Today I had to help my very best friend place her ill mother in a nursing home..

[texanwitch]

My best friend has been taking care of her mother in her home but this illness has changed that.

My friend is in tears, and I am having to be strong for her.

It is isn't easy, my father is back at his nursing home recoving from his blood clot.

Her mother doesn't know where she is and doesn't understand why she is there.

Damn, I hate days like this.

I held back my tears until I got home, had to be strong for my friend.

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. I'm really sorry...

It is good that you are there for your friend, but it is indeed very emotional.

I had to do that for my mom when she was in the hospital. She lived on her own, but she kept having flare ups of COPD and ended up in the hospital every few months.

The final time she was in, I went to her apartment, and for a reason I forget, I had to move a cabinet in her dining room.

Well, there must have been 200 pills under the cabinet that she had dropped and never took.

It was then I made the decision to put her in the nursing home. My siblings did not help, and I had no idea what to do. I worked with the hospital social worker and got everything done in a day. I was a wreck and had to keep leaving the hospital room when I told her because I kept choking up.

You are a really good person for helping your friend out. Even though my family did not help, I had a friend travel 5 hours to help me clean her apartment. I owe him a debt of gratitude.

:hug:

[texanwitch]

3. My friend has brothers and sisters who didn't help either.

This is so hard to do even if it is still for the best.

This home is a good one, her Dad left behind a nice life insurance policy to help pay the cost.

My friend's mother had a stroke, maybe she can recover to a degree.

I know what you mean about choking up when dealing you mother.

This wasn't my mother and I was crying.

I am all used up right now.

I am thankful my Dad is doing well, and back with his friends at his home.

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. I'm glad he is doing well too. Sounds like he is happy there? n/t

[texanwitch]

6. The place is great, all homes should be like his.

The waiting list is long.

I was lucky he got in when he did.

[abq e streeter]

2. Something many of us will face as we and our parents get older

and despite the fact that it is so they can(hopefully) get the best care possible, it's still heartbreaking. Best wishes to both you and your friend ( and your parents of course).

[texanwitch]

10. I really lost it when I got home.

I was trying to be brave for my father while he was in the hospital.

Then I helped my friend with her mother, it was just to much.

My Father was very ill, almost died.

I don't know how I held it in until I got home.

The flood gates really opened when I got home.

[one_voice]

5. Wow...

that's rough.

It's so hard when you have to do this. We had to put my granny in a nursing home. We tried to care for her as long as we could but like your friend's mother, my granny had some medical issues. She has Alzheimer's and became very combative.

At first she was scared, and confused and didn't understand why she was living there and not her house. Now, she thinks it was her decision to go there and she likes it.

But, it's heart wrenching to see them like that. I cry after every visit. She looks like my granny, and sounds like my granny but she's just "not there" anymore. Every time I see her it's like I "lose" her all over again. But I make sure I see her a few times a week, even though she's not sure who I am, she's happy to see me. And in my mind, it's good to see her happy for the time I'm there even if she doesn't/won't remember the visit.

Best wishes to you and your family, and to your friend. She's very lucky to have you to lean on for support.

[texanwitch]

7. My Mother has Alzheimer, she doesn't really know me.

Sometimes she does, mostly not.

We were never close but I do visit time to time.

Alzheimer is aliving death, hope they can find a cure.

[elleng]

8. I'm sorry you feel this way,

but I expect (hope) that you all will recognize this is good, for her and for the family.

:)

[elleng]

dupe

sorry

[elleng]

9. dupe

[Odin2005]

11. That sucks!

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. :^( What a sad and difficult experience.

[fizzgig]

13. thank you for being such a wonderful friend

:hug:

i'm sure it meant the world to her. you're solid good people, tw.