a friend of mine is in hospice

[Kali]

Nancy was kind of a pioneer around here. I first met her a few years ago wehn I started attending meetings of a new watershed group in my area. After the organization got up and running she and I were officers on the board. She was a vivacious petite lady in her late 70's. Farm background, Iowa I believe. She had been an emergency room nurse and after retirement did a little tax and bookkeeping work for people and a couple of local groups/organizations. She and her partner had bought property and moved to the rural area west of Benson that had been subdivided into 40 acre lots. They raised goats and had a big garden from what I can tell, she was still gardening this spring.

I don't know what vibes I gave off but she confided to me right away that she was a lesbian. Later when she found out I had ties to the community station in Tucson we connected a little more as she kept books for another couple, one of whom had been a programmer at the station. The odd circles in life. This couple had moved to Winslow AZ (and eventually got into politics up there), but they were good friends with somebody else once connected to the station - my friend MiddleFingerMom.

Anyway Nancy once told me of the harassment she and her partner got from one of their rednecked freeper type neighbors and how she worried they might do something to her dogs. I am planning to find out what happened to them since she got sick and if they need a home I think I will be taking them in.

She was a cool lady from another generation, and I really liked and admired her. She was into some spiritual stuff so if any feel like giving a stranger a "safe passage" thought it might make a difference.

thanks

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Safe passage to your friend Nancy, my dear Kali...

What a cool person!

I hope you can keep anything bad from happening to those dogs...

[Kali]

5. thanks Peggy

I knew she was quite ill, but I just got the call that she was probably passing today. I was at the Dr's (again! geez what a lot of run around, I think I'm going to the cow vet from now on - hell he comes out for $50) and a mutual friend had left a message on my phone. I called and asked if I should go see her but it seemed not to be something that would be helpful (because I would have, been there for several deaths - it really doesn't bother me as it is a part of life too) but I have just been thinking of her and wondering if or what will be in the local paper about her. Wondering if I could write SOMETHING that would honor her in the community. Because even though a lot would reject her sexuality it just seems important for them to see she was a normal good person just like most of them are.

I don't know, I suck at translating all the thoughts and feelings and I don't want to turn things onto a political "lesson" either. I guess I will wait and see what happens and then decide. I just needed to try to write something tonight because I don't want her to leave unacknowledged.

Sorry for the ramble. I'm kind of tired.

[MiddleFingerMom]

10. Safe and gentle passage to your friend, Nancy.

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Any friend of Sue & Peggy's (and yours) is a friend of mine, indeed.
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Something tells me she's made provisions for her dogs' care, but you never know. I think
you SHOULD check on them and it would be wonderful for them to have YOU if they need you.
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You write better than you know. You know the words and there are times when your heart is
plainly within your words -- illuminating them beyond what's written on the page.
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If you want to bounce it off me for editing purposes -- send it via email. Someone like
Nancy SHOULD be memorialized... and I believe her spirit will feel the good vibes coming
off of what you write.
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[Kali]

11. thanks - sent you a pm

I'm kind of drained, think I will go to sleep early tonight. Enjoy the evening, I should be back around later tomorrow morning.

[MiddleFingerMom]

13. I have a routine lab test early in the morning, but then I'm off for the rest of the day.

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May go to the University and do some picture mining with their screamer computers.
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This stuff don't come easy, folks.
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[Flaxbee]

2. Good vibes and safe passage to Nancy

I hope you can find out what happened to the dogs. Did you know Nancy was ill? She sounds like a neat person.

[Kali]

6. yes she had been missing meetings, was getting some chemo or something

I knew it was pretty serious, so it's not really a shock, just sort of expected to see her again before the end, you know?

I just sent an e-mail asking about the dogs (to the person I think may have been taking care of them lately)

[texanwitch]

3. I am thankful for hospice, a gentle way to pass.

You friend seem to have a great life.

May you friend find a peaceful passage to whatever comes after this life.



:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Kali]

7. thankyou

yes hospice is a good "movement" - they have been so helpful to so many

[abq e streeter]

4. To Nancy--safe passage, and may there be perfect peace and light on the other side.

[Kali]

8. thankyou, good to see you

I need to write our mutual friend again - I have been so busy and I get "stuck" here as a distraction from my real e-mail. Please send greetings again and I will be back in touch in a few days.

[emilyg]

9. Safe journey to Nancy.

[kimi]

12. Ah, safe passage to Nancy, she sounds like a remarkable woman

I'm so sorry about this. Even when you know that someone is coming to the end of their time here with us, it's still a shock in many ways. Peace to you Kali.

[jotsy]

14. She sounds like a treasure Miss Kali.

Unexpected and precious, the ties that bond rather than bind.

Remember something that makes you grin fondly and keep it close for as long as you need it, that's what such recollections are there for.

She'll be in my thoughts.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. peaceful vibes for you and may Nancy have a safe passage...

:grouphug:

[Kali]

16. I heard back about the dogs.

Nancy's sister is down and taking care of selling her property and the animals have been taken care of. I didn't get any specifics but let it be known the offer was longstanding for whenever.

Thanks for you thoughts emilyg, kimi, jotsy, and Tuesday Afternoon.

[jobycom]

17. Safe passage, Nancy. Sounds like you left your mark on a good way on the world

if Kali's reaction to you is any indication.

A friend of mine, one of my bosses for almost 15 years, was just taken off chemo. Lee. A very good, conservative, man. I'm still trying to figure out how to react to it.

[Kali]

20. I guess you have to allow the emotions to flow.

The end of life is mostly sad, but it does make a place to acknowledge a persons existence by others that knew them. That can be a good thing, I think. That is kind of what I was doing. It kind of felt like it needed to be out there some more, Nancy's existence. Hard to explain.

[hippywife]

18. Safe and peaceful passage to Nancy

and love to you, kali, for being there for her and taking care of her pets. Too many times people find out a friend is dying and distance themselves out of fear and sorrow. Helping her along this journey is a selfless thing for you to do. I wish you strength, too.

:hug:

[Kali]

21. thanks

sounds like the pets found someone else before me, but if there is a change in plans I will do what I can.

Death, (like birth!) was pretty scary when I was younger, but I have some experience and much more acceptance now.

[applegrove]

19. vibes to your friend.

[Kali]

22. thanks, applegrove

I think she would appreciate all of these good thoughts.