What's your favorite line from The Simpsons ever?

[Bossy Monkey]

Though I've always liked it, I never really watched the show all that often. Rupert allergy or something. Mine is from a relatively recent Treehouse of Horror, where Homer said something more or less like: "Kids, are you playing Daddy's theremin?" And you?

[Blue-Jay]

1. "Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket!"

"You don't have to tell me, sir."

[skygazer]

2. Not a line but a sign over a door

In an episode where the family was trying to find Duffman who had gone AWOL and they tracked him down to the Springfield Men's Mission where above the door, it read, "We add God to your misery." :rofl:

[Initech]

14. My favorite Springfield sign:

[mikeSchmuckabee]

44. Can't sleep! Clown'll eat me! Can't sleep! Clown'll eat me!

[Richardo]

57. Gun store: "Bloodbath and Beyond"

:D

[Initech]

126. Relax - that just limits you to 3 handguns or less!

:rofl:

[Arugula Latte]

77. Ha ha ha!

That should be above all church doors. :rofl:

[miscsoc]

128. Flanders' Stupid Left Handed Shop

nt

[peekaloo]

135. Sign from the Candy Convention: Gummi Bears. They hibernate in your colon.

:D

[Initech]

3. Mine is actually from Rev. Lovejoy:

"This strange and evil new cult, the Movementarians, is nothing more than a pack of rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times but first let's pass the collection plate!"

[Mad_Dem_X]

113. "Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions?

They're pretty much all the same." :rofl:

[fishwax]

125. lol -- great line

:rofl:

[underpants]

4. "Not now honey Daddy is on his HIGH HORSE"

Homer offering Krusty fatherhood advise

[underpants]

5. "Don't ask ME how the economy works"

Homer to Ed "Grimey" Grimes

[underpants]

6. Vote Quimby!

Without a Mayor Quimby, our town would really stink.
We wouldn't have a tire yard or a mid-sized roller rink.
Women:
We wouldn't have our gallows, or our shiny Bigfoot traps.
Men:
It's not the mayor's fault...
Singers:
That the stadium collapsed!

[Danger Mouse]

7. Anything in the episode Homer: Bad Man, but especially...

the Hard Copy parody with the segment about the 'Sex Farm for Sex Hookers.'

[JTG of the PRB]

11. "Uh huh, and where do you keep the hookers?"

"Round back... Whoops."

[Danger Mouse]

13. EXACTLY. Kills me everytime.

By the way, I saw a license plate not to long ago that said 'JTG PRB' and thought of you.

What's your username in reference to?

[JTG of the PRB]

17. I swear, it wasn't me, unless I have a secret double life I'm not aware of.

It's just my in initials - JTG - and where home is - the People's Republic of Boulder. I felt it was a little more unique that just jtg33.

[Danger Mouse]

20. Holy crap. Really?

That's a huge coincidence, then!

[JTG of the PRB]

22. I'll say!

Very interesting that you saw that though. That's the last combination I'd expect to see!

[Kutjara]

8. Paraphrasing from memory,...

...the one where Homer asks Bart and Lisa why they believe what they see on TV over what their parents tell them. One of the kids replies, "because TV is more of a parent to us than you've ever been."

[musette_sf]

9. many, but right now it's

"I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords"

[Yavin4]

10. Burns: "Smithers, These Slack Jawed Neandrathals Just Cost Me The Election.

And if I had them killed, I'd be the one going to jail".

Smithers: "You are noble and poetic in defeat sir."

[proteus_lives]

70. Love those two.

:rofl:

[JTG of the PRB]

12. "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college!"

Homer, making yet another rash decision. :rofl:

[Drunken Irishman]

35. The best part is that he just blurts it out at dinner...

And the looks on their faces because no one sees it coming.

[JTG of the PRB]

98. "I don't think any of us expected him to say that..."

:rofl:

Ah... What a show The Simpsons used to be...

[Initech]

15. "My sugar is melting! MELTING!!!"

"A mountain of sugar is too much for one man Marge. I know now why God portions it out into those tiny little packets, and why he lives on a plantation in Hawaii."

[JTG of the PRB]

24. "First you get the sugar, then you get the power, THEN you get the women..."

:rofl:

[Initech]

29. Boy read your town charter. If foodstuufs should touch the ground....

Said foodstuffs shall be turned over to the village idiot! Since I don't see him around, start shoveling!

[pokerfan]

16. Homer, you're going to get us all killed!

Homer: Or die trying!

[Twillig]

18. The sight gag when Marge says:

(in the episode where Homer is time traveling and this is a world where the family doesn't know about donuts)

So Homer splits and Marge says looking out the window:

"Oh, it's raining again."

You may guess what is raining if you want to spoil it for yourself. :-)

[Whisp]

19. i liked the end of the world/alien invasion

or some catatrophic event about to unfold where the Pub people from Moes run to the Church across the street, and the Church goers run to the Pub. haha

[rurallib]

21. The show where Bart has a label maker and labels everything

Homer's feeling low and goes to get a brew from the fridge. The beer has a lbel on it that says 'Bart's'. Homer sighs and says "One beer left and it's Bart's"
I don't know why but that still breaks me up.

[Twillig]

25. That is a good one.

"Ah, beer. My one weakness, my Achilles' heel as it were..."

(different story I know.)

[myrna minx]

72. "To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems." - Homer

[Whisp]

23. Homer is giving Bart advice and has 3 things

that will serve him for life.

Third is 'It was like that when I got here'

I forget what the first 2 are. hah

[Mutley]

26. "That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!"

[Brother Buzz]

31. Even my boogers taste spicy

[blogslut]

27. "There, there, Lisa...

shut up."


And about a million others. Like the delivery when Mr. Burn's said the word "recycling?"

[azmouse]

28. Homer saying:

"Beer. The cause of and the solution to all our problems."

[Initech]

43. No TV and no beer make Homer something something

Go crazy?

DONT MIND IF I DO!!!!!!

[Initech]

30. Dental plan! Lisa needs braces. Dental plan! Lisa needs braces.

[Mendocino]

32. Lisa

'My boyfriend is a level 5 vegetarian, he refuses to eat anything that casts a shadow".

[stevedeshazer]

33. "My cat's breath smells like cat food!" -- Ralph Wiggum

Moe: Say, Barn. Uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?
Barney: Oh ho, oh yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe.
Moe: The results came back today.

[Lex]

39. +1

[Roon]

34. Kearny's kid

I sleep in a drawer!

[Drunken Irishman]

36. "The old Union Pacific doesn't come by here much anymore..."

The train flies by the screen. Then, behind, is the Cat Lady who begins chucking cats at Lisa.

:rofl:

[Drunken Irishman]

37. "Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night...

They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."

[JTG of the PRB]

46. "I gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening."

:rofl:

[Gold Metal Flake]

38. "I'm a brick"

"You smell like dead bunnies"

[MrScorpio]

40. "Mmmm, forbidden donut."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3ZcZ2h4Ths

[nuxvomica]

41. "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were...

...in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!" --Ralph Wiggum

[Dr Morbius]

42. I'm sure it comes from Ralphie. (nt)

[KT2000]

45. "I demand death with dignity.

He is making my insurance rates go up!"

Homer's boss to the doctors after Homer was injured at work.

[fishwax]

47. kids are great, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things that you hate, and

with the internet and all, they practically raise themselves!

[lifesbeautifulmagic]

48. Marge talking to Homer: You SPENT our life savings on a motor-home!!!

Homer: No, I spent our life savings on a down payment for a motor-home....

[abq e streeter]

49. To alcohol ! ... the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems

[abq e streeter]

50. From Bleeding Gums Murphy(probably not exact): But Lisa, the blues aren't for making you feel better

they're for making other people feel worse, and getting paid for it.

[myrna minx]

73. Well, what I'm saying is all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman. - Homer

[Amerigo Vespucci]

51. Smithers: "I think women and sea men don't mix"

Burns: "I KNOW what YOU think."

:rofl:

[wickerwoman]

52. "I for one would like to welcome our new ant overlords."

[JTG of the PRB]

54. "I'd like to remind them that, as a trusted TV personality...

... I would be useful in rounding up other to toil in their underground sugar caves."

:rofl: One of my favorite episodes.

[MilesColtrane]

53. Brockman interviewing scientific expert:

"Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it’s time for our viewers to crack each other’s heads open and feast on the goo inside?"

Expert: "Yes, Kent, I would."

[dawg]

55. Don't blame me ....

I voted for Kodos! :)

[coyote]

56. Say it, Frenchy! Say chowdah! n/t

[Richardo]

58. Wiggum: "Oh man, what a day...."

"...It's no cakewalk being a single parent, juggling a career and family like so many juggling balls... two, I suppose."

[gmoney]

59. "But Marge, New York is a hellhole, and you know how I feel about hellholes!"

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!" - Ralphie

"Ralphie, what is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?" -- Wiggum

"Don't bang your head against the display case. It contains a very rare "Mary Worth" in which she advises a friend to commit suicide." - CBG

There were so many in the early middle years, once they hit their stride.

[unpossibles]

75. that's where I got my name. I like "SEX CAULDREN! I thought they closed that place down!"

or "they stopped making Fudd Beer when all those hillbillies went blind"

"I like Sleep; that's where I'm a Viking!"

So many great lines. I even have a few in my daily repertoire which I had forgotten came from this show.

[foxfeet]

60. "Our beef jerky is 98% rectum-free."

