A dude walks into a bar in Detroit

[Lil Missy]

and asks the barkeep, “What’s the fastest way to get to Dearborn?” “Are you walking or driving?” asks the barkeep. “Driving,” says the dude. “That’s the quickest way,” says the barkeep.


*boom* *tiss*

[Lil Missy]

1. An amnesiac walks into a tavern and asks the bartender,

“Do I come here often?”

[Lil Missy]

2. High Tech Dude

A guy walks into a tavern and sits at the bar. He starts dialing numbers like there's a telephone in his hand, then puts his palm up against his mouth and begins talking.

Shocked, the bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any wise guys in here.

The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying a cell phone."

The bartender says "Prove it."

The guy dials a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender speaks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's amazing!" says the bartender. "I would never have believed it!" "Yes", said the man, "I can keep in touch with my bank, my girlfriend, or anyone.

Then he asked, "where is the men's room?" The bartender points him to the men's room.

The guy goes in and about 20 minutes go by and he doesn't come out. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room to see if the guy is OK.

The guy is spread-eagled against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper sticking out of his butt.

"Oh my God!" says the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you OK?"

The guy turns and says: "No, I'm OK. I'm waiting for a fax."

[UrbScotty]

3. A teabagger walks into a bar...

...and OUCH, does it hurt!

[panader0]

4. A three legged dog walks into an old Western bar

The bartender asks him. "What brings you to these parts?"
He replies, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Can we tell dirty ones too?

[Lil Missy]

5. Sure, as long as it doesn't get the thread locked.

[Initech]

6. I've been to Detroit so many times in the last few years I'm sure I've been to that bar.

[lovemydog]

7. a horse walks into a bar

and the bartender says 'Why the long face?'

[Bombero1956]

8. a mushroom walks into a bar

sits down and orders a beer, the bartender say "we don't serve your kind here" and the mushroom says "why not I'm a fungi".

[Bombero1956]

9. one more

A container of yogurt walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here."

the yogurt says back to him, "Why not? I'm a cultured individual."

[Angleae]

10. So .. A guy walks into a bar

[old mark]

11. Missy, did you hear about the magician who walked down the street

and turned into a bar?


mark