What did you learn from your relationships?

[begin_within]

Either things about you, or just things about relationships in general.

[gratuitous]

1. Stay. Away. From. Psycho. Women.

The sex can be legendary, but it's not worth it. Just trust me on this one.

[petronius]

2. I don't trust you.

What's her number?

;)

[gratuitous]

4. 34689-3347

State penitentiary. She'll be there a while.

[petronius]

5. OK. Now I trust you...

:)

[MiddleFingerMom]

3. Yes. Yes it was.

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The legendary sex was worth every (figuratively) boiled bunny in a stockpot.
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To quote Skittles:
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YES, INDEED!!!!!!
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OR...
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Did I read that entirely wrong?
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Free the Duck!!!!!
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[abq e streeter]

8. + a zillion...unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control...

I am as yet unable to act upon this knowledge:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vQB90iblug

[lkz55500]

19. I'll follow your advice.

[MrsBrady]

6. a friend of my mom's gave me some best advice ever

if you are single and like to do something...
then if you get married, you should still do the things you like to do..

It seems an obvious point, but some people change themselves for their mates....makes no one happy.

Be yourself. always.

[raccoon]

7. Don't EVER get involved with somebody just out of a relationship.

My deceased mother said I got into relationships too fast. She was right.

[conscious evolution]

9. Never leave the toilet seat up at night.

Never wash here under garments.
Never say she looks fat in that dress.
Never sleep with her sister.Even if she says its allright to do so.(Trust me on this one)
Never date a woman who can out drink you.(and its collary-was it good for you as it was for me even though I puked on you? (Don't ask!))
Never ever say I love you till she has said it at least 3 brazillian times.
Sometimes,hookers ARE cheaper.

[MajorChode]

66. I can add a few things here

Never leave the toilet seat up at night.

If you do accidentally leave the toilet seat up and you hear a loud splash in the middle of the night followed by a loud scream, run like hell because you are due for an asswhipping.

Never wash here under garments.

I never wash my own either. When I run out of clean ones I wear hers, which gives her a huge incentive to wash mine. You'd be surprised at how well this works.

Never say she looks fat in that dress.

Sometimes it's just not that simple. Inevitably, she will ask the question, "Do I look fat in this dress?" Under no circumstances must you tell the truth here. The problem is you must lie in a way that's believable. My suggestion is to practice lying on other issues to get in plenty of practice. Don't wait until she actually gets fat.

Never sleep with her sister.Even if she says its allright to do so.(Trust me on this one)

The same holds true for other close relatives, friends, neighbors, business associates, her boss, the maid, and the babysitter.

Never ever say I love you till she has said it at least 3 brazillian times.

And when you do simply say, "I love you until further notice." This absolves you from the responsibility of saying it again, ever.

Sometimes,hookers ARE cheaper.

I'm not even sure "Sometimes" applies here. The problem is, it's hard to find a hooker that will also do maid service, laundry, and food preparation. The reason they are a hooker in the first place is to avoid those activities.

[Raffi Ella]

10. Kindness matters.

A lot.

[sammytko]

11. I enjoy being by myself!

Maybe a longtime companionship relationship would be okay = kind of like Oprah and Stedman!

[Kaleva]

12. Don't judge...be kind...smile...bring home flowers every so often...listen

[AggieGal]

13. Just because someone is older.. it does not mean they are more mature

I was 18 and went out with a 27 year old guy. He put me down and it seemed like anyone who was not male and Republican was a second class citizen. I am not sure where he got off judging me since I had a job (retail sales) and he did not. He seemed to live on the kindness of his Grandmother and Mother who basically gave him an allowance. Never could answer the question about where did he work. The shortest way to describe this relationship is - it was an 11 month one night stand.

So what I learned was:
* Bars are not a good place to meet guys.
* It is OK to be single. Low self-esteem in a bad relationship is much, much worse.
* It is true the way a guy treats his Mom is how he will you. I felt like it was the 1950s in their house. This ranged from minor - they did his laundry for him - to major - he woke up his Grandmother who was recovering from a sprained shoulder to make his orange juice, the kind that is frozen and water is added. How can a guy not add water and stir!!!

[Radical Activist]

36. Wow.

Sounds like a guy who preys on younger women who haven't learned to recognize losers and demand that she be treated with respect. I know a couple of guys like that. Women their own age with a little more experience and self confidence would recognize the warning signs and bad treatment too quickly.
Having a purely sexual relationship with someone is fine if that's what both parties want but these guys probably never took the time and thought to figure out how to really satisfy a woman in bed anyway.

[woo me with science]

14. Never assume that a prince or princess in distress

will ever really *want* to be anything other than a prince or princess in distress.

[callous taoboy]

29. Always keep doors locked after break up with princess in distress.

[Radical Activist]

37. You never really know a woman until you break up with her.

Change the locks if necessary.

[callous taoboy]

38. I lived in fear for years after, still automatically lock my doors when I go home.

[Courtesy Flush]

62. I guess that's true

I've never had an ex anything. I've been with the same woman since I was a teenager (I'm 50 now, married her at age 23). She's fantastic, but I've often said that if I ever have an ex wife, I hope it's not her.

