So listen...

[LeftyFingerPop]

I worked my ass off today.

Probably 11 hours of heavy gardening.

So, I decided to have a little vino tonight. I have not had a drink in a few months, seriously.

I was thinking about smoking some weed on top of it, but I decided against it.

Know why?

Because the last time I smoked weed on top of wine, I ended up passed out cold on my bathroom floor with my face pressed against my beautiful white ceramic tiles...white with a hint of pink.

My legs were twisted up behind the toilet, and I could not get up for about 30 minutes, and my face had some bruises. 260 pounds of dead flesh.

When my eyes opened, the first thing I did was look for blood and holes in the wall.

If I had my cell phone on me, I would have called 911, but all I would have been able to say was eh eh eh eh eh eh eh....