Have to take a drug test: should I use the hilarious "I didn't even study" joke on them?

[Orrex]

[TZ]

1. No- go get one of these

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whizzinator
:rofl:

[Orrex]

3. I want the one autographed and endorsed by Tom Sizemore

[av8rdave]

2. I don't say much when I get my random drug tests, but I can tell you what I'm thinking

"Hey, asswipes! Yeah, you...the ones who say you love the Constitution. F%$# you and the horse you rode in on. Nothing like a search and seizure without a warrant to finish up a trip. Oh yeah, and having to prove I'm innocent. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. I'm not, and I never have been a drug user, but I have to prove it to you. Oh, and I especially like the complete lack of due process if you or the lab f%$# and it comes back positive. Guess you dropped out of high school before you took that civics class, didn't you Einstein? So please don't be offended if a significant portion of my sample winds up all over your face before it dribbles into that cup. Have a nice day!"

That's what I think. What I DO is smile, sign the paperwork, fill their little cup, and thank them for making the process quick.

End of rant. You should hear the guys and gals who have a strong opinion about this stuff!

[baldguy]

4. People who have to guard your pee rarely have a sense of humor.

[blogslut]

5. You should totally wear a t-shirt that says:

"Only users lose drugs"

[madinmaryland]

6. Tell them the cup you were is given is too small as you normally fill one of those cups when

you blow a load.

:P

[Orrex]

12. I have a pal who uses that line @ Starbucks all the time

[whistler162]

7. Nah bring a half eaten poppie seed bagel to the test.

[Liberal Veteran]

8. Ask them what a passing grade is.

[LostInAnomie]

9. Act confused, then take a shit in the cup.

[applegrove]

10. My sister worked as a grounds keeper at a hotel. Sometimes she'd be picking up garbage. Inevitably

some wit would come along and say "how's busines" - LOL! "Picking up!!!!!!!!!" LOL! They hated that.

[Gormy Cuss]

11. Ask for a pencil.

Tell them you forgot yours and can't take the test without it.

[zabet]

13. Tell them

that you pee for enjoyment.....not for employment.

[wickerwoman]

14. Yes. They are profiting off the death of civil liberties in America.

F'em.

:evilgrin: