Have you ever rejected an apology?

[bluestateguy]

We always assume that apologies are accepted, but I think that often they are not.

How about you? And I don't mean in politics either.

[Iggo]

1. A lot, but not as much now as I used to.

"Apologies are for children" was my thing.

"Don't be sorry you did it. Just don't do that."

"Too late. Treat the next guy better."

Shit like that. I've mellowed considerably. I still go off every now and then, though.

[trof]

2. Never rejected a sincere one, but...

Sometimes it doesn't make 'everything OK again'.
:-(

[kimi]

3. I'm ashamed to admit this

but there are some awful nasty people in my life who I'd like to apologize to me, just SO I could reject their apology.

How childish does THAT sound? :blush:

[Bucky]

18. That sounds positively human of you.

When I screw up, I try to make an honest apology. But I've seen people be asshats who then dimeturn and try to make it all better with a pro forma "Sorry 'bout that." It's not like I'm the remorse police, and I'm the first to say "no harm no foul" but there've been time when I can just smell the insincerity. I don't know if I reject the apology outright, or if I make a cold acceptance and then put up my walls.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. I have never rejected an apology.

But one of mine was...

I am so glad I no longer know that person...

x(

And BTW, it was not someone here, either...

[femmocrat]

5. Not exactly. I might forgive but I never forget.

I might say, "Oh, that's OK", but I will hold it against the person forever. That's for big things, not something minor like stepping on my new shoes. LOL

I'm very easy-going about the "small stuff".

[Bertha Venation]

6. No, but if my psychotic ex ever apologized for

fucking my life for a good many years, I would tell her no thanks. I would not allow her that satisfaction.

Like it's ever gonna happen. She's either even more fucked up than she was 25 years ago, or she's dead.

[LanternWaste]

7. None but one...

None but one... and that one was from me to me.

To be honest, I would imagine that denial of a sincere apology would speak much more of me than of the person apologizing.

[UTUSN]

8. I'm sorry, but apologies are WORTHLESS.

We all know the ABUSIVE relationship cycle: 1) crap happens. 2) crapper apologizes. 3) it happens again.

That's it.

[raccoon]

20. I don't think they're ALWAYS worthless. If it's an abusive relationship, yes.

Sometimes, the person is just clueless, and when you tell them something bothered you, the apology is sincere.

[Inchworm]

9. The 25th apology loses its pizazz

so, yes.

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. especially when it is for doing the same thing.

so Yeah, me too. :hi:

[Lilith Velkor]

10. Never had the opportunity.

Every person who ever seriously hurt me felt entirely justified in doing so. Funny how that works.

[Kat45]

11. I once had a weird apology situation I'll try to explain.

When I was in eighth grade, a group of girls were harassing me. One of the girls was going to be moving that summer, so at the end of the school year she came up to me and apologized for her behavior. I actually had some respect for her for doing that, since none of the other girls ever apologized (and pretty much acted like nothing ever happened). But when that girl came to apologize to me, another one of the girls came with her and was standing next to her. The second girl never said a word the whole time, and I always wondered if she thought that by being there, the apology would apply to her as well. It did not.

[havocmom]

12. Once. It was a self serving act more than an apology and I called him on it

Was more an attempt to turn back clock, do-over after VERY bad behavior.

Didn't accept that half-assed apology because he was sorry there were consequences, not that he did something.


hmmm, thinking about it, there was one other apology I did not accept, from my alcoholic father, for basically same reason as above: he was sorry there were consequences for his chronic irresponsibility, but he was not ever gonna change, so to me, he was not really sorry for all the pain he put our family through.

Both got written off and out of my life. That's OK too. I don't have to accept insincerity from someone who just wants to be let off the hook they put them self on. Nothing vindictive about it. Just don't feel the need to be a door mat for form or to enable a heel to keep being a heel to me.

[TK421]

13. Yes, when I feel that apology was not sincere

and yes...I can tell when it is not

[Quantess]

14. Someone rejected my apology.

So I took my apology back. Not really, but getting apology rejected made me feel un-sorry.

[AsahinaKimi]

15. I have never rejected an apology.

Being Japanese (and part Korean) I feel the apology is very important. I have often heard
Gomen Nasai..and Sumimasen with my family all my life. I was especially impressed with
seeing "Dogeza" which shows the ultimate respect in the apology in Japanese culture:

This is "Dogeza"

[BlueIris]

17. Fake, insincere, and non-apologies, sure.

Like the "I'm sorry...that you feel that way," bullshit, for instance.

[Liberty Belle]

19. Yes, from an abusive repetitive stalker.

"Sorry" just made him think he could do anything and be forgiven over and over.

There are times when not forgiving someone is the smartest thing to do.

[cbdo2007]

21. Yes and it's actually quite fun....

I don't even remember a specific example now but I felt so good about myself by sticking up for myself and rejecting their stupid apology.

If you think the person is sincere and is really sorry then you should accept it and move on but if they're just blowing smoke up your ass and they were an idiot before and they'll continue being an idiot...no reason to accept it, it's better to call them out for being an idiot.

[ccinamon]

22. Yes...just last week actually..

stupid woman crossed 2 lanes to cut me off while I was in the right lane must turn right because she just HAD to make that right turn....I had to slam my brakes on to keep from getting hit...I leaned on my horn at the same time I was braking (since she obviously didn't see me -- or care that I was there). We got stopped at the next light and I was in the left lane, she was in the right,,,,she beeped her horn and I looked over and she said "I'm sorry"....I was still thoroughly pissed and just ignored her.

Traffic was relatively light, she could have gone up a half block and turned around in the strip center...cost her maybe 3 minutes. I taught my kids to do that, I've done it myself when I've mis-judged the traffic...it's not that hard a concept!

The nice thing about most Texas cities of any size, is the multiple lanes on main streets and the access roads that parellel the highways....don't fucking be an ass in the car...if you are in the wrong lane or miss your turn, go up and turn around! Don't stop or cut people off so you can make your turn.

Unlike most other states, you won't end up in a part of town that you can't get out of.

[XemaSab]

23. My dog just rejected an apology

Sorry, Bee, but being half springer means that sometimes you need your ears cleaned with vinegar and rubbing alcohol. :P