and if they don't vote, that's in itself a vote) and they help to decide very real things that affect peoples lives, liberty and happiness. There's a direct connection in my mind.

With religion, it can easily stay within the confines of an ideological disagreement. The worst they can do is pray for you and worry that you'll go to hell. Me, that doesn't bother me at all. But someone I know who actively votes to screw with my life, that bothers me. A lot.

[WildEyedLiberal]

10. It's hard to remember in the echo chamber of DU but not all repubs are cut from the same cloth

No snark intended, by the way, in my post headline - I just think that in a place like this, surrounded by like-minded people talking about the idiot Repukes in Congress and on Free Republic, we forget that not everyone who identifies as "conservative" is a flaming idiot racist hatemongering moron.

When I think about how much I hate conservative policies, it seems impossible that I could ever be civil to a Republican - and yet I am, because not all of my friends are liberal or Democrats. I obviously disagree with a lot of what these folks say, but we either avoid the topic of politics altogether or keep any debate friendly and civil. Also, most people don't live and breathe politics the way people on DU do, so even if someone is a "Republican," it doesn't mean they're out at teabagger rallies. Most people are fairly casual about their politics.

I have a friend who is actually an intern for a local Republican group, and while we disagree on a LOT, he's more of a libertarian Republican - a BIG Ron Paul supporter back in 08. I don't like Ron Paul, either, but I also recognize that not everyone in this country agrees with me, and I'd frankly prefer to see libertarian-style Republicans as an opposition party than the current theocratic neocon nightmares, so I support his efforts to oppose those factions within the party.

Long story short, someone being a Republican doesn't mean they're a rabid Sarah Palin mouthpiece. But, everyone has their deal-breakers, and I understand if voting Republican is someone's deal-breaker. But the absolute biggest fucking asshole I ever dated was a big "progressive" activist, so I know that "good" politics in no way ensures that someone is a decent, kind person. Kindness and decency come before everything - politics included.

[Odin2005]

40. I have a co-worker who is a Republican and is a very nice guy.

We love to give each other a bad time when it comes to politics, but it's always in good fun (when I said the "anti-choicers only care about life before the kid is born" line he burst out laughing! :rofl: ). He is a very kind and charitable person and his second job is being a caregiver for disabled people, a job he loves.

[Bertha Venation]

11. My liberal sister has been married to my conservative BIL for almost 30 years.

When they met they were both conservative.

Their marriage is fine.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

13. Hi

:hi:

If I may be presumptuous I think you guys are talking about me.

Yeah, I lit into my BF last week and almost lost him because I said some really cruel things.

The fact of the matter is: he is really good to me. I've been with some real losers from the archetypical misogynist jock to a layabout that lived in my apartment for 6 months before I threw him out lest my roommate throw me out.

He's a good guy and I want to make him happy and I know he tries to make me happy. So what if our politics get back-burnered while we're in the same room. I'm still allowed to be me.

He accepts me, why can't I accept him?

[eppur_se_muova]

14. Maybe they're looking at a different "package".

:evilgrin:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

15. I have no clue either.

It literally mystifies me. I suppose a paleocon would be one thing, but neocons hell no. Even a paleocon would be bizarre.

[KamaAina]

16. Ask my Mom

the damnedest thing is, Republican Stepdad treats her like a queen. He even seems to tolerate me! He keeps the horns filed down nice and smooth, and the tail tucked in, and everything. :P

[Bennyboy]

17. The BIG DEAL Breaker for me.....

that and kids in the home.

[Forkboy]

18. That's one I can't ever figure out.

Being liberal is such a crucial part of who I am that I can't imagine even getting along with someone who didn't share a good portion of those values, at least on a solid enough basis for a relationship. Hell, I can barely tolerate people I agree with! :)

[latebloomer]

21. I feel the same way

For me, it's a matter of values. I can't imagine being with someone who didn't share mine. It's a shared view of the world. And politics is so much a part of my everyday life- I'm always thinking, talking and reacting to what's going on in the world- I wouldn't be able to avoid certain subjects. I guess it would work better for people who weren't quite as focused on these matters.

[Forkboy]

23. It's a non-starter for me.

There are some things I can't look past. Leaving the cap off the toothpaste? No problem. Against gay marriage? Fuck you! ;)

I'm always thinking

That rules out any relationship you might ever have with a Republican. :)

[demmiblue]

19. Well, it helps if one is aware of real life happenings.

People that have no idea what is going on in the world are, to me, neither liberal or conservative. They are simply unaware. For example, there was a person who posted an OP in GD praising Sandra Day O'Connor. This person had absolutely no clue as to her role in the 2000 election. Very strange that this would happen on a political board; sometimes ignorance is bliss!

[Haole Girl]

20. I'd rather be ignorant of something

than be an asshole.

[we can do it]

22. Could Not Do It Sorry No Way

basic principles are a part of the person, period.

[Pryderi]

24. thank god my 1st wife, may she rest in peace, had the patience to convert me from being

a Republican.

[seabeyond]

25. the repug we hear is not the majority. a lot of repugs are not the cartoon figure we get

of the repug on tv.....

my hubby is a texan. hunter. his dad worked in oil as a geologist. everything was about geared to repug. conservative fiscally, traditional and catholic. the catholic is out there for texas.

he also loves regea and blues. smoked pot. accepts people as they are more than anyone i have met. is not misogynist. respects women. has two gay brothers and loves them dearly. honest. doesnt like to fight and altruistic with me. funny. committed. (he also voted kerry and obama cause of the repug behavior last decade)

most people dont fit into a neat little box we like to make of them. and a piece of them is not all that they are.

he is a good person

my father is a lifetime repug and i could list a ton why i love him and what makes him a good man (he voted for obama cause he has not respected how repugs have behaved last handful of years)

[noamnety]

26. We were married for 5 years before I got the nerve to ask.

I was afraid to ask before that - so I didn't. We both worked on the same projects on an army post, so we spent a lot of time together, but we never asked about the specific labels. We were married in 95, in 2000 we went and voted. We came home, sat down for dinner in silence. Finally I asked so who did you vote for? He was a Missouri synod lutheran. Not just the raised-lutheran kind, but the kind that went and found himself a church after he moved out on his own and went every sunday as a single guy ... so I expected the worst. :)

[LeftyMom]

27. Beats me.

But I won't even date people who eat cheese.

[MicaelS]

28. Because there is more to life than politics,

As shocking as that sounds. Because there are plenty of people who do not live, eat, sleep, breath and dream about politics. Many people have other foci in their lives, and politics only enters into their lives on a peripheral level. The fact is that politically "aware" people can often be perceived as obsessed or humorless by those around them.

[Arugula Latte]

29. It's not just "politics."

It's a worldview. A political label is illustrative of your basic ideas/philosophy about life, people, nations, power, women's roles, etc.

I would never, ever respect someone who thought the Republican viewpoint fit his viewpoint. I could never be in a healthy relationship with someone whose outlook I have no respect for.

[MicaelS]

30. No respect, eh?

So if you had a serious medical condition, and the only doctor in your area that could treat you was a Republican, you wouldn't respect them? The same question applies to a lawyer, or any other Professional who was a Republican.

[Haole Girl]

31. *sigh*

This was on page 2.

aaaargh.

The threads I want to die, never die. :cry:

[Arugula Latte]

32. That's silly. That's so completely different than being in a serious personal relationship

day in and day out.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

33. I dated a few conservative women, as long as they were not jesus freaks it didn't bother me

not everything in life has to be political,

[guitar man]

34. My wife was a registered repub

When we got married. I think mostly because of the fundie family she came from. Once I was able to thoroughly explain Reganomics to her that was all over, she switched to Dem and never looked back. I was a registered independent for a long time but have always been progressive. Her family thinks I'm the anti Christ :evilgrin:

I think the answer to your question may be in part "because he/she is hot!"

:P

[Generic Brad]

35. Sexual attraction is the reason

But looks fade over time and the lust young couples once felt for each other subsides. Every conservative/liberal marriage among my friends I witnessed as a young man has resulted in divorce. Once the bloom is off the rose, you had better have something else in common if you want the relationship to continue. What doesn't matter when you are young changes a hell of a lot when you become older.

[seabeyond]

36. the repug that marries a liberal is more open and accepting of another than say.....

some posters on this thread, lol. at the very least.

stating the obvious that seems to not be so obvious.

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

37. Claire's Republican boyfriend on Six Feet Under

turned out to be one of the most decent people on the show. I guess it depends on how much you let your politics rule your life.

Like people here keep pointing out to me, most people occupy some happy middle with lots of overlap.

[Odin2005]

38. Because most people can see the whole person, not petty political stereotypes.

I know lots of couples, usually the guy is the Republican and the woman is the Democrat, though I know one couple that is the opposite (the guy is a Democrat and a teacher, the woman is a Republican and an online business school instructor).

Christ, I can't believe people can be so obsessed about politics that they would not even contemplate marrying someone of a different political persuasion. Most Republicans are not knuckle-dragging troglodytes.

[caitxrawks]

39. my parents were political opposites.

They divorced when I was 5, after almost 15 years of marriage. They would have been married 33 years this year.

My mom was a staunch conservative Christian.

My dad was a staunch liberal agnostic.

Now my mom is a little more liberal, but is still a total Christian bigot. My dad is more of a deist, and he's a little more conservative.

Funny ol' world, ittin it?

[unpossibles]

41. I could not do it, personally

in fact, there have been a couple of times I've been attracted to someone until I found out there were Republicans, and it always has been a turn off to the point of being a deal-breaker. I have some friends who are Republicans and Libertarians, but I doubt I could date one.

[Chan790]

42. It's never bothered me in the least...

I concede that is likely because I'm a funny-shaped peg that doesn't fit into any hole properly...I'm more Socialist than anything, but it's not a modern neo-socialism in any way, shape or form. There is a photograph of James Connelly on my desk and it'd be fair to call me a militarist thusly. Also, one of Leon Trotsky...you can read into that anything you'd like. Same with the one of Dorothy Day.

My point is that I agree with GOPers a lot...especially on military, defense and homeland security issues. So it's a shorter walk for me.

[dustbunnie]

43. Opposites attract. The fights are bad but the make up sex can be good.

As others have said, many people vote one way or another but otherwise politics holds no real interest for them. My job brings me into contact with a lot of libertarians and repubs so I've gone out with a few of the none-religious, business types. Over the short term it's pretty easy to avoid political strife. And besides, there is always that make up sex.

I finally dug my love fangs into an apathetic, sort-a republican and have slowly brought him over to the good side. That's why it's important to mingle. Sometimes the love of a good woman (or man) can bring out another's inner dem.