So, How'd You First Hear about the Birds and the Bees?

[nolabear]

There was this girl in the neighborhood who liked to "hold court" with all the other kids. She was probably ten and I was a little younger. She wore grubby dresses that were too big for her, said she was a witch, and considered her role in our neighborhood constellations to be the font of all knowledge. Man, she told us some of the dumbest stuff you can imagine with an air of absolute certainty. The oldie but goodie about the woman who bought a thrift store wig and when she put it on roaches ran into her ears and ate her brain. I still shudder at her stories about "The Albino People", which is fascinating considering this was in small-town Mississippi. Anyway, as I recall she actually got the facts more or less correct except that she thought there was urine and a stomach involved, and some rather crazy stories involving Spanish Fly, which I don't exactly remember.

And I turned out okay.

[Forkboy]

1. My father sat me down to tell me about that.

When he was done I said, "That's great, now let me tell you about booze and broads."

[Fleshdancer]

2. My mom

I was blessed with a feminist mother who didn't believe in withholding important information from her daughter. I consider myself lucky considering the only thing her mom ever told her regarding the birds and bees was on mom's wedding night when grandma informed her that it was her duty to "lay down and receive the filth". I am not kidding.

[nolabear]

5. OMG No wonder she became a feminist! Glad you had the benefit of her wisdom.

[Kaleva]

35. An elderly lady once told me that when she had asked her mom how babies were made..

the only reply she got was an angry "I don't know!"

[Xipe Totec]

3. OJT n/t

[AsahinaKimi]

4. I was handed a book

On Human Biology, and told to read the third Chapter. If I had any questions, I could submit it in writing. (Yeah, My mom was a Teacher.)

[MajorChode]

7. At least she didn't give you a porno tape

I suspect the questions would have been more detailed.

[AsahinaKimi]

12. Well it might have been more fun

Had it been "Hentai" Anime. Of course, there wasn't much of that back then.

[tigereye]

36. submit it in writing!

:rofl: I have to admit I handed my son a book after a rudimentary lecture, but I am always willing to answer questions. I even signed him up for a sexual education class for teens at the local hospital. Alas it was mostly about disease, but it was a start.

[Maccagirl]

6. At tween slumber parties, natch.

n/t

[femmocrat]

8. My smart-ass older cousin told me.

I was in disbelief.

[sarge43]

9. Got my grubby paws on a copy of Lady Chatterly's Lover.

Well, it was a start.

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. A girl kitteh got cornered by a tom out on the lawn when I was little. Mom explained what

was going on, and then over time started explaining the human equivalent. I also had access to her copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves" which prompted a few questions.

[Texasgal]

11. Judy Blumes book

"forever"

It's amazing I ever figured it out! :rofl:

[Brother Buzz]

13. Busy Bee done hipped me when she laid that sweet honey on my stinger

[nolabear]

14. ROTFL! Can I quote you on that?

[sakabatou]

15. My older brother.

[UTUSN]

16. I wish *somebody* had told me!1 n/t

[velvet]

17. one day in 1963

I said "Mum, mum, tell me about the birds and the bees". Instead, she gave me a book, a slim volume put out by the Catholic church, gravely titled "Youth Looks Ahead". Plenty of diagrams and not one single word about pleasure.

[AwakeAtLast]

18. This will give you an idea of how boring winter on a farm was for me

I read the encyclopedia all the time. Finally got to "S".

[Roon]

23. I read encyclopedias all the time when I was a kid

Now I have the net to read. :-)

[csziggy]

19. A book about horses - seriously, it was on running a stud farm

The librarian did not realize that meant a farm where they keep stallions and bring mares in to be bred. It was detailed, with photos and diagrams of the entire process, including gestation and birth.

Our "sex ed" class in school just told girls how to use sanitary pads. At some point Mom sat me down to talk to me and gratefully quit when she realized that I pretty much had it all figured out.

[nolabear]

26. Reality must have been quite the...er...comedown.

[csziggy]

29. It was satisfactory. 'Nuff said. ;-)

[littlewolf]

20. i grew up on a dairy farm ... it wasn't hard to figure out ... lol

[Roon]

21. I was in first grade when a neighborhood girl told me

I thought it was the most digusting thing I have ever heard and I didn't believe her..lol

[Brickbat]

22. Grew up with "How Babies Are Made" and then when I hit puberty I went through a moral and religious

crisis when I learned what the Catholic Church said about masturbation.

[trackfan]

24. From the other kids at school, in the 3rd or 4th grade.

It took a couple more years to sort out confusion over all the different terms.

[Hayabusa]

25. A Medical Book

I don't remember a specific volume or how old I was, but I pretty much learned about the whole thing through a medical text. My mom sat me down one day and acknowledged the fact that I knew and asked if I had any questions. I didn't.

[timtom]

27. I bought a book

"The Stork Didn't Bring You" by Lois Pemberton. It is available as a free download here:

http://manybooks.net/titles/pembertonlother08stork_didnt_bring_you.html

I just downloaded it to reread it. I thought at the time that it was frank, forthright, and entertaining.

Let's see how I feel about it this time.

[lazarus]

28. my parents told me

I don't remember ever having "the talk", they just told me stuff as I asked, or when it seemed appropriate. So I was never left wondering about the "mystery" of it all. It was never some sort of forbidden knowledge.

I did the same with my daughter, and she's relatively well-adjusted about things at 18.

[jmowreader]

30. Well...

My mom told my dad to tell me the Facts of Life, but to be gentle about it: I was to be told about the Birds and the Bees.

So he came in and asked me, "son, do you remember what you did with those three girls last weekend?"

'Yes, father.'

"And do you remember what you did with the five girls the weekend before that?"

'Yes, father.'

"Well, your mom says birds and bees do that too."

[lovemydog]

31. from a joke

a girl told me in third or fourth grade, involving headlights and cars and garages and driveways.

[applegrove]

32. My mom took me downstairs to the basement and drew a few diagrams on the black board.

My friends filled in the rest when I was about 10 or so. Later on there was a book from my mom, which was called "ad doctor talks to a 9 to 12 year old", which was short on sex and long on the gestation period.

[Kaleva]

33. I thought babies came out of a woman's ass.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

34. From a real slob of a kid who looked and acted like a monkey

He'd walk up to you in the cafeteria and on the days where they had the ice cream scoop of instant mashed potatoes and gravy, he'd take his hand and scoop the potatoes off the plate and smear them all over his face and stand there looking like a moron.

He called applesauce "licklesauce" and did the same thing with that, too.

So he explained how men and women mate in the most vulgar of terms.

He is currently very active on classmates.com. He probably doesn't remember how vile he was in school, or maybe he does. I hope he got the share of ass kickings he deserved, and if he didn't, I hope he will, one day.

[tigereye]

37. hmm, grade 5 in Catholic School - there was a filmstrip involved

Later on we heard a more reasonable version in gym class at the public school junior high. And then I just started to take books out of the library. Let's just say mom and dad had some trouble with the topic! :D

[TrogL]

38. Grade 9 sex ed class

I was too young to be in the class (skipping will do that) and didn't believe a word of it.

Later on read "Everything you want to know about sex but were afraid to ask" and misunderstood half of it.

thank god for porn.

[Art_from_Ark]

39. I don't remember when, exactly

But I do remember thinking it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard of