Pretend that I haven't been to the ER: give me some bad advice after stepping on a piece of glass!

[Orrex]

Note for the Mods: I've already been treated at the ER and started on a course of antibiotics.

[Xipe Totec]

1. Ignore it - it will go away

Just pretend there is no glass.

[GreenPartyVoter]

20. I did that and it worked, except for the occasional twinge when the glass that was

still stuck in the wound got stepped on again. And again.

[foxfeet]

2. After you've stepped on the glass, kneel down to inspect your foot.

And wind up kneeling on another piece of glass. (Happened to my sister when we were kids. She bled like a stuck pig.)

[elehhhhna]

3. apply cold raw meat to the wound to prevent swelling

[Shell Beau]

4. Let it hang around and fester in there. Then with the dirtiest

tweezers you can find, dig in deep and pull it out. Squeeze a buttload of Neosporin in the wound. Good to go.






Really, that sucks though!!

[vixengrl]

5. Vigorously slap the area to dislodge the glass--

rather in the way one gets thick ketchup from a bottle. Don't mind the blood! This is simply proof that your strategy is working, and that your heart is pumping merrily along. It's all quite healthy.

If the blood should prove too worrisome, you can stanch it with old rags or newspapers or other absorbent materials you've been too lazy to recycle (you know who you are!) and use them. This does you the favor of finally recycling these bits of detritus and giving you an excuse to finally pitch them in the track once you're done!

Naturally, there *is* such a thing as losing too much wholesome healthy blood. However, your body makes more from the food and water that you eat! Catch two birds with one stone by seeking out a high-calorie beverage, such as bourbon or rum, to repleish your vital fluids. (This has also been known to have some moderate analgesic effect!)

The one sign to be especially on the lookout for is "greying out" or feeling woozy. If this should happen, drop everything, get behind the wheel, and speed your way to the hospital. One can't be too careful!

[CreekDog]

6. Leave the glass in there but clean it with old newspaper

the print has glycerine in it and is perfect for glass.

[Shell Beau]

Funny you mention that. My car windows are so sparkly clean thanks

to newspaper. You may be on to something. Either he'll have a shiny ass foot (amputated foot maybe, but shiny nonetheless) or that glass will come out pretty as hell. Can't wait to see what happens.

[applegrove]

15. I worked for a man in a Moroccan restaurant 25 years ago who would only allow

us to use newspaper to clean window. He swore by newspaper.

[Shell Beau]

18. I have to say it works. It works better than anything else I've come accross.

Of course, I let my husband do all of the work! I just don't have that elbow grease needed. Ok, that is what I tell him. lol.

[datasuspect]

7. smear it with human feces

making sure to get it in the nooks and crannies within the wound.

[petronius]

8. Don't worry, glass is naturally sterile. It's so smooth that pathogens can't stay on

The same thing applies to metal objects, even including rusted metals...

I'd probably leave it uncovered for a few days so it can breathe, and make sure not to wear socks (shoes are fine).

[Shell Beau]

9. Pee is sterile too. Maybe he could pee on his foot. That would work too.

[vixengrl]

10. It might not do anything for the glass--but it's supposed to be

good for athlete's foot, and who the heck wants athlete's foot *and* a wedge of glass in there?

[Shell Beau]

13. It works on jellyfish stings too, so hopefully he has a one of those

and he gets a two-fer. Sounds awesome. And if he has athlete's feet as well, it is a three-fer. Damn, the wonders of pee.

[petronius]

11. Excellent point! That would be a good way to rinse away the blood.

Although, depending on where the cut is, it might be easier to have someone else do it...

[Shell Beau]

14. Yeah, he may need a friend for this. But I am all about it.

I ain't volunteering though. I think he needs someone who can point better than I can if you catch my drift.

[Orrex]

32. No. Whatever do you mean?

[Shell Beau]

35. Well, I'll put it this way. If you like pee in all directions, I'm your gal.

If you want more "aim", I ain't the one. ;)

[Orrex]

38. I will henceforth think of you whenever I see a garden sprinkler

[xchrom]

52. i hate you -- i just had an image of someone peeing on their foot. on purpose.

:rofl:

[AsahinaKimi]

12. Wear

A BACON bandage.

[MajorChode]

16. I think you've found yet another household use for vinegar

[sarge43]

17. If you don't have vinegar, lemon juice is an excellent alternative. n/t

[Shell Beau]

19. And doesn't smell like,

well, vinegar.

[MajorChode]

26. Good point

If his feet are anything like mine, they smell like potpourri, so it would be a shame to mess that up.

[Shell Beau]

30. Ok, I lol'd at that one! My feet smell like fresh linen.

And vinegar would totally mess that up.

[MajorChode]

22. Lemon juice is not a strong enough antiseptic by itself

You'd need to use copious amounts of salt along with it.

[Orrex]

23. I'll whip up a mixture and apply it to the wound with a turkey baster

[sarge43]

25. True enough. How about onion juice then?

Anything to take his mind off the searing pain of the gash.

[Orrex]

29. I have some habaneros in the fridge--will they work instead?

[Texasgal]

21. Go to your fridge

grab your milk and put in the bowl.

Soak your foot for atleast three hours.

Your cured!

[petronius]

46. Would you believe that some people actually dump out the milk after

using it to treat an injury like that? I've never understood why - it's still perfectly good...

[LaurenG]

24. Easy, pull out the glass, go to the ER barefoot, sign in

and then take a walk through the hospital while you wait, have them page you when it's your turn . Be sure to visit the path lab and the ICU.

Fun and educational!




That must have been a bad cut. I hope you're doing OK now.

[Orrex]

28. Thanks, but don't worry--it was just a shallow puncture

As soon as I felt it go through the bottom of my sole, I took my weight off of that foot so that it wouldn't poke out through the top.

If I'd had any sense of drama, I would have snapped it off with a small piece still lodged in the flesh. 20/20 hindsight, as usual.

[Shell Beau]

36. Come on now! We need more DRAMA!!

Really though, glad you're ok. Glass in the foot is a pain in the ass and the foot.

[LaurenG]

51. yeah think of how it would have looked by halloween!

We could have a theme party centered around your foot!

[Redstone]

27. Whoop some Peroxide on it and apply a Band-Aid.

Always worked for me.

Redstone

[triguy46]

31. Grab your checkbook or credit card.

[cherokeeprogressive]

33. Remove the glass.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

Have a friend pee on it

or maybe that's for sea urchins.

Dunno.

:hi:

[applegrove]

34. Get out the tweezers. Sure it is like trying to find a tiny piece of glass is a steak but don't let

that stop ya!

[Shell Beau]

37. The meatier, the better!!!!

:thumbsup:

[texanwitch]

39. The old fashion way to treat a wound is kerosene.

True.

Don't know how much it hurts.

http://www.endtimesreport.com/homerem.html

[Bunny]

40. Rub dirt in it and take a lap.

Walk it off!

[Generic Brad]

41. It's a good time to try walking on hot coals

The pain from the imbedded glass will keep your mind off the burning flesh.

[Fleshdancer]

42. Walk it off Orrex

if that doesn't work, spray it with windex.

[Lucian]

43. It's just a flesh wound.

[mikeSchmuckabee]

44. I'm gonna say: amputate.

You still have 2 feet now, or have we spoken before?

[Gormy Cuss]

45. Jump in a tub full of iodine. n/t

[struggle4progress]

47. No problem. Just go grab yourself a case of beer. Stuff was invented for moments like this

Seriously: hope you're OK

[quakerboy]

48. Make sure you

step on another piece with the other foot. Symmetry is highly important in the attraction of a suitable mate.

[Orrex]

50. Funny you should mention that:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=6702420

[quakerboy]

62. Well now your just screwn

Your going to have to step on a second rusty nail and a second piece of glass. Symmetry. Im afraid this is going to turn out to be a very painful life for you, friend.

[lovemydog]

49. pray

Because obviously you weren't praying enough.

[LeftishBrit]

53. Drink some yak milk, get some chelation as mercury is the cause of all evils, and vote Republican!

At least that's pretty much what some health sites would tell you to do!

[Bertha Venation]

54. Find yourself a pair of Cruel Shoes

Let's see if anyone gets the reference.

:)

[Orrex]

58. "I like them."

[Liberal Veteran]

61. Apply copious amounts of Drano to dissolve the glass.

[tigereye]

55. you should have looked where you were going!

just kidding. Glad you are ok.

[JonLP24]

56. Use another piece of glass

to try to get the piece of glass out of your foot. I'm thinking of the scene in Talladega Nights where his crew chief uses a knife to pry a knife that is in Ricky Bobby's knee.

[Old Troop]

57. Is the glass still in your foot? If it is, DON'T remove it. You'll bleed out.

[noamnety]

63. Best advice in the thread.

I'd sew it up across the top to make sure the glass stays in, just to be safe.

If you're into recycling, you can reuse your dental floss for this. Functional - and minty! Might help with foot odor.

[JCMach1]

59. put it directly in hot salt water!!!

[gardenista]

60. pound the piece of glass through to the other side of your foot

It will make cleaner wound for later when you fill the hole with compost.

Then, wait about three hours, and get some compost.

Stuff it in there lightly, and then bandage as usual with an oil-soaked rag.

The micro-organisms and the oil particles will go to work together to create a nice environment for your own body's defense mechanisms to get to work.

When your fever reaches about 104, you'll know that you've reached that critical tipping point where it could go either way.

Red streaks going up your leg are always good sign, and be sure, if this happens to post a picture of that on facebook.

[Gormy Cuss]

64. Let the cat lick it. It's a known fact that cats have no germs in their mouths. n/t

[Shell Beau]

65. Dogs too. They have healing powers with each lick.

No bacteria. Dogs mouths are cleaner than human mouths. No joke. :rofl: Totally explains why my dog's mouth smells like raw sewage.

[Gormy Cuss]

66. Raw sewage is antiseptic, right?

:rofl:

[Shell Beau]

67. Definitely. Which is another good answer to the OP.

He can use his cat, who we all know he loves so much, for its lickable curing powers. Glass be gone!! Just like that. :7

[Orrex]

68. I prefer my sewage to be lightly cooked.

[krispos42]

69. Well, you can't leave that thing in there

Best thing is to get some compressed air, stick the nozzle in the wound, and use the air gun to blast the sucker out of there. You'll need both pressure and volume, so crank the compresser up to 120psi and use the big fittings and hose.

Once you've blasted it out, get some table salt to absorb the blood; it's both absorbant and water-soluable. Just pour it right on the wound, then pack it in and wrap with any old rag you have lying around.

:hi: