Would you: Have an Affair with an Ex?

[Nuclear Unicorn]

The sex was good...I mean really--really good...but you just fight too much when shacking up together.

So do you stay separate and just knock boots or try to move on even though your hand is getting tired?

[dawg]

1. I'll bet the answer is no.

I'm sure that is what all the smart people will tell you. I, on the other hand, am going through all kinds of weird shit right now, so I just don't know. I would probably do it, as long as no one else got hurt (but me) :(

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. no.

[unpossibles]

3. no

assuming "affair" implies that one or both of you are in a relationship. Otherwise, I suppose I have had post-breakup nookie, but that is a different animal.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

6. He's in a relationship but...

...she's a total cookie-cutter-blonde-haired-dark-rooted-Stepford-wife-that-won't-do-THAT-cuz-its-dirty-but-let's-make-dinner-for-your-boss-and-invite-him-to-church-up-tight-little-prig-bitch.

Can't say as I'm very fond of her.

He's miserable and I can tell. If we hooked-up and she found out it'd be the best thing that ever happened to him. If not it'd still be the best sex either of us ever has.

[unpossibles]

10. that does make it more understandable

but that said, he should probably just end it with her.

[rug]

17. Won't do what?

[Nuclear Unicorn]

22. Nice try but I don't want ANOTHER thread locked

:P

[noamnety]

40. It sounds like he's better off

with you being an ex.

If you're thinking it's at all your place to decide who he should or shouldn't see, or that he'd be glad if you acting the part of the homewrecker for him, he's better off without you in his life. Do him that favor.

[Taverner]

4. Depends on the Ex and if I'm married or not

[arbusto_baboso]

5. IF both parties were clear about the terms and agreed to them...

And IF both parties were mature enough to be trusted to comply with the terms, then sure.

But if you figure that an ex will NOT be okay with being just a booty call and will want to force things back into a relationship, then it's wrong to even try going there.

[dugaresa]

7. no

move on.
what sounds like trouble, will be trouble.
if he is unhappy then he has to fix what makes him unhappy.
you may not like who he is with, but do you want to hurt her?

[Nuclear Unicorn]

9. "...do you want to hurt her?"

It wouldn't bother me in the least.

I'm not that way about everybody. If he was happy I'd probably cry a lot and move on.

But not this girl.

[LeftyMom]

8. Not if he were the last psycho on earth.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

11. psychos = bad

[Love Bug]

12. HELL no. There's a reason why he's an ex!

[Nuclear Unicorn]

14. Mostly my fault

We're political polar opposites.

He never preached politics to me but I have to admit I made his life rough. In fact, I was kind of mean at times.

If I had known this would be the kind of girl he would end up with I would have bitten my tongue more.

It's one thing to see someone you care about leave you and be happy. It seems it's something else to see them leave and be miserable and you're the reason they left but you still want them back.

[Lilith Velkor]

18. Run away!

This can only end in tears. He is setting you up to be the bad guy so he can cut off all contact. Head it off at the pass.

Find a new fuck buddy if you really needz the sexytiem.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

19. How is he setting me up when I'm the one trying to seduce him?

And I tried finding a couple of new guys and they were disasters.

I want mine back.

[Forkboy]

13. An affair assumes I'd be currently with someone, so no in that case.

But I have had sex with many ex-girlfriends after we've broken up, sometimes immediately after, sometimes years later. It's all good. :)

[Roon]

15. We weaned off of each other

We would meet up less and less as time went on until we just stopped seeing each other.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

21. *giggle*

You said, "wean."

[Roon]

27. lmao!

stepped down, then..lol

[Iggo]

16. Most of 'em? No.

But about a half-dozen of them...hell yes!

[flvegan]

20. I'm on good terms with my exes.

However, an "affair" means I'm cheating on someone with her, so that would be a hell no. However, your second sentence indicates that I'd not be. So, were I not in a relationship I might consider it with a couple of them if they threw themselves at me. I wouldn't pursue/initiate it, that's for sure.

[Fire Walk With Me]

23. "You Can Never Go Home."

[Brickbat]

24. Girl, get yourself a vibrator.

Then your hand doesn't get tired. I'm just sayin'.

Look, he's not going to let you in the way you want, and you're not going to change to make the fighting stop. You can get sex -- and I mean GOOD SEX -- elsewhere. You'll find it. Trust me. He's not the only one who'll curl your toes. Not only that, there are guys out there who will make you squeal AND discuss the finer points of liberal ideology. I'm not even kidding.

[NewJeffCT]

25. well, since I'm married... no

However, if we were both single (I haven't heard from my ex-wife since about a year after we divorced...) I would *consider* a one night stand, or a weekend sort of thing.

[seaglass]

26. Maybe you should think about how you'd feel if he was with you and she was asking this question.

That might be a good guide for your decision.

If he's telling you what she will and won't do in bed while he's still with her he's an asshole and I'd suggest staying away.

[Darth_Kitten]

28. Depends....whose ex?

:evilgrin:

[Brickbat]

29. Also, if he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you.

You're worth better, hon.

[UTUSN]

30. Neh. Sex is cheap. He's using you. Moving on is exquisite. n/t

[Lindsey]

31. I'm a lesbian and I've had sex with several ex's. I think it's pretty

common in my circle.

[Old Troop]

32. I guess I'd need an ex first

[Bucky]

33. Hey, nobody said it had to be YOUR ex.

[seabeyond]

34. i wonder what he said behind your back, when fuckin on you, as his excuse

for being oh so unhappy

i wonder what he will say behind your back.... once he has fucked you, and stays with his current.

spots really dont change

we like to create a fantasy we are special... and that behavior wasn't done unto us

[Chan790]

35. Never been married.

I've only really had 1 serious relationship and she'd be an unequivocal no f*cking way...the last time I saw her in person I informed her I was too polite to throw her off the Ben Franklin Bridge in Philadelphia. (We were standing on said bridge.)

The other 70 or so women I've dated casually over 15 years of sexual activity...most of them, yeah. Why not as long as everybody knew the deal going into it and wasn't going to get hurt? It's fun.

[A-Long-Little-Doggie]

36. Umm...

No :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[A-Long-Little-Doggie]

37. delete

[catzies]

38. Been there done that. And ten years later we got back together. Been 5 years now. n/t

[old mark]

39. I did that once with my ex, and it was a grave mistake, even though

the sex was good, nothing else was...


mark