Everyone gearing up for St. Douchebag's Day?

[HughBeaumont]

Because let's face it: that's what it ends up being.

[LeftinOH]

1. St. "Look At Me!.. I'm 18 and Drunk off my Ass!" Day. I hate it.

[HughBeaumont]

3. Hee hee . . . if you're from Cleveland . . .

. . . any more it's St. "Look at me, I'm 12, drunk and skipping school FUCK YEAH!" Day.

The RTA and Rapids smell like beer, B.O. and ASS when the parade is done. Horrible.

[Symarip]

2. This sums it up nicely

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/03/16/89-saint-patricks-day/

Normally if someone were to wake up at 7:00 in the morning, take the day off work, and get drunk at a bar before 10:00 a.m., they would be called an alcoholic, and not in the artistic, edgy way that white people are so fond of.

On March 17th, however, this exact same activity is called celebrating St. Patrick’s day. This very special white holiday recognizes Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland who helped to bring Catholicism to the Emerald Isle. His ascetic life is celebrated every year by white people drinking large amounts of Irish-themed alcohol and listening to the Dropkick Murphys.

It is also the day of the year when you can make the most gains in your social and professional relationship with white people.

Most of the time, white people consider celebrations of European heritage to be racist unless they omit large swathes of the 16th through 20th centuries. But since the Irish never engaged in colonialism and were actually oppressed it is considered acceptable and encouraged to celebrate their ancestry. For this reason, 100% of white people are proud to claim that they are somewhat Irish.

A big part of St. Patrick’s Day is having white people feel particularly upset at the oppression of their ancestors that has in no way trickled down to them. If you find yourself talking with a white person who tells you about how their great grandfather was oppressed by both the English and the Americans, it is strongly recommended that you lend a sympathetic ear and shake your head in disbelief. It is never considered acceptable to say: “but you’re white now, so what’s the problem?”

It is also worth noting that on this day, there is always one trump card that never fails to gain respect and acclaim. When you are sitting at an Irish bar and someone orders a round of Guinness, you must take a single sip and while the other white people are savoring their drink, you say: “mmmm, I know it sounds cliche, but it really is true. Guinness just tastes better in Ireland.”

This comment will elicit an immediate and powerful response of people agreeing with your valuable insight. This statement also has the additional benefit of humiliating the members of your party who have not been to Ireland (and thus cannot confirm this proclamation). Having not traveled to Ireland and consumed a beer that is widely available in their hometown and throughout the world, they will immediately be perceived as provincial, uncultured, and inferior to you.

It is also strongly encouraged that you memorize the lyrics to “Jump Around.” It will come in handy.

[HughBeaumont]

4. "I came to get down. I came to get down. So get out y'seat and joomp aroond!"

:rofl: :rofl: That's like the St. Douchebag's Day anthem. What do you say about a video that ends with assault?

Yes, and if there's ANYthing that belongs in the SWPL blog, it's St. Douchebag's Day.

[Zomby Woof]

19. That's a great rant

I agree with you, even as I have my DU posts decked out with "traditional" St. Patrick's Day icons. :D

[SoxFan]

28. LOL

"His ascetic life is celebrated every year by white people drinking large amounts of Irish-themed alcohol and listening to the Dropkick Murphys."

I'm of Boston Irish stock, so I do this the other 51 weeks of the year, too.

[brendan120678]

31. I'm a member of the...

Ancient Order of Hibernians, and for some members, it's more like an every day event.

BTW: Love your pin picture in the signature line.

[TZ]

5. St. Douchebag's day?

How in the world did Symarip get a holiday named after him...:rofl:

[Symarip]

6. I'm no saint.

Just a run-of-the-mill douchebag.

[graywarrior]

7. Stay outta Southie!

[HughBeaumont]

8. I'm from the Cleveland area.

For that day, they ALL think they're South Beantown. The bottom photo is from E 9th st.

[Tailormyst]

9. I love the fact that I can stock up on corned beef wicked cheap.

There are 10 sitting in my freezer right now and not that crappy New York cut red shit either. Real Corned Beef is gray and Ohhhh so yummy.

[KG]

10. nothing like institutionalized drunken douchbaggery.

[Zomby Woof]

11. Green beer drinkers are the worst

Drink real beer, goddammit. Not Coors Light with green food coloring.

[redqueen]

12. Why is this such a big deal here?

It's not that big a deal in Ireland.

I don't get it.

[HughBeaumont]

13. Because we're AmUHRica, and we do shit obnoxious, huge and douchey.

Plus, it's basically an excuse to take the day off, wear wankery green shit and beads, get drunk before breakfast and act like a clown.

