Someone please assure me that Abbott & Evita WILL learn to love each other

[LynneSin]

It's been a freaking nightmare at my house since I've gotten the new cat and I'm so close to returning Evie back to the shelter (she's young and adorable; she'd get adopted real quickly) but I'm really really trying to put up with the antics of these two.

But last night I could barely get any sleep. Abbie was growling constantly (worst than before he was fixed and could smell female kitties outside my apartment) and Evie was just taunting him all night. I tried to keep her in the bathroom but she yowls so loud it keeps me up and Abbie will sit outside the bathroom teasing her (and the bathroom is right by my bedroom - so I hear all this mess).

So the only solution is to let Evie out and fend for herself against this guy that is 3 times her size. She wants to either sleep on the bed with me or even worse - ON ABBIE'S WINDOW SILL (I kept chasing her off) and then Abbie just sulks and cries at me.

HELP HELP HELP - please tell me this will get better

[WillParkinson]

1. It will get better...BUT...

You MUST keep them apart. They can't just be thrown together because the original cat is too territorial and will consider the young one a threat to be run off.

[LynneSin]

6. That's just not happening

I'm trying, but it's so tough since the bathroom is the only option and that room gets filthy hot if the door stays closed. I can put her in there for limited time, but hours on end and that cat will sweat to death.

But Abbie was pretty happy this morning. Evie was under the bed and Abbie did jump on the bed for some cuddle time. I do have 2 litter boxes and 2 food areas - that should help. Plus I feed Evie a can of food each night in the bathroom with the door closed so she can get some meat on her bones

[Misinformed01]

2. Oh, they will.

They are just vying (is that how that is spelled? Oh well....you know what I mean) for "Top Cat" position in the household.

They will totally work it out...just give it time. They aren't going to kill each other---but, you might have one or both of them on antibiotics for bite wounds before it's over with! Just watch for swelling-

Stephanie

[matcom]

3. gotta keep them apart for about a week or two Lynne

the new one should be locked in a room so they can sniff each other under the door. only take her out when you are home and ONLY for a few minutes.

that is the ONLY way they will learn to get along. its teritorial right now

[LynneSin]

8. In an apartment that's almost impossible

Can you believe that sneak Evie was able to get out of the bathroom through sheer will.

Terror zone!

[thom1102]

4. It is tough, but they will establish a power structure on their own..

It is really difficult in those first few weeks, but they will adjust. If you haven't already "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Owning a Cat" is a great resource with good recommendations for just this situation.

[mmm]

5. It doesn't always get better. Sometimes separation is the answer.

More to the point: if the cats cannot work it out, do not allow one cat to terrorize the other forever.

No one wants to live in terror.

[flamingyouth]

7. Give them time

We've had Papa for five weeks now, and there is still occasional hissing between him and Winky, but they are starting to thaw substantially. Good luck! :hi:

[ET Awful]

9. It'll get better.

It'll improve. I worried about the same things when I introduced Quinn to my roommates two cats (both about 2 years old). They hissed and howled at him for a week or two, now they share their window ledge with him and I've been told that the female even grooms him on occasion (though I've never witnessed it myself).

He still terrorizes them because he likes to play alot more than they do, but overall it works out well.

It just takes time :).

[LynneSin]

10. Did Quinn stay separated for those 2 weeks before moving in?

I know my 2 will never get along because they really haven't been separated enough

:cry:

[ET Awful]

17. Quinn spent his days locked in my bedroom . . .

then a few hours in the evening mingling with the other two, then the whole night locked in with me as well.

Now he roams free during the day and still spends the night in my room (he's my alarm clock, I couldn't wake up if I didn't have a purring ball of fur sitting on my neck). :)

[Az]

11. Did you do the urin trick?

Get some urin from each cat and rub it on the other. This gives them a familiar scent to each other and may ease some of the tension.

[LynneSin]

12. Ok - SO NO!!!

:eyes:

I'm not going to run around and try to catch a sample of their urine. I don't even want to be in the same room when they potty

[Az]

14. Well yeah, there is the icky factor

But what is icky in the name of love. :-)

[TXlib]

13. It will get better.

The cats need an adjustment period.

It took our kitties a while to get used to each other, and even now, they occasionally mix it up in one giant furball of fury.

BTW: Ever notice that cat screams sound like a child screaming?

[SOteric]

15. Honestly my two cats learned a sort of frosty detente

only after years of catfighting. And even now there are flare ups that would try the patience of a saint.

Mine are both fairly aggressive neutered males, however, and that does make a difference. Give it time, it certainly is possible. And don't make them share anything. Cats are territorial. They don't want to share a litter box, a drinking dish, even a toy.

[soleft]

16. My two older cats have grown to tolerate Beamer

When Beamer arrived the two sisters had lived with us for 8 years, ruling the roost. Then in comes this male kitty who turns into an Alpha Male.

Lois and Beamer were even going at it this morning, I think she liked him better than Clark, but the fact I absolutely adore Beamer and favor him doesn't help either.

[LynneSin]

18. I've come to conclusion about Abbie - the only territory he is possessive

about is me. Talk about raging jealousy. I went home for lunch and he's just so happy to see me. But as soon as I go near the other cat he gets insanely jealous.