[la_chupa]

15. if he is rude to the wait staff do not bother with the second date

I also don't date anyone who doesn't like animals.

[BlueIris]

71. Or the rest of the first date.

A non-animal lover would be a deal breaker for me.

[guitar man]

16. seperate checking accounts

seriously ;)

[femmocrat]

43. Great answer!

I learned that the first year I was married.....

[GirlAfire]

17. You Hear it All the Time on Judge Judy:

"Never mix love and credit lines!" Even though I've seen the show several times, I had to find out the hard way. :(

[lkz55500]

18. people are so shallow

[BlueIris]

20. Seconding the "watch how he treats his mother" rule from AggieGal. I'll add to that:

Pay attention to the comments he makes about ex-girlfriends.

[Bucky]

27. Ex-girlfriend is probably a better indicator. I treat my mother with a LOT of respect.

[miscsoc]

47. what sort of comment should a fellow make to his girlfriend

about his exes? it's a bit of a minefield. i've found women get offended and jealous when i say anything positive. i try not to say anything at all.

[old mark]

21. That I prefer dogs to many other humans, and that just because I

like someone at first does not mean they are a good person.


m

[GoCubsGo]

35. I learned that, too.

Only, I'm partial to cats. Although, if circumstances were different, I would have a dog, too.

[flvegan]

22. No matter how persistent you are, sex with her sister will be out of the question.

[LeftyMom]

24. Not least of all because my sister would kick your ass into next week.

[Bucky]

26. Arrgh! How can I resist your sister when you keep luring me toward her with talk like that?!

[unpossibles]

53. yeah, what Bucky said

"can kick my ass" is something I look for in a lover.

[mzteris]

77. If I were him, it would be

HER sister I'd be worried about doing the @ss kicking. . . :rofl:

[Radical Activist]

32. That has not been my experience.

At least as long as you don't expect the relationship to last much longer. Sibling rivalries can be interesting.

[LeftyMom]

45. Don't give him any ideas, my sister would kick him in the dick.

Once the hospital reattached it.

[miscsoc]

48. i'm interested in the story behind this

so you boned your ex's sister?

[Bucky]

23. I have not learned a blessed thing.

I prefer to stick with the mistakes I'm most comfortable with. Making new mistakes is just too scary to contemplate.

[Lindsey]

25. To seriously think about ending a relationship over one issue

unless it's a deal breaker (alcoholic, border line personality disorder, etc). As we all know, nothing is perfect. The love of my life and I broke up over something that we could have worked out but at the time it seemed to be a big deal. This was back in 2003 and it's one of the biggest regrets of my life.

[KG]

28. nothing, it seems.

[Tikki]

30. A kind person often was raised by kind people...

Makes me want to be kind like them...

Tikki

[Ikonoklast]

31. The cats are always right. Trust their judgment.

They know.



They know.

[BlueIris]

70. That is so true.

The animal with the best judge of character in my family's home was our pot-bellied pig, but the cats were also shrewd.

[mcctatas]

33. no matter how wonderful someone is, you can't force yourself to stay

in love with them

[Radical Activist]

34. Love is not enough.

Don't allow yourself to be treated like crap no matter how much in love you may be or how great you partner may be in other ways. Love does not make two people compatible.

If someone with an abusive past isn't willing to deal with that past in open, healthy ways, then that past will manifest itself in unhealthy, hurtful and sometimes abusive ways.

When asked, what women say they want in a man rarely has any significant relationship to who they end up dating. I don't know if the same is true for men, but it wouldn't surprise me.

I have a much better idea of what sort of person I'm compatible with than I did 10 or 15 years ago, but I don't suppose those lessons are applicable to others.

[begin_within]

39. Oh I've been through that one.

An abusive relationship is the worst possible kind and oddly is sometimes very difficult to get out of (fear of retaliation, or being hooked on the tiny bit of good that you do get, etc.)

[bullwinkle428]

61. Perhaps the best post in a thread full of good ones!

Especially the part about those who haven't sufficiently dealt with an abusive past. I honestly believe that was exactly what led to the downfall of all three long-term (multi-year) relationships I've had in my life to this point...

[Lucian]

40. Never date, and fall in love with, a married woman.

No good can come out of it. :(

[elleng]

41. DON'T DO IT!

:rofl:

[Lorien]

60. +1.

[Danger Mouse]

42. I am drawn to women that are bad for me and I am bad for.

That I am self-destructive in relationships.

That I can't really open up to anybody.

[ismnotwasm]

44. Love and passion does co-exist

in long term relationships. In ours, at least it sure does. (I'll try not to gross out the grandkids though)

[miscsoc]

46. all women are bitches

I SEE THE TRUTH

my reasoning is as follows:

1. women have broken up with me

2. i am awesome

3. therefore, these women must hate what is awesome

4. ergo, they are ballbreaking bitches and i am better off without them and they didn't understand me anyway and

[MrsBrady]

59. you say

bitch like it's a bad thing :sarcasm: :rofl:

[MajorChode]

49. Women enter relationships expecting the guy to change...

and he doesn't. Men enter relationships expecting the woman won't change, and she does.