[Zomby Woof]

14. Don't forget Cinco de Mayo

Where all Amurkins magically become Mexicans.

The rest of the year white Americans are bitching about "them damn dirty Mexicans sneaking across the border and stealing our jobs!" and "why don't they speak English?" - but on May 5th, it's time to wear oversized sombreros, and drink Coronas with lime.

May 5th is barely even noticed in Mexico. September is far more important - that's the month they celebrate their independence AND their revolution.

[HughBeaumont]

24. Also, you have to listen to Sammy Hagar, the patron saint of douche, and the Cabo Wabo . . whatever.

"MAS TEQUILA!"

:rofl:

[SteppingRazor]

15. You say that like taking the day off, wearing green, getting drunk and acting like a clown is bad.

I don't get it.

:shrug:

[JVS]

32. Must be a snob or an Orangeman!

[SteppingRazor]

33. Or worse -- a snobby Orangeman!

:wow:

[redqueen]

21. I never got into it myself.

I wear something green, that's about it.

All the douchebaggery is just a mystery to me.

[hedgehog]

16. I prefer "St. Douchebag's Day " to "St. Patty's Day "

:grr:

and don't even get me started on substituting a four leaf clover for a shamrock!
:banghead:

[LeftyMom]

17. I just think it sucks that I can't go out on my birthday without slipping in teenage vomit.

:(

[HughBeaumont]

Or being surrounded by brah toolboxes with 50,000 green beads.

Sorry for your luck. And happy birthday in advance :)

[SteppingRazor]

18. I love St. Pat's. My family's very Irish, I'm quite proud of the ancestry, and I like celebrating it

Of course, I avoid the massive street parties. Every year, I go to the same Irish pub to hear some Irish folk music and drink some Guinness, so I avoid most of the douchebaggery which is, admittedly, quite prevalent in the larger gatherings.

[redqueen]

22. See now that sounds like a nice way to celebrate it.

I love the traditional pub music... fiddles and bodhrans and button accordions and all that stuff. :)

[SteppingRazor]

25. Me too. And it's the one time of year when I can hear it.

With the exception of an Irish pub that's a bit of a drive from my home, none of the local Irish places actually have live Irish music, except on St. Pat's. So I really love the day for the chance to hear the music a little closer to home. The pub gets crowded with folks who know all the words, there's lots of singing along, lots of happy faces -- it's good craic, as they say. So, I can't really slag St. Pat's.

On a slightly related note, if you like the music, check out this travel piece by an AMAZING writer in this month's American Airlines in-flight magazine, in which said AMAZING writer takes a road trip across Ireland in search of Irish folk music: www.bit.ly/dBu9EQ

:)

[redqueen]

26. Nice.

:D

And I'm soooo jealous!

[Patiod]

29. I HATE the way other people use it as an excuse to drink

I'm Irish as well (just read my user name a few times aloud). We, too, used to like to go to our local pub and enjoy the live folk music (both on St. Patrick's and other times), but sadly, it's often mobbed by yahoos thinking they're going to find green beer.

But I am just sickened by the idiots (Irish and otherwise) who use it as an excuse to spend the entire day drunk.

[SteppingRazor]

30. Well, I'd probably say that I hate it on any day of the year when idiots can't hold their liquor.

I'd be a hypocrite if I castigated people for getting drunk on St. Pat's. But there's a huge difference between knocking back some stouts or Irish whiskey and singing along to "Wild Rover" vs. painting yourself green, drinking green-dyed Budweiser, and shouting in a bad faux Irish accent until you puke in the street.

[HughBeaumont]

47. Nothing wrong with that at all.

I like some of the Irish rock bands when they lean into the folkier stuff. The bag-a-thon likely isn't there for that.

With working downtown and having to be part of this every year, these obnoxious idiots just ruin everything, especially for families. Sometimes, and I've seen this firsthand . . . we're talking not just individuals, but large groups of people, cannot hold their alcohol and become violent assholes. There are kids down there.

[jobycom]

20. Hey!!! That's Mr. St. Douchebag to you, pal!

Oh, wait, you were talking about St Patricks day tomorrow, not my birthday today... Or were you?

[TZ]

23. Happy Birthday MR. Douchebag!!!

:rofl:

[Drunken Irishman]

27. Guess?

[jakefrep]

34. I thought St. Douchebag got purged after Vatican II

:shrug:

[av8rdave]

35. Great rant...but that doesn't mean I can't go get a green beer after midnight. I AM in Portland...

[Toasterlad]

36. I Enjoy Drinking To Excess On St Patrick's Day

The best way to avoid people like me is to continue to sit in your darkened room peering out at the revelry from behind a curtain, while using your moral superiority to excuse your total inability to enjoy life.

