For those of you not familiar with water pills...

[MiddleFingerMom]

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...they (ahem) flush the excess fluids from your body.
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Cheap and one of the more effective drugs out there --
they lower the blood pressure wonderfully (I had imminent
stroke-level BP for a while).
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Bad side-effect? If I take it at night, I'm up-and-down
ALL night long -- and not in a GOOD way. Bathroom trips
every hour or so -- and sometimes RUNNING is a good idea.
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If I take it in the morning, it affects my job performance
(heavily time-monitored).
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They help keep me healthy, so I've adjusted to those two
relatively (considering the alternative) inconveniences.
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I call them my "YOUGONOW!!!!!!!!" pills.
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Any other fun/funny side effects out there?
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I'm REALLY in the mood for a good flatulence story or two.
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Of course... I'm ALWAYS in the mood for a good flatulence
story or two.
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[Kali]

1. I made fettuccine alfredo with chicken and broccoli last night

um, broccoli

bbbbbbbbroccoli

knowutimean?

[MiddleFingerMom]

9. When I think about meals out at the ranch...

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...I think of rancher grub like bbbbeans... and
bbbbroccoli... and hard-bbbboiled eggs.... and
bbbbeer (at least in spirit).
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And I think about how grateful I am that you live
just far enough away that I don't have to struggle
desperately to come up with some other reason
than the truth to turn down any invitation from
you to join your family for bbbbreakfast.
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bbbbuh-bbbbye.
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:rofl:
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[Kali]

17. there is a fresh

ppppppppot of bbbbbbeans bbbbubbbbbbling away on the stove right now!

Beans, it's what's for dinner!

[flvegan]

2. I prefer dandelion over commercial "water pills"

Easier on the internals.

[Love Bug]

3. Not a flatulance story, but one about getting a colonoscopy

I'll spare you the grisly details, but part of the prep for the test was drinking a gallon of this horrible concoction named "Go-Lytely." Sure, you do. Yep, 'cause going "lightly" is the goal... x(

[Aristus]

4. When I worked in a digestive disease clinic, we called it 'swamp water.'

Nine more years before I'm due for my baseline colonoscopy. Not looking forward to it...

[Love Bug]

15. The prep was far worse than the procedure.

The colonoscopy was NBD, actually. I got to watch on the screen. Hopefully, that'll be the closest I ever get to having my head up my ass! :D

[marzipanni]

5. l'm so glad I've never tried Pringles fat free chips

(craigslist warning re: Pringles fat-free chips)
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5571455

[MiddleFingerMom]

7. I have not laughed THAT hard...

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...since I can't remember when.
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> "THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is"
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I'm cryin' my eyes out here!!!!!
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Thank you!!!!
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[JustABozoOnThisBus]

11. Airline personnel sell Pringles

First, they push the cart up and down the aisle, selling Pringles to anyone who's got a couple of bucks.

Then, they block the aisle with the cart so nobody can get to the head.

Odd sense of humor, those airline attendants.

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

13. omg - even funnier than the Ryan Steakhouse one

jeeziz. :rofl:

[seaker]

6. Timely

Too complecated to write in a pithy manner but your timing is perfect.
Thank you...they say like minds gather...Love the lounge for that alone!:bounce:

[Tobin S.]

8. Not pills, but milk. Lactose intolerance.

A pint of regular milk will give me horrid gas for several hours. One time when I was driving a truck as a part of a team, my co-driver ate something that caused him to just about fart me out of the truck. To get back at him I drank a quart of milk. He didn't do that again.

[Patiod]

16. You are so lucky that you're ABLE to fart after lactose

My belly just swells up painfully, but nothing gets out. Nothing. It hurts like hell.

[MiddleFingerMom]

18. What I wouldn't give...

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to have THAT weapon in my arsenal.
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"Don't mess with MiddleFingerMom. He is LITERALLY a... bad... ass.
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:nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :cry: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke:
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[REP]

10. I take 120mg Lasix before I go to bed and sleep through the night

Kidney disease is so much FUN.

When I get up, I take another 120mg. Yes, those are very large doses, but not for nephrotic patients. My blood pressure is fine, but I'm at risk for pulmonary edema (drowning in my own body fluids).

[Minimus]

12. I take a fluid pill and the only time I have an issue is when I miss a dose.

As long as I take the pills routinely and get the excess fluid out then I only output what was input. I have learned from experience never to take my fluid pill, get in my car and start driving somewhere, and then guzzle a bottle of water. :blush:

[hobbit709]

14. The Lasix is calling me.