Girlfriend's ex-husband is harassing her by phone . . . what to do?

[DeltaLitProf]

He has custody of one of her children and uses imaginary concerns about that child's health ups and downs (she has diabetes) to contact the mother about 30 times a day. When she doesnt answer, he gets upset (cursing, threatening to take custody of the other child, threatening to take the child he does have custody of out of state). He tells her if she doesnt answer his every phone call, he will carry out his threats.

Neither of us have more than $500 to rub together to get an attorney to work on this. Does anyone have experience in cases like this?

[Skittles]

1. you have recordings of this guy's irrationality (on an answering machine)?

[DeltaLitProf]

5. We wish.

She doesn't have a land line. Only a cell phone.

[Skittles]

9. that guy sounds like a nutcase

who has no business taking care of children - find a way to record his threats

[Manifestor_of_Light]

2. Record threathening messages, go to the District Attorney with them.

Keep a WRITTEN RECORD of the dates and times of these threatening phone calls.

After you get a bunch of these threatening messages, keep phone on answering machine ALWAYS, or if cell phone, set it to NOT take messages, only phone number pages.

Does he have visitation with the other kids? Does she have visitation with the one that ex hubby has custody of?

Don't know what state you're in. Find out what the standards are in your state for a restraining order, from the D.A. Go to her divorce lawyer and find out what to do -- I assume this guy has a history of violence and threats.

If her divorce lawyer won't do anything, go to a more aggressive lawyer.

I have a law degree but I don't practice.

[DeltaLitProf]

4. I'll pass this along to her

I appreciate this. In this state only one party's knowledge of a conversation's being recorded is needed. The logistics of recording a voice on a cell phone, however, seem insurmountable. But he has said some awful things when he was put on speaker phone.

She agreed to custody of one child, who is under 12. In this state apparently a 12-year-old can choose which parent to live with. So her other child chose the father.

We're dealing with a sociopath here. He uses the kids to concoct reasons to have contact with my girlfriend and to say and do threatening things. He's sent a ten-year-old out in 14-degree weather to knock on our door at 11:00 pm at night, because the child told daddy she left her cell phone with mom. But mom didn't have said cell phone.

It looks like we're going to have to spend thousands of dollars that we don't have.

[elleng]

10. Check with public defenders; they may have ideas.

AND/or court clerks, cops, etc.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

3. In my state

This is called Aggravated Harassment and he can be charged criminally. Call your local PD..

[DeltaLitProf]

6. Funny you should talk about criminal charges

He's already facing a court date after I swore out an affidavit with the city police. He sent me two facebook messages threatening to ruin my reputation with a lie, but a lie that could cost my job if the wrong people heard it.

[LeftyMom]

7. You saved and printed those, right?

If you didn't, do that now.

Then go talk to somebody about what it takes to file charges for blackmail.

[DeltaLitProf]

8. I did.

And I plan to be there in court to offer my testimony.