If Flipper could post on DU, he'd angrily correct everyone who called a dolphin a "fish."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

He'd do it like this:

dol·phin (dlfn, dôl-)
n. pl. dolphin or dol·phins
1. Any of various marine cetacean

mammals,

such as the bottle-nosed dolphin, of the family Delphinidae, related to the whales but generally smaller and having a beaklike snout.

And he'd post something just under the Mods' radar calling the person who called dolphins "fish" a hopeless fuck, because the Mods come down hard on any DUers "calling out" other DUers, but Flipper would be smart enough to get around that. He'd say it without saying it, or more accurately type it without typing it, because even if he gained the ability to type, he probably wouldn't be able to speak. Well, "speak English." That would REALLY be a stretch.

But make no mistake...he would TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.

Because he's FLIPPER, and that's how HE rolls, bee-yotch.



:grouphug:

[Arugula Latte]

1. Preach it!

Also, if Cheetah the chimp from Tarzan could talk, he'd loudly deride the idjits who called him a monkey instead of a chimp (which is an ape, not a monkey, as we all know). He would even more angrily denounce the people who called him a Big Cat because of his name (not that Big Cats aren't awesome, but you get the point).

[kayakjohnny]

2. I think he would probably just

flip them off.

[Skittles]

3. can someone please explain that show to me

I was in England when it was on and I heard this fish, er, whatever, could solve crimes. How the f*** did he do that?

[Captain Hilts]

5. By being smarter than the humans in the cast. nt

[flying rabbit]

4. Pffft

AINTNOHORNSONTHATBEEOTCHYEEEEAAAAAHHHH!

[UTUSN]

6. He might react more like the "cavemen" in the GEICO commercials, like, "SHEESH!1" or,

since dolfs are so randy, they might just would go "WhatEVER" and chase off after some tail.

[struggle4progress]

7. It's because people easily confuse dolphins (which are not fish) with kittens (which are fish)

[Arugula Latte]

8. Kittens only grow up to be catfish, though.

[alphafemale]

9. And Lassie would say..."I'm a boy!_____Why did you give me a Girls name?"

Johnny Cash and his song about a "Boy Named Sue?"

That's got nothing on being a boy dog named Lassie. Even the ants crawling on your food mock you.
The sparrows in the sky laugh at you. You humans can't understand their voices.

You can't imagine the pain.

I am going to rip your throat out tonight while you sleep.

I've set up a Pitbull to take the blame.

[jobycom]

10. Herman Melville thought they were fish.

Took a whole chapter to explain why they were fish and not mammals. You can't just toss out the opinion of great writers like that.

Anyway, if Flipper could post on DU, he still wouldn't care how silly inferior beings classified his kind. He would consider dolphins the top of the pyramid. Classifications are for creatures down-pyramid, not for the one on the point.

[DFW]

11. In the immortal word(s) of Mort Drucker

QUORK!

[peekaloo]

12. and hopefully explain why that youngest kid had a New England accent.

Flippah!

also that dolphins don't "talk" (as portrayed in the show) like that either.

and that Jets' fans are douche bags for their "Squish the Fish" signs }(

[Dr Morbius]

13. I read somewhere that the porpoise who played Flipper wasn't...

...especially well-treated. I hope that's wrong and I hate to spread a rumor. Anyone else heard this?

[Kaleva]

14. Listen & learn from the wisdom in the Flipper theme song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akyJYeBVbuM