tibbiit
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 12:25 PM
Original message |
Are there words for middle aged women who are married |
|
Who have 100 friends on facebook, and sit like a spider on the web and chat and flirt with other men? Just wondering if there is a catchy phrase to call these women.
(Since one has disrupted my home) tib
|
Tuesday Afternoon
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 12:32 PM
Response to Original message |
MiddleFingerMom
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 12:34 PM
Response to Original message |
2. With my luck... in another Universe... |
|
. ...where I was married, the name for her would probably be Mrs. MiddleFingerMom. . . . Sorry for the disruption you're going through. That can be very painful and damaging. . I certainly wouldn't make light of THAT. . If it's a serious disruption, some counseling/therapy might be needed and HELPFUL for him/both of you.
|
PassingFair
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 12:42 PM
Response to Original message |
3. The same thing you call the men who flirt with them... |
tibbiit
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 12:46 PM
Response to Original message |
|
its the worst case although her husband doesnt have a clue that i know of. She is 7000 miles away yet my husband wants to go there. Words cant describe the pain of this after 30 years and a life together. This is of course after he went to a 40 year high school reunion. He is trying to recapture his youth. My sorrow is great. tib
|
Patiod
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 08:19 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
|
a very similar thing happened to a good friend, when her husband's old high school girlfriend emailed him and they re-reconnected. very painful.
|
Shell Beau
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
29. Oh no. I am so sorry. That is terrible. |
tango-tee
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 01:24 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
|
...that must really hurt. And I don't know if there is a whole lot you can do, if your husband is off on this recapturing-youth tangent. I only wish I had some wise words of advice.
All I can offer is a sisterly hug.
:hug:
|
Bunny
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 12:46 PM
Response to Original message |
5. It's pretty easy to hide or de-friend people on Facebook. |
|
Perhaps the person who is being disrupted should just do that.
|
dawg
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 03:54 PM
Response to Original message |
|
Edited on Sun May-02-10 03:55 PM by dawg
For the moment, put your hurt aside and lay down the law with your husband. No more contact with this woman or else. You might want to consider getting him away from facebook completely. This is serious business. I have found out the hard way.
Even though this woman is 7000 miles away, he may become addicted to the flirtation and find one that is closer. Your marriage could be over if you don't nip this in the bud.
I wish you all the best.
|
Captain Hilts
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 04:02 PM
Response to Original message |
|
Edited on Sun May-02-10 04:02 PM by Captain Hilts
|
The Velveteen Ocelot
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 04:04 PM
Response to Original message |
elehhhhna
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 04:07 PM
Response to Original message |
seaker
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 09:40 PM
Response to Original message |
|
or maybe, smug...in their own mind. Sorry
|
Name removed
(0 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun May-02-10 11:47 PM
Response to Original message |
|
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
|
skygazer
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 12:16 AM
Response to Original message |
12. I'm sorry you're going through this |
|
But it is your husband who is disrupting your home, not her - it is his choice to accept and respond to her flirtations. That kind of man is one I call a "jerk."
I also agree that you need to draw a line in the sand with him. I'm sorry - this must be very painful for you. :hug:
|
petronius
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 12:29 AM
Response to Original message |
13. Scammers? (Are you sure she is what she claims?) |
|
Or perhaps just total freakin' weirdos. Hope your husband comes to his senses...
|
Skittles
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 01:09 AM
Response to Original message |
14. pathetic comes to mind |
MissMillie
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 07:55 AM
Response to Reply #14 |
15. that's the one that I thought of too |
dawg
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #15 |
20. Pathetic is not the right word. |
|
I'm pathetic. My nineteen-year marriage is over because my wife allowed herself to be lured by a male version of this woman. Predator is the right word to use. But ultimately, my breakup was due to my wife's choices, not the predator's.
|
MissMillie
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
dawg
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 09:38 AM
Response to Reply #22 |
lost-in-nj
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 10:21 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
|
was over by a predator to.... 20 years younger but my ex let it happen.... YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC
believe me there was nothing you or I could do.... nothing.
he is now living with her and raising her tween children the life we already lived nothing new and exciting about that.....
don't be so hard on yourself
it was NOT your fault....
:hug:
lost
|
dawg
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 10:33 AM
Response to Reply #24 |
26. Another hug, thank you! |
|
Edited on Mon May-03-10 10:34 AM by dawg
I know you are right - there is nothing either one of us could have done. FWIW, I don't think my spouse is interested in pursuing any further relationship with this other man. I think she recognized that he wasn't a "keeper" before the affair even started. I don't know why she did what she did. I'm the one pursuing the divorce. I don't know what she really wants. She doesn't really want to talk about it. I worry that she has some unresolved mental health issues that led to this, but perhaps that is just me trying to find a way to excuse her behavior.
We were one of those "best friend" type of couples, and I thought we were very much in love like a couple of kids right up until the day I found out. I still kind of dream that we will somehow end up back together someday - but I don't know how to get there from here. I guess that's why I feel so pathetic.
|
seabeyond
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 10:41 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
|
yes, you are right. and yes, ultimately it is your wife.
and i am sorry, for your pain. that people are so callous to others...
|
peekaloo
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 08:02 AM
Response to Original message |
16. old term for slow typers applies: hunt'n peckers. |
|
Edited on Mon May-03-10 08:03 AM by peekaloo
}(
|
Richardo
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 08:37 AM
Response to Reply #16 |
carlyhippy
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 08:35 AM
Response to Original message |
|
Edited on Mon May-03-10 08:44 AM by carlyhippy
I am so sorry this has happened to you. I have known a couple of people who have left their spouse for someone over the net, every one of them came back home. It never seems to be as good is it sounds. Her husband needs this brought to his attention. Best of luck to you.
|
dawg
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 08:54 AM
Response to Reply #18 |
|
See my post above. Predator is a much better term than pathetic. And you are right that the person on the net never turns out to be as great as the cheating spouse thought they would be. But by the time they figure that out, it's usuallly too late, isn't it?
I'm a real live man, a husband and a father. I have to talk about credit card bills, the kid's problems at school, and how we can't afford a new sofa right now. I'm a good man and I do most of the right things. Stand me up against any other man, and I'll at least be in the running. But I can't compete against imagination, a fantasy, someone that doesn't have to share all of your problems with you, just your stolen moments.
|
seabeyond
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 10:48 AM
Response to Reply #21 |
30. "can't compete against imagination, a fantasy," |
|
dawg.... reading your post, that share so openly, are interesting adn excellent in seeing your perspective.
if one can wlk your journey in a healthy and balanced way, you certainly seem to be doing just that.
|
dawg
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
31. thanks for the kind words, but ... |
|
I feel like I am anything other than healthy and balanced right now. We are still living together as a couple - we don't want our children to know we are splitting up until the school year is over. They both struggle enough as it is.
My emotions are all over the place. I want my old life back so badly, but is that even possible?
|
seabeyond
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
|
that you dont get your old life. but a different life. and that different life can be good. or. the different life can even be better.
|
dawg
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 12:56 PM
Response to Reply #32 |
|
All my friends tell me things will get better for me down the line. They're probably right, although I'm not ready to believe that right now. I hope somebody reads this thread and it stops them from taking that next step down the road towards an affair. Facebook, and the internet in general, is a slipperly slope that allows people to ease into disaster a little bit at a time.
Whether my wife has serious psychological issues or not, I am sure that she would never have chosen to give up her marriage to me in return for a few stolen moments with this guy, if the choice had been presented to her that plainly. But by means of the computer, she was able to ease herself into something that maybe she would have rejected outright otherwise. At least, that is my interpretation of what happened.
|
unpossibles
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 10:28 AM
Response to Original message |
|
I've been poached, and I've had people poached from me, so to speak. I know that ultimately it's up to the person leaving, but it's pretty tacky to actively pursue someone in a relationship.
|
Bucky
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 10:36 AM
Response to Original message |
one_voice
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 12:45 PM
Response to Original message |
|
There are many "words" and "catchy phrases", but I wouldn't repeat them here. :evilgrin:
I'm sorry you're going through this. Don't know why people think the grass is always greener on the other side, usually it's just a bunch of weeds.
Let your husband know how you feel, your anger, and how hurt you are, let him know that what's going on is unacceptable.
Good luck, and stay strong.
|
femmocrat
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon May-03-10 09:28 PM
Response to Original message |
DU
AdBot (1000+ posts) |
Tue May 07th 2024, 03:49 PM
Response to Original message |