rurallib
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 06:07 PM
Original message |
Who takes over when god goes on vacation? |
|
I was talking with my daughter today about a class only she teaches. Her school has decided to train another teacher on it. It got me to thinking - god has a pretty unique position. What happens if tyhe big Kahuna decides to shut down the old prayer lines and go out to contemplate some of America's beauty? (We know the big Kahuna would only visit America - Bachmann told me that).
So is there an assistant god? Or if there are three persons in one, does one of the other two take over? And how would they decide? And how do they split so one can go to the Grand Canyon while the other two stay home? I am truly confused about some of the nuances of the god thing.
|
Swede
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 06:10 PM
Response to Original message |
MiddleFingerMom
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 06:18 PM
Response to Original message |
2. It's not as easy as you might think. |
|
. One day the angels are sitting in heaven mumbling to themselves. God was in a very bad mood. He would fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. They were worried about him, and at the same time getting fed up with it. . Gabriel decided that he must do something, so he approached God cautiously. . "What?" God snapped. . "My Lord, we are worried about you. You seem a little stressed out." . "Oh, really, you think so?" God retorted. . Gabriel took the verbal assault in stride. "Have you considered taking a vacation, Lord?" . God stops and perks up, "A vacation? No, I hadn't thought of that. Where should I go?" . Gabriel stops to ponder this a moment then suggests, "Mercury?" . "No, too hot and I don't have any SPF3000 sunblock." . Gabriel ponders some more, "Pluto?" . God smacks Gabriel on the back of the head, "Other extreme." . "Venus?" . "No, the atmosphere gives me gas." . "Mars?" . "No, those little green men give me the willies." . "Earth?" . God jumps up and is visibly shaken by the suggestion. After a moment or two he finally replies, "No way. Last time I was there, I got some chick pregnant and they're still talking about it." .
|
lunatica
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 07:30 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
|
And then the clouds parted and behold!
|
Turbineguy
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 06:30 PM
Response to Original message |
pokerfan
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 06:36 PM
Response to Original message |
Tikki
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 06:49 PM
Response to Original message |
|
They take over even when god is somewhere around... Tikki
|
madinmaryland
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 06:50 PM
Response to Original message |
6. The Flying Spaghetti Monster, of course. We are actually all pastafarians!!! |
lunatica
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 07:26 PM
Response to Original message |
7. He has a message machine of course |
styersc
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 07:37 PM
Response to Original message |
9. I dont know who takes over, but when I was a kid, he paid me to |
|
feed and walk his dogs. Or was that Mr. and Mrs. Chavez?
|
bigwillq
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 07:39 PM
Response to Original message |
Midlodemocrat
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
|
:rofl:
Sorry, gotta run. Busy smiting and all that.
|
Ptah
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 07:41 PM
Response to Original message |
11. A collection of volunteer 'moderators' |
jobycom
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 07:53 PM
Response to Original message |
12. It's all automated these days. |
|
Seriously, God just made a computer and put it on Auto, and he hangs out at the pool all day.
|
Mopar151
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Mar-27-10 08:01 PM
Response to Original message |
13. Joan Osborne asks the question |
Heidi
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 07:14 AM
Response to Original message |
14. Actually, god is a temp for when CATS go on vacation. (nt) |
datasuspect
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 11:45 AM
Response to Original message |
|
yeah, he likes to be out in the field, and he makes himself too easy to get to, but when the big G leaves in august for a fucking MONTH, ol' God Jr. hangs around headquarters.
|
rcrush
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 11:53 AM
Response to Original message |
16. God likes to play Skee-Ball but those punk kids are always hanging around |
|
Leaving Azrael to take over!
|
Odin2005
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 04:38 PM
Response to Original message |
carlyhippy
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 04:57 PM
Response to Original message |
19. he has an auto-god that takes over |
|
these are usually the times when all hell breaks loose, when god is off across the universe at a stellar resort.
|
HipChick
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 05:10 PM
Response to Original message |
20. The other dude...the one that lives in the other place |
Bluzmann57
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 05:15 PM
Response to Original message |
|
I thought you knew that. I am God's ass. istant. And if I'm not available, then Eric Clapton takes over.
|
Sultana
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Mar-28-10 06:51 PM
Response to Original message |
22. His Son and the Holy Ghost |
DU
AdBot (1000+ posts) |
Mon May 06th 2024, 06:28 PM
Response to Original message |