[HughBeaumont]

46. Lighten up, Francis.

I enjoy life just fine without being a much-maligned caricature, thank you very much.

[PVnRT]

52. Gosh, I guess I have to go get smashed to be supercool now

:eyes:

[Toasterlad]

54. Getting Drunk Doesn't Make You Cool. Not Being Uptight About Other People Being Drunk...

THAT makes you cool.

Meanwhile, Erin Go Braugh, mutherfuckers!

:beer:

[nickinSTL]

37. let's see...I am a tiny bit Irish

but it's a tiny fraction of my heritage - I'm much more Norwegian, German and Swedish.

(Why don't we celebrate St. Olav's Day? Because no one wants to celebrate by eating lutefisk?)

I don't do much for St. Patrick's - I usually wear a green shirt, that's about it - and we usually eat corned beef (ok, my wife does, I can't really eat meat), cabbage and potatoes, and the wife gets Guinness.

We've actually already done our feasting, as our work schedules make it impossible to eat dinner together during the week, so we did it this weekend.

Mmmm. I like cabbage and potatoes :)

[HughBeaumont]

48. Myself, I always miss the Feast of the Assumption every August.

Always seem to be doing something that week and miss out on good Italian. Of course, that thing brings out the faux-Guidos and Goombahs. Cannot win.

[Danger Mouse]

38. St. 'I'm not even fucking Irish it's just an excuse for me to get drunk and be an ass' Day, you mean

Yeah, I hate it.

[Rhythm]

39. I'm not sure i even own a green shirt...

Just not something one needs here in the land of the old gold and blue.

[trof]

40. Party Pooper. Ya KNOW God's gonna gitcha for that, dontcha?

He's watching.
He's everywhere.
Erin go bragh.
Or however you spell it.
UP the British!
;-)

[TreasonousBastard]

41. I'll give ya a hundred bucks for any real Irishman ya meet at...

one of these damfool parades or chugging parties. Every Irish barkeep I ever knew hated the day and wanted to close the bar. Drunken amateurs was bad enough, but the phony Hollywood Irish accents made them see red. (Or Orange.)

The Irish are a great people in a lot of ways, but foisting this bullshit on the rest of us and not showing up themselves to clean up the puke is unforgivable.

[HughBeaumont]

45. Like it was said above, I don't think they foisted the toolboxing part on us.

I think it's just an American thing to be faux-Irish and throw up in the streets, because it apparently isn't that big a deal in Ireland itself.

My wife's visited there. She said they're really laid back, polite and moderately paced people.

[frogmarch]

42. And get off my lawn!

How dare you rabble-rousing whippersnappers enjoy yourselves by drinking beer and wearing silly hats and big green eyeglasses!

[lunatica]

43. Here's some Irish Yoga to go with that

But I suspect the real Irish in this picture are still partying somewhere a million miles away.

[madinmaryland]

44. Uhh. He was tombstoned a few months back from here.

:hide:

[Kali]

49. git offa mah lawn!

eh, I used to love to go barhopping, drinking food coloring back in my youth

now I have a couple 6ers of Harp in the fridge and will do the non-Irish corned beef and cabbage deal, calmly at home in my dotterage. No Irish in my background that I know of. I do Cinco de Mayo too, but I GO to Mexico for 16 de Septiembre.

[Silver Swan]

50. Okay..

But because my son-in-law is a bartender at an Irish bar in the Chicago area, I think St. Patrick's Day is great, because the bar owner makes enough money to stay in business for another year, and my SIL makes a lot of tips.

[Quantess]

51. Pretty sure I will stay safely at home

and off the roads. At least I know I won't get hit by a drunk driver.

[Brewman_Jax]

53. I'm sure this guy is glad he can't see all of that

[deaniac21]

59. If you had a bunch of snakes after you it would be a great

distraction from partying. The rest of the time he was probably betting 12 year old boys drunk so that he could get a date.

[Froward69]

55. I like to vomit neon Green beer.

[HillGal]

56. WOW! What a bunch of unhappy miserable party poopers! What ever happened to being glad

that people are happy once in a while and want to have fun? If this is how you act about St. Patricks Day then what the heck are you going to do for Cinco De Mayo? Life is hard enough, so what if people act happy for a day?

[redqueen]

57. "act happy"

I think you just nailed it.

[Lorien]

58. You'll enjoy this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dgr-_phcis

:hi:

[deaniac21]

60. That is magnificent!