How'd You Like to Be a CAT?

[SoDesuKa]

No, I don't think I'd like to be a cat, even with all the neat things they can do. I'd miss my thumbs. And I wouldn't welcome the lack of choice in most cats' lives.

But suppose . . . that right after you die, an angel with a clipboard meets you on the Other Side. He escorts you to a big room full of tables and volunteers sitting behind them ready to take your order. What do you want to be in your next life? You can't choose to be human again because you've been there and done that.

You can be a bird, a salamander, a camel . . . the volunteers are standing by to take your pledge. Would you venture up to the camel's table and ask what it's like?

[NYC_SKP]

1. The hairball thing would make me crazy.

I think I'd like to be something in the ocean, marine mammal maybe...

:hi:

[Roon]

2. Yeah!

Like a dolphin or an orca.

[amerikat]

3. Say what? Some cats have thumbs.

I think I would be a hummingbird. Flowers and flight sounds like a fine life.

[SoDesuKa]

12. I Wish It Was Just Hairballs

My cats puke because of hairballs, but lots of other times too. They gobble their food like animals, and it comes up later. Not all the time, but enough that it doesn't cause me to worry that they're sick. I've seen them do it, too. I tell them, No, don't try to clean it up, I'll take care of it . . .

Sometimes I find dried-out "incidents" behind the couch.

[NYC_SKP]

19. I just learned, just now, that dolphins are capable of something called "unihemispheric sleep".

Half of their brain sleeps while the other stands guard.

This is a National Geographic Channel special about sleep: human sleep disorders and brain activity and sleep patterns of different animals.

They discovered that some birds are able to sleep while they fly.

And dolphins can give their brains rest, one hemisphere at a time.

WOW!

[SoDesuKa]

21. I Learned to Sleep Sitting Straight Up

I had a temp job inputting information that was so confidential that nobody was allowed near the computer. As the project was nearing an end, the data came trickling in and I had very little to do. I learned to take naps while appearing from behind to be wide awake.

The trick has backfired on me more than once. To this day I occasionally find myself nodding off while sitting bolt upright. I'll wake up and two hours have gone by!

[Sanity Claws]

4. A sea lion or sea otter

They seem to enjoy their lives. They eat sushi and swim gracefully.

[redwitch]

5. I dunno if I want to come back.

Could I maybe be one of the volunteers with a clip board? And when it's 5 o'clock go to happy hour somewhere nice?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. I would like to be a cat in a home like mine.

I'd like to be "owned" by a human who indulges and pets and spoils me and feeds me food I love and lets me sleep on her feet every night. That would make up for a lack of thumbs.

[nuxvomica]

7. I'd prefer to swing on a star and carry moonbeams home in a jar

But given the choices, I'd pick camel. They are cool.

[cloudbase]

8. Well, my cats live a pretty good life.

I might have a little trouble with that licking my own ass thing, though.

[GoneOffShore]

9. Not if you were a cat.

[SoDesuKa]

10. In Front of Company, Too

Cats are completely unembarrassed about their bodily functions. If they want to lick themselves, they don't check around first to see who might be watching. They just go right ahead and do it.

When I was a kid, I saw a monkey masturbating in the zoo. He didn't show the least bit of concern.

[petronius]

11. Tongues for toilet paper is a deal breaker for me

I'll go with the poster who suggested marine mammals - I could get by as a leopard seal, a walrus, or an otter...

[SoDesuKa]

13. The Bear and the Rabbit (Joke)

The bear and the rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. The bear is finished, and he says to the rabbit. "Hey rabbit, does shit stick to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "Why, uh, no. It doesn't." And the bear says, "Come here, rabbit." And wipes his ass with the rabbit.

[petronius]

14. Bears are smart...

:rofl:

[csziggy]

15. I think I'd like to be an otter or a dolphin

Both species seem to have a lot of fun and they are intelligent, though dolphins are much smarter than otters. If I wanted to try being an invertebrate, I would be an octopus or squid - they seem to have such an alien intelligence it would interesting to see how they think.

[WinkyDink]

16. A cheetah, sleek and swift.

[Urban Prairie]

17. An eagle, wild horse, or tiger n/t

[Demoiselle]

18. I'm torn between eagles and porpoises.

They have such freedom! Diving, swooping. I just find it hard to choose between the sky and the ocean.

[AnArmyVeteran]

20. I've thought about that question a lot. Yes, I would... (but not just one animal)

I would love to be reincarnated as a cat if I had a human friend like me to take care of it. I love all animals and used to own a lot of dogs. But because of travel it's hard to have dogs. Cats are more independent. In the past two years I have accumulated 4 new cats. I already had one, so that makes the total five. All of them are strays or kittens of strays.

A stray momma cat made my back deck her home and she had three or four litters before I could catch her, but eventually I coaxed her into the house and kept her inside. She turned from completely feral to one of the most affectionate, loving cats I've ever known. The reason why she had so many litters was because I was rarely at my house. I spent most of a year and half being out of town taking care of my sick mother.

Then another female cat had another litter in my neighbor's back yard. I took control of finding them homes. I went through a very thorough screening process because so many people hurt animals. Don't ever advertise a kitten or puppy on Craigslist. People use kittens and puppies to feed their snakes. I'm sorry I had to say that, but I hope it prevents even one kitten or puppy from being abused. The stray had seven kittens and I couldn't part with two of them. Then the first stray momma cat got out of the house after Hurricane Ike, just before I was about to get her fixed. She was only outside a few hours, but that's all it took for her to get pregnant. She had a litter of four and I kept one.

But back to your original question. I worked for a small company many years ago and Karen, a gal who worked on the company newsletter, asked everyone what animal they would like to be. I told her I would love to be a different animal every day just to experience what they go through, what they think, their fears, and how they spend their days. Karen had a quick comeback by saying "You do that already!", implying I was a different animal every day.

It would be fascinating to be a different animal every day for a year and then return to human form. Imagine all of the insights and wealth of information you would learn. And you would have a newfound empathy, understanding and admiration for all the animals you got to be.

I believe I have pictures of all five of my family of cats in my profile...

[one_voice]

22. As cool as I think cats are..

I'm sure I'd hate the hairball thing. I'd like to come back as a dolphin, orca whale, or a unicorn. :D

[WillParkinson]

23. Right now I want to be a dog...

The cats are annoying tonight. I want to bark and scare the crap out of them.