I think this is getting serious

[Nuclear Unicorn]

I spent a lot of time talking to the "ex" this weekend. He doesn't even seem like the "ex" really.

We talked on the phone until 2am Friday night/Saturday morning. We talked twice more on Saturday. I wanted to see him Saturday night so bad but he wasn't asking to see me and I wasn't sure if I should ask him. It was really kind of strange because when we were together all he wanted to do was see me.

Finally, Sunday I broke down and asked if he would meet me for coffee. He got quiet but finally said he would and truth be told that quiet pause really freaked me out because he seemed reluctant to see me and that crap is never good.

So we met for coffee and we just kept gabbing away. I was really enjoying seeing him again and even though we always talked freely while we were together it was like we were meeting each other for the first time. It was like we had a lifetime of catching up to do even though we had split just a few months ago. We didn't get contentous, we didn't bitch about past boyfriends/girlfriends...we...just..talked.

In a way it was refreshing but in another way I was starting to get...scared(?). He wasn't giving me ANY signals that he wanted to go home with me. Not that he ever gave signals in the past we just either went ot his place or mine. But nothing we talked about had the slightest hint of "that".

Finally the waiter told us they were closing and we left. Still no asking/signals so I leapt first and asked him if he wanted to go home with me.

"Not tonight," he said and you could have knocked me over with a feather. I swear I must have started to have a panic attack right there. Was he passing up sex or was he passing up me?

It must have shown in my face because he just sort of smiled at me and said, "Relax, I'm not going anywhere."

I just grabbed him and started crying. He asked me what was wrong and all I could do was blubber-out that I didn't know why I was crying.

He said he wants me back but if we do end up back together it pretty much means things are serious and he wants to make sure this is what is best for both of us.

He didn't want sex, he wanted...me. I mean, I know he wants sex but this is different. This is new, it's strange and truth be told its kind of awesome. *I* feel different. I feel like I'm special to him and that is strange because I've always felt that since sex is so intimate its how people let each other they're special to each other. But now this is special too.

I know I'm doing a crappy job explaining this but OMG I feel so different inside. Whatever affections I had for him just exploded. I know we're going to "be together" but it just feels like ...ugh, I wish I could find the words.

Now I've got to work on me. He made a very valid point that politics was a means to an end but the end was being with those you care most about without life's ruder intrusions getting in the way but if politics itself gets in the way of that then to hell with politics. I can't say I agree with much of what he believes but I can't really argue with that.

I'm not giving up anything I believe amd he hasn't asked me to and he was blunt when he said he wasn't giving up what he believes "just to get the goo-o-o-ood nookie". (YAY! He said I'm "goo-o-o-ood") We're just not going to let politics be a fighting issue with us. Frankly, I'm sorry it ever did. He said he wanted me more than he wanted my vote and that seems like one helluva "well, DUH!" right about now.

So, we have another phone date tonight...and I can hardly wait to just talk to him.

[seabeyond]

1. i used internet and du to do my rant with repugs, and was respectful

and listened to husband on his views and talk about my views... respectfully. and ranted and raved on internet and du, lol.



"he wanted...me. I mean, I know he wants sex but this is different. This is new, it's strange and truth be told its kind of awesome."

i am sorry this is new to you. it should be a given as all kids grow up. they should KNOW this, feel it, expect it. i am glad you have a taste of it. but it really says soemthing that it is new.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

2. At the expense of sounding mean and disrespectful

...my mom was a total bitch to my dad. She was a sexual tyrant that treated him like dirt until the day she ran off with someone else. Apparently my dad wasn't good enough for her to keep her family together but some other man was good enough to take her away.

My dad later remarried and my step-mom curls his toes. She's a bright and really neat person; so it wasn't my dad. He really is a great guy and he's been my hero all these years raising me and my brother mostly by himself.

I didn't understand things much at the time because I was so young but when I got older to realize what was going on I never wanted to be like my mom. I wasn't gonna be one of those women that uses sex--or the withholding of sex--to get what I want and I wasn't going to be one of those prudes either and truth be told...I like sex. There, I said it.

I feel like I'm still going to get the good stuff but this time it really means something. I dunno it's hard to explain without sounding like an idiot (which I probably am, but oh well).

[seabeyond]

4. hm...

"expense of sounding mean and disrespectful", i am sorry your mom gave you that and i am glad you had a father to respect and i hear what you are saying about your mom.

i am glad your father was free of it to find someone that curls his toes, lol.

i heard a saying so long ago.... if a couples sex life is good it is about 10% of the marriage. if it is bad, it is about 90%. that is not talking about the amount of sex, it is talking about the part sex plays in marriage. good sex, often..... is a very small part of the whole. it has its place along with partnership, friendship, respect, love, ect....

[Nuclear Unicorn]

6. I suppose that really makes a lot of sense

Thank-you

[Nuclear Unicorn]

3. BTW...

...the be respectful with him and rant on DU I think is the best remedy and kind of what I was thinking.

Nice to see great minds think alike...or at least you and I do.

:P

[seabeyond]

5. i am tellin ya

hubby appreciated it. lol.

[dawg]

7. Wow, a whole thread with just two of my favorite DU'ers.

Ooops! Now I've gone and spoiled it. :evilgrin:

[Nuclear Unicorn]

8. Unpossible!

You can't spoil a thing, you can only make it better.

Get over here and let the girls love on ya.

:grouphug: