Strange experience - have I flipped my lid?

[tango-tee]

I was very close to my father all of my life. I was Daddy's Girl. He encouraged me in being the tomboy I was as a child, carefree and rambunctious, although in the 1950's little girls just "didn't behave this way". He was my champion.

Fast forward fifty years: After Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer and while he battled his illness, we became closer still. Eventually, there came a point when words were no longer necessary. Sitting next to him, holding his hand and tending to him was all that was needed.

And then he died.

Dad was a railroad engineer for more than 45 years. The cemetery where we laid him to rest is next to the station where he worked. There is one elevated track which runs parallel to the cemetery. As the congregation made its way toward the grave, there was a V-90 diesel engine (which my Dad drove for many years) on this track, coming toward us. It didn't pull any cars, drove quite slowly and whistled as it went by.

Here is the problem: No one but me saw or heard it. I only realized that this experience may have been out of the ordinary when I mentioned to my family that the engine and its whistle were a final good-bye wave from Dad. To me, it was like ointment on a wound. And then, my family told me that no one else had either seen the engine or heard the whistle.

Dear DUers - have any of you had such experiences? What should I think of this?


Edited to add:

No, I was not under the influence of barbiturates, alcohol or anything else at the time. If I had been, well....

[redwitch]

1. I think that is lovely.

Your dad was saying farewell. I don't think you are crazy.

[tango-tee]

2. Thank you so much. Crying as I am typing this.

I miss Dad more than words can say.

[elehhhhna]

12. of course it was Daddy

and you know it.

Very sweet of him. He really loves you.

[tango-tee]

18. Yes it was.

And you're right - I know it, deep in my heart. It still is strange, though.

[bobmorr1]

3. angels walk among us

That was your dads farewell message that everything is alright. Till you meet again.

[tango-tee]

4. That is what I hope for.

Until we meet again.

Thank you so much for your kind words, bobmorr1.

[dysfunctional press]

24. no they don't.

and death is the end of the line. there is no "meet again".

live life to the fullest, because it's all you get.

[tango-tee]

30. I'm not so sure.

The rational side of me agrees with you. How could I not?

But then there is the other side that hopes and dreams... and that is a side I'm unable or unwilling to let go of completely.

[dysfunctional press]

38. man created gods in his own image...not the other way around.

[Sanity Claws]

5. No

Your dad gave you a nice farewell.
Cherish the memory.

[tango-tee]

7. I will do that.

Always. And :hug:

[lost-in-nj]

6. my father died in 1982

a few years ago while I was outside on a summer night talking on my phone.... well crying on it... about my ex who was cheating on me and left.... all of a sudden out of nowhere the leaves on the red maple tree my father planted started to move as if being blown by the wind. but there was no wind this was the only tree moving. it did this for less than a minute and at that point I knew my dad was letting me know I would be ok....

what a wonderful thing you saw


lost

[tango-tee]

8. Dear lost-in-nj,

That must have been such a wonderfully moving experience for you! I can very well put myself in your place. Such a sweet, tender sign.

My Dad and I planted trees together when I was a girl, and not even a year after he died we had a terrible storm which flattened more than fifteen of those trees in our yard. Huge trees, more than 40 years old. It was almost as if his presence had been eradicated.

[elleng]

9. Folks at A, S + A tell of similar experiences.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x112697

[tango-tee]

16. Dear elleng,

You're right, perhaps the folks in AS&A would be interested in this topic. How do I go about cross-posting into the group? Could you possibly do this? If I try, most likely my computer will implode/explode....

[elleng]

27. Will do, tango.

[tango-tee]

34. Thanks, you're a sweetie!

Luvya.

[elleng]

35. Hope you're OK; you DEFINITELY have NOT flipped your lid!

[tango-tee]

37. There *are* people who feel otherwise....

They say I'm :tinfoilhat: and/or :dunce: and/or :silly:

Feeling so much better right now! Thanks, elleng!!!

[redwitch]

26. A visit from my grandmother

18 years ago we moved to a new state 2 weeks after my grandmother passed away. And 3 days after we moved my 18 month old had a grand mal seizure. We were terrified, had moved away from all our support, pediatrician, family and friends. One night before he had his brain scan to see if there was a serious problem I had a dream. I was in my family home and my grandmother was there, in the suit she wore to our wedding. She was sitting in her favorite chair and she was bouncing my son on her knee and laughing with such delight! She adored that baby so much. I woke and knew that he was going to be ok. I am certain she visited with us in the dream to tell us not to worry. I was really comforted. He is just fine now, college student, no other seizures since that one.

[tango-tee]

33. This is simply amazing and wonderful.

I wonder what it is that keeps departed loved ones returning to us in our dreams, forcing us to think about our lives. As I mentioned to a fellow DUer on this thread, the *rational* side of me poo-poos this. On the other hand, I find so much comfort and solace in keeping Dad close, thinking he is still very much a part of my life.

Sending all my best to you and yours, dear redwitch!

[sarge43]

10. Our minds are very adept with giving comfort and healing.

In effect your mind gave you a comforting vision. You love your father and your father loved trains -- right and meet you'd see him saying farewell with that engine. You were fortunate; you'll have that sweet memory all your days.

I still hear my mother's voice. No ghost or spirit, just my mind keeping the memory alive and giving me comfort.

[tango-tee]

15. Yes, the thought gives me comfort.

The locomotive, the whistle... almost as though he gave me one last hug.

[nuxvomica]

11. I had a less stunning experience that I wonder about

Way back around 1999 or so, the company I work for made a push to get some patents. I had two ideas that met the requirements. When I got notice that the applications were accepted, I told my dad who practically exploded with pride. I tried to bring him down to earth about it, saying it was a long process and a lot of applications never become patents, but he was hopeful.
Just about every Sunday I would have dinner with my folks and Dad never failed to ask "How are those patents coming?" This was annoying, of course, but I tried not to show my annoyance because it was all about him being so proud of me.
My dad died on December 31, 2006, after a long illness. In the fall of 2007, I returned to my desk after a meeting to find the head of the company sitting there. He wanted to tell me in person that the lawyers had informed him that one of my applications had finally become a patent. This was the company's first ever homegrown patent (they had purchased others) and there was much celebration but I was a little sad because my dad had not lived long enough to finally see it happen. Then one day I decided to look at the patent online and I noticed something interesting about it. The date that it was awarded was also my birthday, the first one since my dad's death.
BTW, my dad work for the Delaware & Hudson in his youth and conducted troop trains during WW2. Is there something about railroad people? ;-)

[tango-tee]

14. Smiling... Yes, there must be something about railroad people.

What a lovely post. I appreciate it so much!

[Dappleganger]

13. There are some things which just cannot be explained.

I know of someone who buried their father at Arlington Cemetery a couple of years ago, after a very long search for his MIA remains had just been identified. It took his entire life (44 years) to find his dad. When they returned to see the headstone later on, there was a fawn resting on the grave site. Nobody else saw it except for Keith (not even his family), and it was eerily beautiful just resting there, all alone with no mother in sight. As he walked away a stranger came up to him and asked if he had taken a picture of the fawn. My friend felt very strange about all of this. His wife thought he was crazy but his kids believed him. Keith said it was like his years of searching had finally come to a rest and the deer symbolized that.

[tango-tee]

17. He found peace

after all this time; what a comforting tought. The father he hadn't known for so many years... and then there was a fawn resting on the grave. Damn, where are my Kleenex????????

[Dappleganger]

20. If only you knew the whole story...

OMG, there is so much more it would make an awesome movie!

One weekend my friend was playing golf in Williamsburg with a business partner, they met up with two friends of his partner to play through. As they're talking about stuff Keith hits it off w/one of the other guys and it turns out that this was his father's wingman! The guy never spoke about what happened but later gave him details about his dad's last few hours that Keith never knew before.

Things that may you go 'hmmmmmmm.' :wtf:

[tango-tee]

22. What can I say? Amazing....

Dapple, it seems that there are some things which simply cannot be explained rationally.

Like you said, this makes you go "hmmmm". With lots of question marks. I'm not usually esoterically enclined, but there are times when I really start questioning if what we can grasp is really "all there is to it".

[Biker13]

19. Your Dad...

was letting you know he was at peace, and not to worry about him! There must be trains in Heaven!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs!

Biker's Old Lady

[tango-tee]

21. Hugs back atcha, Biker.

Don't you just love the DU family? Cantankerous as all get-out one moment, and ready to give aid and comfort a split-second later. That's us.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

23. First of all, I'm so sorry for the loss of your father

My deepest and sincerest thoughts, prayers and condolences to you and your family on your loss:hug:

Secondly, I strongly believe that close spiritual bonds between two souls endures even after one or both of the people involved have departed this earth and are no longer with us in a physical form. I believe that love is an emotion that must be so powerful that it has the potential to transcend the traditional barriers and limitations that death would seemingly appear to place on us.

My mother passed away a few years ago. Since then, I have had a number of experiences that with what I believe to be her spiritual being in one form or another which have been too vivid for me to dismiss as having been from my imagination.

I think the experience that I've had which may relate the most closely to your experience was with my maternal grandfather. He was a kind, loving, wonderful man who was somewhat of a mentor, guide and source of inspiration and wisdom to me in my early years of my life. I would spend hours talking to him about his life and listening to the wonderful stories he used to tell. He died when I was fourteen years old and I still miss him deeply and think about him quite a lot

Several years later, I had this dream where my grandfather, my sister and I were in his house and we were talking. There is an indoor garden in his house with a step going down into the actual garden area itself. In my dream, my grandfather stepped down into the garden and my sister and I, knowing that he was going blind in his old age, were worried that he would trip and fall so we reached out to grab him. My grandfather turned to us and told us not to worry, that he could see where he was going and that he was going to be fine. I woke up from the dream feeling a strong sense of happiness, love and peace. It was then that I realized that it was the tenth anniversary of his passing, an event which I had totally forgotten about. Was it a coincidence? Maybe. But it was so powerful and vivid and the feelings I felt when I woke up were so strong that I think that there was something more to it

I think your Dad was showing his love and affection for you and giving you one last goodbye.

