If I had a time machine, I would probably go back and kill the guy who invented the leaf blower

[Bucky]

Of course then I would no longer be motivated to go back in time and kill him, and so I wouldn't, and so leaf blowers would still exist. But still, they're horrible machines.

[Deep13]

1. Can you get whoever invented clocks and lightbulbs too? nt

[Bucky]

2. What are these "clock" things you speak of?

Which reminds me of a joke, how many Luddites does it take to screw in a candle?

[Deep13]

3. None, threaded rods are the devil's work! nt

[pink-o]

8. LOL! I'm stealing that joke n/t

[HopeHoops]

4. Can I go with you? And can we take a leaf blower and run it outside his house for 3 days first?

I mean like 72 hours straight. THEN we can either kill him or encourage him not to invent it or we'll come back (in our present time) and run about a hundred fucking leaf blowers for six weeks straight outside his house. Hopefully he wouldn't have to die that way.

[lunatica]

5. You must go back as the Terminator

You must kill the leaf blower inventor's MOTHER as she comes out of the womb of her mother. Kill his grandmother too, just to be safe.

[Bucky]

10. Do I have to get naked for that?

Um, please don't misconstrue that as a come-on.

[lunatica]

11. Yes. Nakedness is vital

Please don't construe this as a come on either!

[Bucky]

12. I just don't think I could accomplish this important task by myself. Are you willing to help?

Again, as above, there is no inappropriate suggestion being made here.

[lunatica]

14. I've always wanted to go back and place winning bets

Although being naked might make that a bit awkward. Or maybe not if I could choose what age I would be when I went back. This 61 year old body can't compete with my 25 year old one. But hey, I could use the 61 year old body to scare the shit out of somebody! Silver lining you know...

[Iggo]

6. You'd have to kill the guy who invented the blowdryer, too.

Otherwise someone else would just get another bright idea.

[Turbineguy]

7. It's the perfect republican machine

it blows the shit on my side of the street to your side of the street and it makes noise and smoke while doing so.

[graywarrior]

9. I despise those things

[jobycom]

13. Then some guy hired to rake the leaves will go back to kill you

so he can have his leafblower back.

I see a Donnie Darko loop emerging.

[hunter]

15. No, please don't, without a leaf blower how do I make one of these:

http://www.eugenesargent.com/casting.htm

[Kaleva]

16. Are you a part of the leafbagger movement?

Posting threats on the internet is a no-no!

[Biker13]

17. Get the guy...

who invented shrink wrap too, please?

I hate spending an hour opening a new DVD or CD!!

Biker's Old Lady

[Lydia Leftcoast]

18. Ooh, ooh, could I help you kill the guy who invented leaf blowers?

Whatever happened to nice, old-fashioned QUIET rakes and brooms?