[geardaddy]

66. Apu: I cleaned the hot dog machine.

Homer: Yeah but now I can really taste the hog anus.

[AngryAmish]

61. It's a sign and testament to the never say die, and never think things through, attitude of Springfi

eld.

[AngryAmish]

62. Or Like that day I hit the referee with a whisky bottle - remember that?

[Orrex]

63. "I've always felt that women and seamen don't mix," sez Smithers.

"We know what you think!" barks Burns.

[LynneSin]

64. "Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us!"

:rofl:

[hobbit709]

65. When Flanders is asking God

"Why me Lord. I did everything you wanted me to do. I followed all of your rules-even the ones that contradict each other."

[geardaddy]

67. Flanders: Oh my unicorn!

What have they done to you Gary?!

[6000eliot]

68. Two from Homer: "Florida! That's America's wang!"

and, "Beer: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

[EOTE]

69. Marge: "How are the kids going to get home?"

Homer: "I don't know, the internet?"

Lisa: "Oh no! The dead have risen and they're voting republican!"

[proteus_lives]

71. So many favorites.

Homer: "I don't even believe in Jebus."

Homer: "Save me, Jebus!"

[gmoney]

103. "Jesus, protect me from your followers!"

Not sure if Homer originated that, but it rings true every day.

[Radical Activist]

74. "Maybe Lisa's right about America being the land of opportunity

and maybe Adil has a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers."

[foxfeet]

76. "Please stop feeding peanuts to my God."

Apu, at his wedding, when Homer was feeding the elephant.

[dawg]

84. Classic!

"Ganesh has been subdued."

[smoochpooch]

78. Homer: "The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother!

"I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!"

[MrCoffee]

79. Bonjour, ya cheese eatin' surrender monkeys! - Groundskeeper Willie

[MrCoffee]

80. You don't make friends with salad.

[Fire Walk With Me]

96. Best. Conga Line. Ever.

[geardaddy]

81. Chief Wiggum

Lou: Gee, they look pretty mad.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, I've been starving them, teasing them, singing off key mo me my mo

[Kingofalldems]

82. Homer: 'Stupid sexy Flanders!'

[Initech]

83. But Marge! You being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman!

And I have no interest in that besides occasionally wearing the underwear which as we discussed is strictly a comfort thing.

[RoyGBiv]

85. Commander Cuckoo-Bananas

Homer: Yeah, and if you get kicked out of that one you’re going straight in the army where you’ll be sent straight to America’s latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything’s possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge.

[Ishoutandscream2]

86. Kent Brockman, my favorite newsman

"How do you know we're live? Penis!"

[slay]

87. Doh!

i mean it's just - Doh!

[Starbucks Anarchist]

88. In the Stephen Hawking episode:

Hawking gives a profound speech to unite the town, then after a beat, Homer yells out, "Larry Flynt is right!"

:rofl:

[Fire Walk With Me]

97. "I have come to see your utopia."

:rofl:

[rug]

89. Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.

[Deep13]

90. "What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?" Wiggum to Ralph.

[betharina]

91. grandpa==

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

[JTG of the PRB]

99. Here's a link for you, that's relevant AND political!

http://johnmccainisgrandpa.ytmnd.com/

:rofl:

[gmoney]

104. "Smithers, get me some strikebreakers... the kind we had in the 30s!"

That's the line that preceeds all the old guys in town turning up in their jackboots and stuff to break the strike... great visual gag, and Grandpa's speech is epic.

I still kid my dad sometimes when he talks about old timey stuff with "that was back when nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em?"

[abq e streeter]

92. Homer: But isn't marijuana or "dope" illegal? Dr. Hibbert: Only for those that enjoy it.

[abq e streeter]

93. Stoned Homer listening to Lisa play the sax:

Bart: Dad I thought you didn't like her saxophone.
Homer: I didn't, but now Daddy's special medicine—(raises voice menacingly) which you must never use because it will RUIN YOUR LIFE—let's Daddy see and hear magical things you will never experience. EVER

[abq e streeter]

94. Homer staring at Carmen Electra's chest: :Homer, my face is up here."Homer:"I've made my choice".

[Fire Walk With Me]

95. Either...

...from the episode where the family moves to the beach and Lisa makes friends, who at the end, glue starfish and shells all over the family car...Homer comes out and see it, yelling "SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!"

...or Professor Frink... "Stupid machine, oh wait a minute, this isn't the Monsterometer, it's the Frog Exaggerator Mm-hai."

Frog exaggerator. Bwa!!

[Seneca]

100. Homer to Lisa

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!"

[RagAss]

101. Burns: "Someone tipped off the Federalis"

[eppur_se_muova]

102. Just once I'd like someone to call me "sir" without adding "you're creating a disturbance".

Correction -- FREE blood!

Suspect is hatless, repeat, **hatless**!

