How to survive a horror movie

[Rocknrule]

Feel free to add to the list:

Never check to see if the monster is really dead
If you're blonde, in a minority group, have big boobs, and/or have sex at any point in the movie, YOU WILL DIE. The same rule applies if you're a meathead, jock, bully, or otherwise testosterone-fueled.
If your new house was built on an Indian burial ground, was the site of a brutal murder, or has a history of residents practicing necrophillia, devil worship, human sacrifice, etc. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!
Never say "Things can't possibly get any worse." They will.
When being chased by a monster or killer, expect to trip and fall. Especially if you're a girl.
Never pick up a hitchhiker
If you hear a disembodied voice telling you to get out, do as it says!
If a town looks deserted, it probably has a reason for being that way
Never look in the mirror. Something horrible will always be looking back at you.
Never recite any Latin-sounding chant, especially around a doll, dummy, etc.
When getting in a car, always check the back seat first
If a person or object has the power to grant wishes, they will either have some horribly ironic twist or come at the cost of your immortal soul
Never trust clowns
Be nice to the new kid in class
Never be in the same supermarket as a religious fanatic, especially during a state of emergency
The cops are always useless, and are sometimes evil themselves
Beware of strangers bearing power tools
Listen to the soundtrack. If you hear wind whistling, a repeated tone, a high-pitched swelling in the score, or the music stops suddenly, run!
If your friend is missing for awhile and seems different when he finally returns, he has joined the dark side
Whenever you feel the safest is the time when you're in the most danger
Your car will never start when you need it to