UndertheOcean
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Wed May-12-10 08:14 PM
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Now , tell the truth , did you love your Mom and Dad equally ? |
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those who claim to do get under my skin , it just doesn't sound truthful , even if both were equally supportive and good to you , it is still human nature to have more affection towards one rather than equally divided affection.
Same thing with parents who claim they love their kids equally , impossible.
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HipChick
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Wed May-12-10 08:16 PM
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I loved my Dad, hated my mum till I was in my late teens... |
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when I needed her the most...now she's my BFF
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graywarrior
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Wed May-12-10 08:16 PM
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1. I went back 'n forth between them |
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They've been gone since 76/77 and lately I've been missing my dad more.
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bigwillq
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Wed May-12-10 08:16 PM
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kayakjohnny
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Wed May-12-10 08:20 PM
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3. In the long run, it actually was pretty equal. |
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For some strange reason, I think it's possible to overlook the shortcomings of either, or both, and to arrive at the place where they can be loved with equal depth and intensity, even though for possibly different reasons.
Especially in retrospect.
Weird question though.
And I think I gave an equally weird answer.
They both loved and nurtured me through life and that's all that ever mattered to me.
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UndertheOcean
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Wed May-12-10 08:22 PM
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4. I keep hearing the word "weird" more often than not whenever I open my mouth. n/t |
kayakjohnny
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Wed May-12-10 08:28 PM
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7. Oh Hell, you should be me then. I get that all the time. |
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Guess what I meant was unconventional and unexpected.
It was actually a thoughtful query.
Just caught me a bit off guard.
The best of postings often do.
Thought-provoking is probably a better term.
I think it may be a touchy subject for many people though.
Cheers.
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mcctatas
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Wed May-12-10 08:25 PM
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5. I think you are over simplifying complex relationships... |
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I closer to one or the other at different times and for different reasons. The same thing goes with my spawn, I could never say that I love one more than the others because I don't, I often like one more than the others or prefer the company of one or another, but I truthfully do love them all equally. I had to give this issue a lot of thought for a paper I wrote in college about a "Sophie's Choice" type situation, no matter how I tried, there was no choice (er go, we all died :scared: ).
That being said, I DO tell them that my favorite child is whichever one is being the quietest at any given moment :P
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Arugula Latte
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Wed May-12-10 08:28 PM
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6. We do that with our kids. "Okay, who wants to be 'The Good Child'?" |
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"You? Okay, fetch me that such and such ..."
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trof
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Wed May-12-10 08:29 PM
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8. Nope. 'Dad' bailed when I was 4. |
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Never laid eyes on him again. Mom pretty much got all my attention and affection from then on. Yes, I'm a momma's boy.
:-)
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struggle4progress
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Wed May-12-10 08:53 PM
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9. Just differently: very different people with different emotional styles. |
Kali
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Wed May-12-10 09:07 PM
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datasuspect
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Wed May-12-10 09:09 PM
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11. my mother was my salvation when i was a child |
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although she was batshit crazy around 1976.
when she had bad symptoms, she'd take me out of school and buy me ice cream.
i didn't realize it was unhealthy, but i liked spending the time with my mom.
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Tuesday Afternoon
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Wed May-12-10 10:20 PM
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Rhythm
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Wed May-12-10 10:33 PM
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My dad was my best friend, and i miss him at least a little every day.
Mom and i barely tolerate each other, and rarely speak. She was abusive as hell when i was a kid... and as a teen i'm sure i gave her a million premature gray hairs.
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WCGreen
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Wed May-12-10 10:35 PM
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14. I grew increasingly indifferent as they continued to battle over |
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trivial matters during a divorce that lasted almost 4 years.
This was back in the 60's when the divorce "Craze" was still located primarily on the Coast and in Vegas...
By the end of that I couldn't tell which one I hated and which one I loved...
Funny, it turned out that I didn't cry at either one's death. Both had pissed me off and both had let me down far too many times for me to choose between the two.
I guess I did love them but in a Phil Donahue sort of way...
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed May-12-10 10:46 PM
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15. Mine are still alive, and I love them both...but differently. |
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I've always been closer to my dad. But Mom and I talk and get along quite well these days. It got a lot easier once I grew up.
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dana_b
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Wed May-12-10 10:49 PM
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16. nope. My mom raised me. Dad - more of a sperm donor n/t |
dalaigh lllama
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Wed May-12-10 11:19 PM
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17. I loved both my parents in different ways |
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I loved my dad for his encouragement of anything we were interested in. I loved my mom cuz she was warm and comforting in any emotional crises.
I don't think you could love anyone equally unless they were clones, but just because you love different things about your relationship with them doesn't necessarily mean you love one more than the other.
Same with my kids -- I've got a son and a daughter. I always tell my son he's my favorite son, and tell my daughter she's my favorite daughter. Love 'em both for very different qualities in each.
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Drunken Irishman
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Wed May-12-10 11:28 PM
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18. Nope. Really don't like my dad. |
tango-tee
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Thu May-13-10 02:31 AM
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19. Loved them both, but in different ways during different times. |
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I was Daddy's girl when I was small, but not because I was his cute little princess. He encouraged me to do things girls at that time weren't supposed to do, allowed me a great deal of freedom, only to freak out once I became a teenager. By that time he wanted to lock me in the basement.
With Mom it was just the opposite... she wanted me to be the little princess when I was small, dressing me like a doll only to freak out because five minutes later I was filthy again, but encouraged me in so many ways during my years of growing into an adult.
Later, once I had a child of my own with all the ups and downs, watched him become an adult in turn, and as Mom and Dad were growing old, it all came together and there is nothing but tremendous affection for both of them.
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supernova
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Thu May-13-10 05:51 AM
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20. I loved them both for different reasons |
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When I was growing up, Mom and I were very close, BFFs, as they say. Dad seemed aloof and emotionally distant. I never knew what he was thinking.
As I got older I realized that Dad didn't love me less and didn't want any less for me. He was just painfully shy and retiring, preferring to let my very gregarious mom speak for him on many occasions.
She and I shared similar interests and activities, but it was my dad who encouraged my interest in politics and daring to follow my passions in life. I sometimes wish I could talk to my Dad and tell him that I understand him better now. Especially since I share some of his same traits and have learned how to integrate them better into my life.
They've been gone since 95/96 and I miss them both dearly at different times. Right now, I may be embarking on a very unique career path. I miss my Dad's trust in my abilities and I miss my mom's "can-do" attitude.
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Book Lover
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Thu May-13-10 07:50 AM
Response to Original message |
21. Actually, yes, I did/do love them both equally |
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You asked for the truth, you got it. Not my fault you don't believe what you hear.
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MissMillie
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Thu May-13-10 10:51 AM
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It's probably because they are very much alike. It is for sure that as we were growing up they had the same goal: take care of the family (which they both worked very hard at inside and outside the home).
I probably talk more to my mom, because we talk most often on the phone, and my dad's hearing is better when he can look you in the face as you're talking to him.
But I love them equally.
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PassingFair
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Thu May-13-10 11:00 AM
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23. My mother is very childish. |
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My father was the type of person who seemed to bring the sunshine into a room when he entered it.
I miss him every day.
My mother drives me crazy. I never realized how much she "sacrificed" for us kids until I realized how self-centered she actually is. Not so much for things, as for attention. She bought the house across the street from me 1 year after my father died from ALS.
When he died, the lights basically went out for her.
The last thing he said to me was to look after her, and that his sister, my aunt, was going to be "my problem now"...
Sarcastic /hilarious to the end.
I have two children and I love them both equally, but for unique reasons.....
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