I used to think, "Who cares what people think about HOW I died... I'll be dead".

[MiddleFingerMom]

.
That's when I was young and innocent -- earlier today BEFORE
I happened to read THIS.
.
I could've gone the rest of my life without reading the last line.
.
You've been duly warned.
.
Turn back now... while you still have time.
.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2954500/Chef-dies-after-feeling-eel.html?OTC-RSS
.

[miscsoc]

1. some "prank"

yes the last line is appaling. it's in the sun so hopefully it's not true but either way it is already destined to be an urban legend.

[MilesColtrane]

2. Just another reason everyone should have a close friend designated as "The Cleaner"...

in case of death by misadventure.

No one wants their family to see the words, "Breakin' Two: Electric Boogaloo" in their obituary.

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. Oh, dear God! Please let him have stayed passed out through all of that.

[Radical Activist]

4. How in the hell am I supposed to get that thought out of my mind before bed?

[kimi]

5. Oh my goodness

I should have heeded your advice, MFM.

[tango-tee]

6. And I was going to have fish for dinner.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Pondering this.... Just *how* do you stuff a fish into somebody's... aww, forget it.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

7. Hey, meat's meat...and an eel's gotta eat.

[Kali]

8. damn,

at our parties we just used sharpies on passed out drunks, those are some hard core SOBs:scared:

[MiddleFingerMom]

9. The second Regimental Surgeon I worked for in Nurnberg...

.
...was a decent enough guy, if a little elitist and a little
nerdy. He was on duty at the American military hospital ER
when a car pulled up near the guard shack at the front gate
and dumped some guy out of the back door and took off.
.
A German civilian with EXTREME abdominal pains -- and VERY
vague and uncommunicative about his condition. After x-rays,
it was determined that a sex toy had been lodged deep inside
of him (eventually he used the "I was very drunk and fell down
and accidentally sat on it" excuse that's ALWAYS used in cases
involving weird insertions).
.
When our boss was telling us this story, his eyes got about as
big as that toy must have been, and it was hilarious to SEE him
say, almost in awe... "IT WAS THE BIGGEST GODDAMN THING
YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE", while making the standard
cliche "fish-that-got-away" measurement with his hands.
.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
.

[tango-tee]

12. Oh, now I remember! Merrell Barracks - 2nd ACR?

Do I remember correctly?

[tango-tee]

15. Coming from some EMT friends,

there was the guy who showed up at the emergency room emitting buzzing sounds. Toy stuck in his rear, unable to retrieve it. Brand new batteries. Poor fellow sat there, buzzing away.

Young woman with giant ripe strawberry lodged in her... well you know where... Boyfriend was supposed to "pick it". With dismal results.

I suppose for those of us who aren't in the position where medical personnel have to retrieve produce and battery-powered gadgets from our body's cavities this might seem pretty damn funny. But holy hell, just imagine... there you are...

[MiddleFingerMom]

16. Yes... Merrell Barracks AND 2nd ACR...

.
...and what the hell are you taking to retain such a remarkable memory?!?!?
.
.
My personal experience with embarrassing "personal" injury was the night I was
on duty as the emergency medic at Merrell Barracks' dispensary and the soldier
walked in very drunk. He had managed to (ahem) "catch himself" in his zipper
when he zipped it back up.
.
Caught hisself REAL GOOD!!!!
.
He had cut away most of the original jeans and put another pair of pants on
before coming in to see me.
.
I knew what had to be done... but I didn't know the extent of the damage THAT
might cause in itself nor the potential for bleeding and, though I'd put in MANY
sutures in my day, didn't feel safe doing that without some sort of backup or
ambulance driver nearby.
.
So, I sent him to the ER (15 min quick drive away) via a regular driver and
called the hospital to tell them what to expect.
.
"Look," says I, "I know it's April Fool's Day (it really was - MFM), but this
is no shit." And I described the problem.
.
The medic on the other end started laughing so hard, he dropped the phone.
As he was retrieving it, I heard him saying to others, "Oh... you just GOTTA
hear THIS one!!!"
.
He got back on and very professionally thanked me for the heads-up.
.
That was perhaps the FUNNIEST injury I ever had to deal with (and the one
most vicariously suffered along with -- decades later I do believe I'm STILL
retracting into the ol' turtle shell!!!!)
.

[tango-tee]

18. Ouch, ouch, ouch!

And that's a GIRL talking!!

[rug]

10. How do you think the eel feels?

[XemaSab]

11. That is HORRIFIC

:o

[tango-tee]

13. I keep wondering just *how* anyone could shove a live eel into such a tight muscle?

I have a rough time believing this story. Still... OMG.

[supernova]

14. If I wasn't awake before...

I am now!

:crazy: :wow:

I really hope he didn't wake up through that.

And incredibly nasty pun. Shame on you Sun!

[nickinSTL]

17. the Sun has no shame

n/t

[Old Troop]

19. To say that's perverse is an understatement

Great friends he had

[tango-tee]

20. Good Lord, I'm right along with you in that assessment.

If this is indeed what it appears to be... with friend like those, you don't need enemies.

But you might need enemas. Sorry, sorry.