[Iggo]

105. "Simpson, eh?" -- Mr. Burns

[suzbaby]

106. Milhouse:

We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.

[suzbaby]

107. Superintendent Chalmers:

“Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

[qnr]

108. "mmmmmmm. Floor pie!" n/t

[Initech]

109. Another great exchange:

Homer: Man I could really go for a hot dog right now.
Marge: Homer, we're at a funeral!
Vendor: HOT DOGS! GET YOUR HOT DOGS HERE!!!
Marge: Do you follow my husband around?
Vendor: Lady he's putting my kids through college!

[He loved Big Brother]

110. "Queen of the harpies! Here's your crown, your majesty!"

The one I say the most anyway.

[miscsoc]

120. lmao i was thinking of that quote today

i dug up the episode. the guy's voice is great.

[Iggo]

111. There was this one episode...

...in which Homer and Burns are stuck in a cabin in the mountains during an avalanche. I don't remember exactly what Burns says (he didn't actually say it...he's thinking it), but it goes something like this:

"He means to kill me and use my corpse as a sled to ride down the mountain to safety! He's CRAZY if that's what he's thinking!"

That one changed my life, man.

[guitar man]

112. "And I think it's ironic that, for once, dad's butt PREVENTED the release of toxic gas

:rofl:

[Mad_Dem_X]

114. "The dead have arisen...and they're voting Republican!"

[Mad_Dem_X]

115. "Hi! I'm Troy McClure!"

God, I miss Phil Hartman.

[Blue_Tires]

117. +1000

most of my favorite lines were said by him (especially the "movies" he once starred in)

Man Versus Nature: The Road To Victory
Dig Your Own Grave and Save
Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun!

[eppur_se_muova]

122. Firecrackers: The Silent Killer

Smoke Yourself Thin!

Get Confident, Stupid!

:rofl:

RIP, Phil.

[Iggo]

130. That one took me two beautiful seconds to process...

...then I had to explain myself to my coworkers.

:spray:

[Wapsie B]

116. "It's beer Marge!"

[CreekDog]

118. Dr. Hibbert: "We've given the word 'mob' a bad name"

from "Whacking Day". :rofl:

[miscsoc]

119. It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

nt

[miscsoc]

121. mendozaaaaaaaaa

see my avatar

[Enrique]

123. 'Sticking together is what good waffles do'

Cook to waitress in the "Thelma and Louise" episode.

[BurtWorm]

124. 'This is not as hot a party as I had aniticipated.'

Spoken by Apu, calling a "party line" and finding three other losers waiting there.

[miscsoc]

127. Smithers: Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre.

Burns: I ought to club them and eat their bones!

[AllenVanAllen]

129. Come on lads! Let's drive them back into the ocean!

Ya' gotta' hand to those dolphins, they just wanted it more. ~ Homer


From Treehouse of Terror XI Night of the Dolphins.

[Sannum]

131. Marge to Bart

"You Know, your Uncle had a saying - Kill em all and let God sort it out. Unfortunately he put that theory to the test. It took 35 Federal Marshalls to bring him down. Now let's never speak of this again"

Later in the episode:
"The lesson is think with your head and not your heart like your Uncle did one grey December morn'"

[JTG of the PRB]

132. "But surely you can't put a price on the lives of your family?"

"I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are."

A sleazy home-security salesman and Homer, upon the revelation that a security system would cost $500. :rofl:

[Release The Hounds]

133. Marge: 'Ooh, that's a good price on 12 lbs of nutmeg'

[peekaloo]

134. Homer: Marge it takes two to lie. One to lie, one to listen.

another from a Treehouse of Horror where Bart's Krusty doll is trying to kill Homer. Homer's in the bath and the doll goes after him so he runs naked from the tub through the kitchen where Patty and Selma are sitting and Patty, upon seeing Homer nude says: "I think I just lost my last lingering thread of heterosexuality." :rofl:

[peekaloo]

136. It's the Rapture!!!! Quick, hide Bart before God comes!

[Coventina]

137. "Ma'am, I have been grossly misinformed about witches"

Bart in "Bart After Dark", a great episode with a lot of great lines.

Homer (speaking with dignity) "I have misplaced my pants"

Bart: "Dad, do I have to brush my teeth?"
Homer: "No, but at least rinse out your mouth with soda."

Marge: "I have rocks at home that need washing."

TV: "It's 11 o'clock, do you know where your children are?"
Homer: "I told you last night, NO!.....Where is Bart? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten."


Homer (yelling to Marge on stage): TAKE IT OFF!

[begin_within]

138. "I told you the death penalty isn't a deterrent!"

[NoGOPZone]

139. Lou Rawls, Secret Agent. "You'll never find, that microfilm of mine." nt

[KittyWampus]

140. the germs on Smithers' face say, "Freemasons run the country"