It's the regional joke thread!

[XemaSab]

So a guy from Kansas, a guy from Idaho, a guy from Washington state, and a guy from California are on a road trip across the country. They've got all their food with them, and they're having a gay old time.

They're riding along and all of a sudden the guy from Kansas opens the window and throws their corn out the window. The other guys are like "What the hell are you doing?" but the guy from Kansas says "Don't worry, we'll get more corn when we get to Kansas."

They keep riding and the guy from Idaho throws the potatoes out of the car. The other guys are like "What the hell are you doing?" but the guy from Idaho says "Don't worry, we'll get more potatoes when we get to Idaho."

Then the guy from Washington throws the guy from California out of the car.

[Chemical Bill]

1. So this Rhode Island farmer and Texas rancher...

are talking. The Texan says "My ranch is so big I can get in my car in the morning and drive all day and still be on my ranch at nightfall." The Rhode Islander says "I had a car like that once."

[quickesst]

3. That's an oldie....

....but goldie. Thanks for reminding me of it.

So, two guys from Michigan are out hunting when one falls down a ravine. His partner, seeing him at the bottom with blood coming from his head calls 911. "I need help, my friend fell into a ravine. He's bleeding and I'm afraid he might be dead." The 911 operator says, "Let's calm down. Now, go make sure your friend is actually dead." About five minutes later the operator hears a gunshot. The man gets back on the phone and says, "Now what?" Thanks.
quickesst

[gimama]

2. Why doesn't texas fall into the Gulf o'Mexico?

Cuz Oklahoma sucks.


&
Women in texas don't get pms..
they get fts.....

"fixin' to start"

That's all I got!:shrug:

[MrCoffee]

21. Dammit, you stole my joke

Meanie.

[Lucy Goosey]

4. From the Great White North

(A Newfie is someone from Newfoundland. But you knew that, eh?)

A Newfie is on his first to the big city, Toronto. Trying to find his way around, he approaches a sharply dressed businessman, and asks, "Excuse me, where do I get the bus at?" The businessman looks snootily down on the Newf and says, "This is Toronto. We don't end our sentences with a preposition in Toronto." Without missing a beat, the Newfie replies, "Okay, where do I get the bus at, asshole?"

*rimshot*

[Gormy Cuss]

8. I heard this one from a tour guide in Canada.

The world is coming to an end this Friday at 8:00 PM --7:30 in Newfoundland.

[mcctatas]

5. it is now illegal for a prick to touch an asshole in this state

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUl6x1YXpg

[madinmaryland]

6. How many Delawareans does it take to man all of their toll booths??

A brazilian LynneSins!

:hide:

[pscot]

7. Three lies you're likely to hear if you visit Montana

I paid cash for this pickup.

I built this place with my own two hands.

I was just helping that sheep through the fence.

[KamaAina]

9. Guy from Texas comes to Hawai'i, years ago

lands at Honolulu airport and catches a cab into Waikiki. The cabbie asks him, "So how do you like our Honolulu International Airport? We built that in only two years." The guy says, "Aw hell, in Texas we could have built that in one year".

On the way into town, they pass the landmark Aloha Tower. "So how do you like our Aloha Tower? We built that in only one year." "Aw hell, in Texas we could've built that in six months."

Finally just before they cross the bridge into Waikiki, they pass Ala Moana Shopping Center, the world's largest (as opposed to an enclosed mall). "Cabbie, what's that on the left?"

"Dunno brah. Wasn't there yesterday."

[BurtWorm]

10. A Mainer and his son are walkin on the beach when a gull flies overhead and lets one fall.

Lands right splat on the father's head. The son says, "Want me to run up to the marina and get some toilet paper?" The father says, "Naw. By the time you get back that gull'll be long gone."

[GreenPartyVoter]

11. Another Maine one

Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said "Ya know Mahtha, I'd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane" and every year Martha would say "I know Stumpay, but that aihplane ride costs ten dollahs.... and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

So Stumpy says "By Jeebers Mahtha, I'm 71 yeahs old, if I don't go this time I may nevah go."

Martha replies "Stumpay, that there aihplane ride is ten dollahs...and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

So the pilot overhears them and says "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride, if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE word, I won't charge you, but just one word and it's ten dollars."

They agree and up they go.... the pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard, he does it one more time, still nothing... so he lands.

He turns to Stumpy as they come to a stop and says "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to holler out, but you didn't."

And Stumpy replies "Well, I was gonna say something when Mahtha fell out...but ten dollahs is ten dollahs!"

[BurtWorm]

14. By jeeziz, that's a good one.

:applause:

[GreenPartyVoter]

15. Don't I know it!

:D

[BurtWorm]

12. Ebanezer is waiting at an outhouse--they call 'em privvies in Maine

when his friend Homer, who went in ahead of him, pops out and says, "You gawt a dollah, Ebanezah?"

Ebanezer fishes in his pocket and pulls out a bill, "Ayuh," and hands it to Homer. To his shock and disgust, Homer turns around and drops the bill into the hole.

"What the hell you do that foah, Homah?" he shouts.

"Oh, well," Homer says, "I drawped a quatah down the hole."

"So?"

"You don't think I'm goin' down theyah for just a quatah, do ya?"

[GreenPartyVoter]

13. Oh, ick! LOL

[sarge43]

26. How come they can never solve a murder case in Maine?

All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.

[BurtWorm]

27. Hmm... Sounds a little more like Georgia to me.

Or NH possibly...

[Ohio Joe]

16. "You can't get there from here"

Except it is not always a joke around here :D

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. You cain't get theah from heah, eithah.

[Ohio Joe]

18. heh, I only fall into the accent when I drink heavily

But that is a much better representation :D

[GreenPartyVoter]

19. It helps to read a few Tim Sample books. He spells it out very well! LOL

[GreenPartyVoter]

20. Here we go. "How to Talk Yankee" video clip. :^D And also

More About Maine Humor: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ecg_WizWicQ

[spinbaby]

22. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.



About 20 years ago on a drive through West Virginia (or perhaps western Virginia, it was long time ago), I heard an ad on the radio that offered free dentures with the extraction of 20 or more teeth.

[KamaAina]

23. It was actually invented in Tennessee

or so I heard in Kentucky. :P

[SKKY]

24. Why doesn't Kentucky sink into Tennessee?

Because Indiana sucks!!!

[Tom_Foolery]

25. Two Hoosiers, Phil and Ted, were fishing on their side of the Ohio River...

when they noticed a man directly across from them on the Kentucky side.

Phil yelled across the river, "Hey, hillbilly! What's your name?"

"Clarence, and what's it to ya?" the Kentuckian replied.

The Hoosiers took offense to Clarence's tone, so Phil yelled
again, "How 'bout I come over there and kick your ass, hillbilly?"

Clarence said, "Suit yourself."

So Phil put down his pole and walked a ways down to the bridge; but for some reason, he came back and sat down next to Ted, which caused Ted to ask, "Phil, I thought you were goin' to kick that hillbilly's ass?"

Phil said, "I sure was going to, but I got to the bridge and the sign said Clarence – 10’9” so I said to hell with it!"

[REP]

28. Hear about the Yooper wedding the groom's family called off?

Turned out the bride was a virgin, and if she wasn't good enough for her own family, they didn't want anything to do with her.