This is an old one. Maybe you've seen it and maybe you haven't but I still like it..

[WCGreen]

Note found on the refrigerator one morning:

My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy.

I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife, good friend and a life partner. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don't be upset----I shall be home before midnight.

With hugs,

Your Hubby



When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table :


My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old.

As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. In the spirit of your honesty, and not necessarily to reciprocate in kind, I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Luv you,

Sweetie

[texanwitch]

1. It has been awhile since I heard this.

Still funny.

[texanwitch]

2. It has been awhile since I heard this.

Still funny.

[murielm99]

3. Yes, it is still funny.

Are you staying out of the hospital and in relatively good health? I guess if you are posting jokes you must be okay.

[From The Ashes]

4. Here's one for you:

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

[GCP]

5. LMAO

:rofl:

[WCGreen]

6. That's a good one...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. This is funny!

Thank you!

:rofl: