I've just realized I've gone over one thousand pounds.

[UTUSN]

[NYC_SKP]

1. That's OK. Maybe you're very tall. Is that with your shoes on or off?

It's about proportion, not weight.

[UTUSN]

2. i *wish* i were PROPORTIONATE !1 n/t

[petronius]

3. How much is that in dollars?

:shrug:

[kayakjohnny]

4. Hopefully, who ever you pounded is quite satisfied by now.

I mean, hopefully this was over a period of a few years. No?

[Blue_Tires]

5. You're in BIG trouble with the local Fish and Wildlife Department...

[MiddleFingerMom]

6. If you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind. ... n/t

[rcrush]

8. Who said that?

[MiddleFingerMom]

9. Dad: If you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind.

.
Son: Thanks, Dad... but I'm over here.
.

[kentauros]

7. Get some spandex with "1/2 TON" on the front

and be this guy's sidekick:

[MiddleFingerMom]

10. 16 ton and waddya get?

.
32 o' me and deeper in debt.
.

[kentauros]

11. I don't know the reference.

Perhaps I need to "Read a book!" :P

The Human Ton is an inarticulate blob who uses brute force to back up The Terror. Handy the puppet, though, seems to be educated and well-informed; ironically enough. Handy is probably the most entertaining character in the league of evil, and he isn't too bad a villain either (he punched out Arthur in The Tick vs. Arthur's Bank Account). He frequently makes literary references that go over the heads of the rest of the league, and then he shouts "read a book!" By far the most entertaining moment for Handy was when The Human Ton was eating The Tick's head and Handy bragged about how he could still talk.

In Grandpa Wore Tights Handy talks on the phone to and tries to use the Desire-O-Vac to make himself a real boy...

Appearances: The Tick vs. Arthur's Bank Account, Grandpa Wore Tights

[Dr. Strange]

12. I assume you're kidding.

That was just ton-in-cheek, right?

[MiddleFingerMom]

13. Hamlet, on discovering that Ophelia had put on a "few extra pounds"...

.
... urges her to go to a Weight Loss Spa.
.
Hamlet:
I did love you once.
.
Ophelia:
Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.
.
Hamlet:
You should not have believ'd me, for virtue cannot so
inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it. I lov'd you not.
.
Ophelia:
I was the more deceiv'd.
.
Hamlet:
Get thee to a tonnery, why woulds't thou be a needer of
dinners?
.