The only way they last is if both figure out a way to put up with each others shit.

[MrsBrady]

58. boy ain't that the truth

I knew my husband was a messy (almost total slob) guy before I married him.

It drives me nuts, but I already knew he was like this. So I can't say I didn't know what I was getting into.
He's also a wonderful, talented, sweet, handsome, generous person.

I've put up with much worse in the past. So I figured I'd rather put up with a mess, than with a guy who IS a mess.



And he knew I was an opinionated bitch when he married me...:spank: :rofl: :thumbsup: .....so, yea...it works both ways


edit: personalities really won't change that much....jobs, money, interests probably will....have to adapt to both. my two cents

[HipChick]

50. Sometimes men's maturity age does not supersede their shoe size

[kwassa]

51. the level of reward corresponds to the level of commitment

If you do completely commit, you may get hurt, but if you don't, you will get little at all.

the depth of the pain after a break-up reflects the depth of commitment.

by committing one learns, for better and for worse.

Some very good and very valuable relationships are temporary. Some are good for years, and then end, and this does not lessen their importance.

We learn from past relationships, and make better quality mistakes the next time. The downside is that it further limits the dating pool.

[begin_within]

52. good stuff

[AllenVanAllen]

54. I've learned you can't change the other

you can only change yourself.

[velvet]

55. If someone wants out

... don't try and persuade them to stay. Tell them how you feel, sure, let them know you're hurt and disappointed, because everyone should face the consequences of their actions and if you don't tell them you'll prolong your own agony brooding on it after they're gone, it will take you that much longer to get over it. But don't use your pain to get them to change their mind. Even if they do it'll only be temporary and the relationship will go to shit anyway.

What about you, OP? What did you learn?

[begin_within]

56. Oh god no...

Well...
That you can't make someone desire you. Either they do or they don't.
That men are like spare parts. You just go and get a new one.
That when one person quits the relationship, the relationship is over no matter what.
That when the guy has his orgasm, the sex is over no matter what.
That having a "crush" on someone is just fantasy, and when it collides with reality, the crush always loses.
No matter how fantastic or wonderful you think the other person is now, the day will come when you think, "Egad. What was I thinking?"
That a good relationship needs regular communication like a plant needs regular water.
That trust is fragile and if broken once is never really the same after that.
That you don't always have to "do something together." If it's a good relationship you can just enjoy doing nothing together.
That putting your happiness in someone else's control is always a huge mistake.
That you can never totally, completely forget someone that you had some feelings for at one time.
The Spice Girls' claim that "friendship never ends" is a myth. Friendships often end, for various reasons.
That everything is temporary. Nothing is permanent. Even Mt. Everest is temporary.

[velvet]

68. oh god yes

Marry me!

[RadiationTherapy]

57. Constant vigilance.

They're all always looking at her, but she's MINE ALL MINE! RAAAWWWWR!

[elocs]

63. Well, I have finally learned that I need to avoid relationships at all costs.

I just wish it had not taken 57 years to learn that.

[Fire Walk With Me]

64. Stop.

[Taverner]

65. My 10 lessons:

1 - If she's crazy, let her go
2 - If she pulls a gun on you, let her go
3 - If she speaks longingly about the Antebellum South, let her go
4 - If you let her go and she tries to kill you - run
5 - If she watches "War of the Roses" and sides with either side, let her go
6 - If she tries to kill herself for you - don't just let her go - drop ALL contact
7 - If she is in a rock band, and she has talent, do NOT let her go
8 - If she is amazingly intelligent and has a good heart, do NOT let her go
9 - If she is amazingly intelligent and has an EVIL heart, LET HER GO!!!
10 - My advice is worthless....


-------------------------------

[Crystal Clarity]

67. Beware of men who hate their mothers. eom

[raccoon]

76. Run like the devil is after you from such a man! nt

[hippywife]

69. If you don't value yourself...

no one else will value you, either. :hi:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

72. Never fuck anybody who's crazier than you are.

[Forkboy]

78. Replace "never" with "always".

:evilgrin:

[NNadir]

73. What it really means to love someone.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

74. Avoid highly critical, control freak men.

They can destroy you...literally. I almost got nagged to death. I got nagged into the hospital and chronic illness for seven or eight years.

This goes along with having a momma that puts them on a pedestal, waited on their daddy, and expects the boy's wife/girlfriend to be a doormat and wait on him. Not my kind of thing.

Mom and Dad never told me to stand up for myself, so I thought I had to put up with negative, judgmental men who decided they had to "help" me because I was such a terrible person.

And if they are a sociopath, and think everything you do is wrong, then you must be doing it to them DELIBERATELY, because the SUN revolves around THEM.

Idiots. :banghead:

[roscoeroscoe]

75. never marry a woman named debbie

that will protect you to a great degree :)