:hug: :hug:

[tango-tee]

And guess what....

... to me it is as if he is still with me in so many ways. There have been decisions I had to make when in my mind I've turned to him for guidance in the sense of "Dad, what's your take on this?".

He was a good person with a deeply ingrained sense of honor, someone who wasn't afraid of standing up for what was right. Perhaps that was something he learned throughout his youth, growing up during the Nazi years in Germany as the youngest child of Social Democrats.

And no one can ever ruffle my hair the way Dad did. I miss him. I miss him so much.

[LibertyLover]

25. That is so very cool

Saying good-bye one last time. I've never had an experience like that, but know people who have. No, you aren't going crazy. I'm glad that your dad got to say good-bye in style.

[tango-tee]

31. Dad had style.

Yes, indeed.

[kgnu_fan]

28. A gift only for you

Accept it and keep it without any explanation... love

[tango-tee]

29. What a wonderful thought.

A gift only for myself from Dad.

Thanks.... Sending hugs.

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. If the only things that are real are those we experience or sense, then anything we sense is real.

In one way or another.

What a beautiful thing to have experienced! From an objective standpoint, probably no train existed since no one else saw it and it seems improbably; but from YOUR standpoint it was there, and the experience had deep comforting meaning for you, so in that sense it was a real event to be cherished and remembered. Something that was there solely for you, and that makes all the more special.

I have heard many stories of experiences like this, and have had my own weird spiritual moments that could be called hallucination (and surely were) but which had great impact on me.

Not all things in this universe are as they seem, nor not as they don't seem.


You'll have an awesome memory of you dad for the rest of your life.

[redwitch]

36. "There are more things in heaven and earth Horatio..."

I have had several unexplainable moments in my life that have made me question what is real.

[old mark]

39. TT, after my grandfather died, I saw him sitting in my room - I was 6-

and he talked to me, telling me things were going to be OK again and not to worry.

I don't believe in that stuff, but it doesn't seem to make much difference, does it?

Remember it and hold it close. I think it was a gift.

mark

[tango-tee]

40. I'm so glad other DUers have shared their experiences and thoughts here.

It's truly amazing, isn't it, how loved ones seem to reconnect, letting us know things are okay.

Thanks for posting, Mark!

t-t

[hibbing]

41. Wow

Hi,
Sorry for your loss, but thank you so much for sharing that story, made me tear up. I am sure you think of him anytime you hear a train whistle.

Peace

[tango-tee]

46. Yes!

Going to the subway station on my way to work each morning, I pass the tracks the freight trains use. There have been so many times when this particular type of locomotive goes by and I never fail to think of Dad when I see it.

[Kaleva]

42. My mother told me in a dream that she was going to leave in October. She died that October.

[emilyg]

43. A gift from your Dad. Lovely.

[NNadir]

44. Grief is always a strange trip, but it is one that is always valid.

Take it for real, because it is the most real thing you will ever experience.

Congratulations to you for being alive.

[KittyWampus]

45. Yes, I have seen several people say good bye after they've left their bodies. It's normal

but we often shut it out. It registers in the part of the brain we used as children playing make believe.

One incident- woman who was our tenant committed suicide, her cancer had returned. My father couldn't handle cleaning out her space so I did it on a nice sunny day. While I was in the house the windows started rattling something fierce so I looked outside to see why/how it got so windy. It was sunny and still outside. The windows were rattling of their own accord.

Next day, I got rid of the wooden goose cutout our tenant had on the lawn. Later that afternoon, ONE single goose landed and stood in that very spot. Never seen a goose land here before or since that day. I took a photo of that goose as proof.

[bobmorr1]

48. An experience with a pet

Had an experience with a pet once. We had a Pekingese dog whose kidneys were failing fast. I made a couple calls to see if a priest could come out to bless her. Our church stated they couldn't do that for a pet. In fact some friends mentioned the church wouldn't do that for their mother. I called another church further away and they said they would look into it. About 1 hour later a car came down the road from the opposite direction. It was a priest who had a bad limp. He came in the house and blessed our peke. He noticed our St Francis statue in the yard and commented on it. He brought a piece of garment priest use decorated with animals. As he left he ask me to pray for him. He mentioned my wifes name in our conversation. I never mentioned her name. He said not to worry, everything would be fine. I felt a certain peace when he was there and after he left. He blessed our yard where other pets were buried. I later called the church to thank them. They said they were sorry they couldn't get anyone. I told them someone had been out. They told me it wasn't from their parish.

[NuttyFluffers]

47. that's lovely! yes, sometimes these things do happen...

:hug:

but what a blessing! take heart that you've been given a special and meaningful gift of comfort.

:grouphug: