So, I'm sworn to secrecy as always with my client confidentiality

[Capn Sunshine]

but dudes, this guy is in my office , he made the appt via his Personal Assistant and MY assistant dutifully wrote it down. So anyway the guy is in my office and the whole time I'm thinking , WHERE have I seen this guy, he totally reminds me of Johnny Depp doing John Waters.

Anyway, I google his name after he's gone (I think he's on board)
and he's THIS FUCKING GUY OMG


I think I'm in love. How awesome do you have to be to make tons of dough selling colon blow?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Capn Sunshine!

Uh, I don't recognize him...

Can you say who he is?

I probably wouldn't know him even if you did tell me his name, lol!

I. Am. Clueless.

:P

[csziggy]

2. Irwin Klee

http://www.infomercial-hell.com/dual-action-cleanse/

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. Thanks........I think!

No, really, thanks.

[csziggy]

6. I couldn't read the whole thing

After the description of his daughter's ca ca I had to quit. :wtf: and :rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

4. Here ya go CP (remember to send my autographed copy of your book)

Dual Action Cleanse with Klee Irwin



http://www.infomercial-hell.com/dual-action-cleanse/

When someone on an infomercial has to repeatedly warn people: "Please excuse the language I am about to use, if it is offensive in any way," you know you are going to be in for a bumpy ride. And in the case of the Dual Action Cleanse infomercial the warnings are well warranted because this program is little more than a half hour of people discussing bowel movements.

Dual Action Cleanse is a colon cleanser product developed by a man named Klee Irwin. The first thing that most channel surfers will notice when they bump into this infomercial is the weirdness of Klee's appearance. Klee looks like he just came from a white trash production of The Rocky Horror Show. Let's hope that the caked-on pancake makeup and black eyeliner was the fault of an over-zealous makeup artist. His limp pseudo-mullet and caterpillar facial hair, however, are more likely Mr. Irwin's own grooming choices. In any case Klee's appearance certainly does nothing to take the edge off his description of fecal matter.

An example of what goes on in this infomercial can be seen when they take the call of a man named Gary who says, "I just don't feel perfect…I feel like something is missing. Do you think this product could help me?"

To which Klee replies, "Gary, let me ask you a question: Do you have kids?"

"...Yes," Gary responds suspiciously.

Klee then asks the question on everyone's mind, "Are your bowel movements the same size and length as theirs are?"

"Absolutely not!" Gary says with conviction.

If this guy is going around measuring and weighing his kids' stools then perhaps he has more serious problems than the state of his colon.

But lest you think Gary some sort of oddball, Klee himself describes the sight of his daughter's ca ca as if it were some sort of religious experience:

I'll never forget the first time I saw my four-year-old daughter's bowel movement in the toilet. It literally scared me. She wasn't more than 45 pounds, but her bowel movement was about as thick as my wrist and about as long as her arm. And I thought, 'Oh my God.' I got scared. I was going to call my wife. I thought, 'How could something that big come of something—a little child—that small. And I thought, I'm six feet tall and I weigh 190 pounds and by proportion to my size compared to hers my bowel movements were very inadequate to say the least.

Now we all know why the phrase "too much information" had to be invented.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear Amerigo Vespucci!

LOL!

Believe me, if and when I have a book, you will receive an autographed one!

Thank you for the info on this interesting man...I think!

I read the link, and I am grossed out!

[Capn Sunshine]

9. he's an infomercial guy

:shrug:

[peekaloo]

7. John Waters has a love child!

That dude totally creeps me out talking about worms and black poop and admiring his daughter's "output".

[rug]

8. Did he use your bathroom?

[Texasgal]

10. What a HILARIOUS web site!

I'm reading about the flo bee and cracking up!

:thumbsup:

[tainted_chimp]

11. My colon just clamped shut....

....and my heart started yodeling.


What the fuck.