What have you learned about people in your lifetime?

[Haole Girl]

I have learned that people can be unpredictable.

[mix]

1. Most people are practical intellectually.

If you start there, the possibilities are endless.

[Haole Girl]

4. In my experience, there are only a few true intellectuals

The majority of people could be described as somnambulists.

[mix]

7. I meant practical in their thinking, not necessarily "intellectuals."

Somnambulism is learned and celebrated, sadly, and has to be fought against.

[Haole Girl]

10. You know mix...

I probably could have had this conversation 20 years ago. But I'm afraid my mind is almost as old as my body. Now I'm not even certain what we're discussing! :blush:

[mix]

14. Don't let them sleep their lives away!

wake the world

[Haole Girl]

17. Hey

Good luck with that!

[mix]

22. thanks, i have to believe that

or i couldn't do my job, i really couldn't.

[Haole Girl]

25. What is your job?

Sorry if you've told the Lounge & I've forgotten.

[mix]

27. I'm in education. I teach high school and university history in rural NM.

It is not a topic I speak of online often for professional reasons.

[Haole Girl]

28. Thanks. And I can understand that

My mother was a History professor, btw. :hi:

[mix]

29. I would love to talk about these things, but I just can't.

So I just ramble about history to try to make sense of it all.

:hi:

[petronius]

2. Of the people I have know, the worst of them have some redeeming qualities.

And the best of them have significant flaws.

And all of them have incredibly embarrassing secrets and shortcomings that make me feel better about my own...

[Haole Girl]

5. Great observations

:hi:

[Angel]

3. Never trust anyone

and the only person who can make you happy is yourself.

[Haole Girl]

6. Both..

so very true!

[mix]

9. I need to live around people I can trust.

This is not always possible, but I've been lucky to keep the trust going.

[Dr Morbius]

8. There is a certain class of person.

For all history, and even before, there is a certain class of person who has been constantly searching for an excuse to consider himself (this is, historically, mostly a male conceit) superior.

First it was nobility of blood. Then it was color of skin; eventually "genetic purity" became the excuse (much the same conceit). Then it was who they worshiped, or how often. Economic class. Ethnicity. Intellectual ability. And of course gender; women were always deemed the "weaker" sex (one has to wonder how many women these people knew). Now it's what gender they find appealing, as an excuse to determine themselves superior. It's all a bunch of rot.

If you want to take the measure of a man, look at how he behaves. See how he treats others; then you can tell if this is a "superior" person or not. None of us are "born" better or lesser, or can be said to be "superior" for any reason of talent or birth.

Racism. Sexism. Elitism. All the isms. They all start with this inferiority complex, this strange desire to have some kind of excuse to believe oneself above the others.

[Haole Girl]

11. I've often wondered...

if there were only 2 human beings left on this planet Earth, would one of them kill the other?

[Dr Morbius]

12. If one of them is a Republican, count on it.

That would fit their definition of "winning."

[Haole Girl]

15. lol!

No joke!

[mix]

18. No. nt

[TorchTheWitch]

36. I believe it's ingrained

People, like dogs, wolves and some other species arrange themselves by rank, and the higher the rank the more power and privilege. Power and privilege is more desirable as it improves the likelihood of survival and surviving well.

[Dr Morbius]

37. Then why, prithee, is it that only SOME people do this?

Is it because some people are still animals?

[AngryAmish]

64. No. Everybody does this.

You look down your nose at people who think they are better than you.

And we are still animals. A wet sack of chemicals.

[TorchTheWitch]

70. it isn't just some people

You do it too though you may not realize it. Self-preservation is in all of us, and the privileges and powers of rank have everything to do with that. The higher the rank the better and more plentiful food, the better, more spacious and better protected shelter, the better taken care of by those of lesser rank, the less severe punishment (if any) for wrongdoing, etc. Self-preservation is also within groups - among family, within community and even country because as people are a species that live within a group (and groups within a group within an ever larger group) individual self-presrevation can hinge on the self-preservation of the group (and therefore the group within a group within an ever larger group, etc.).

Incidently, people ARE animals... just a another member of mammals though more intelligent. But still animals non-the-less with the same ingrained instincts to procreate, survive individually and within a group and remain secure with as much comforts as can be obtained.

[Ptah]

13. I have learned that people are good.

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

19. Aww

I'm glad somebody still believes that. :hug:

[Ptah]

21. hug you too.

[rrneck]

16. Very few people

will actually set out to take advantage of you or hurt you. Most of those that do are just scared or incompetent.

[Haole Girl]

20. Just scared or incompetent, huh?

I'm thinking that one over. Thanks.

[Dr Morbius]

23. I believe nine of ten people are good, or try to be.

And I believe nine of ten of the rest can be kept in line by fear of the law. It's that one percent (and those they fool) who cause all the trouble...

[Bennyboy]

24. People: They're the worst.

Seinfeld.

[Haole Girl]

26. Seinfeld and Ptah need to have a meeting

;-)

[old mark]

30. That I mostly prefer the company of a good dog...nt

[mix]

31. now that's some truth nt

[Haole Girl]

32. And don't forget our feline friends!

:-)

[old mark]

35. We do have a cat, too, but she is not social...unless it's lunch time....nt

[Lorien]

55. Around here we call those "furniture cats"

They lay around most of the time like throw pillows, unless it's dinnertime. I had one of those as a kid and I never quite "got" cats because of her. Now I have four highly interactive cats that want to be a part of everything I do, which can be overwhelming at times, but they sure ain't boring!

[Tikki]

33. Listen carefully...the crazy ones always project....

much.


Tikki

[LibDemAlways]

34. Many, but not all, are morons.

[Phentex]

38. They get better with age...

:)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

39. I have learned to be very selective with whom to spend my time. nt

[pink-o]

40. That we still carry the instincts that got us through hard times

back when we were a nascent species. The instincts we're battling against now that our way of living has changed so much. Testosterone and protection of women was necessary back in caveman days, because women were either breeding or nursing. We needed strong men to keep us and our progeny safe. Especially since there was no guarantee that any of your ten children would live long enough to reproduce themselves.

Also xenophobia was necessary, due to the fact that your family, your tribe was not only fighting the elements, but other humans for the meager provisions you might find for food and shelter. So any foreigner was a threat to your well-being and you probably took a club and clobbered the shit out of him in order to keep your family save and sated.

So our evolutionary survival skills are now manifested as racism and sexism and we're caught at the crossroads trying to evolve into a higher consciousness. So what I've learned is that we're the same as we ever were--and change is hard, and the fear of change is what causes most human suffering.

It's why I don't believe in God. No one has ever been able to explain why a "Creator" who's supposed to be so perfect would allow the favored species to suffer so painfully. It makes a lot more sense that we are a work in progress, going through growing pains and reacting against inevitable transformations. Until humans can conquer our basic fear, we'll continue to hurt ourselves and others.

[lovemydog]

41. that everyone has some good and bad

and it's best to try and bring out the good

Also, that only a relatively few matter much to me on a personal level. The rest are kind of like white noise - better to tune them out somewhat.

[femmocrat]

42. I believe that most people are good.

I think they have good intentions, try to do the right thing, and are generally considerate of others.

The a-holes are few and far between, fortunately.

[Lucian]

43. The older I get, I have less faith in humanity.

I also believe that people are stupid, collectively, and they'll never be smart.

And never trust anyone. They'll end up hurting you in the end. The only person you can count on, is yourself.

[Dr Morbius]

44. Are you single?

I have been married for nineteen years and I can absolutely count on my wife. The woman keeps every promise she makes, as do I.

[Lucian]

45. Yeah, I am.

I've been in relationships, but I always get screwed over in the end.

That has left me cynical. I feel like turning into Dr. House's character from the show House.

[Bucky]

46. I've found out most chicks don't like a patronizing attitude, not even the real babes

Pfff, womens... :eyes:

[haele]

47. That they are both good and bad and a little of both -

And are usually more motivated to act in their interests, not yours. They also have their own lives.
And you can't mentally write a script for the way they are going to react, no matter how much you think things would be soo much better for everyone if they just acted the way you wanted them to act.

Haele

[Haole Girl]

48. You are very wise

There were times when I tried to "mentally write a script," as you say.

It never works.

[cherokeeprogressive]

49. I've learned that there are more things I DON'T know about people than things I do.

I love people. I don't hate people, but I dislike them sometimes.

I've learned that even your bestest friend in the whole world can sometimes be counted on to either break your heart or embarrass you terribly with things they might say outside of your presence.

I've learned that even your worst enemy can at times become an important ally, and that sometimes they can go from being an enemy to a most trusted confidante and your bestest friend for the simplest of reasons.

I've learned that two people can only be counted on to keep a secret if one of them is dead.

I've learned that trying to predict human behavior is about as likely to get you somewhere as predicting long-term weather patterns.

I've learned that it's possible to make a person's day with the tiniest of actions, but that some people aren't satisfied until they taste your blood.

I've learned that most people mean well, and that meaning well is totally subjective, and stepping on someone's head isn't out of bounds as a means of achieving the "mean well" goals of some.

Going back to the original point, I've learned that even at 49 years old, I have one hell of a lot to learn about people.

[siligut]

66. Well put.

I've learned that it's possible to make a person's day with the tiniest of actions, but that some people aren't satisfied until they taste your blood.

Agreed! Cultivate friendship with the first, avoid the second like the plague, they are never worth it, ever.

[Aristus]

50. People can be infuriating.

Infuriating to try to figure out.

Nobility and venality exist in one measure or another in everybody.

[lunamagica]

51. That you can never really know anyone. And you can't trust anyone

Not completely.

Had I died even three years ago I wouldn't have such grim views about people. Not that it used to be rainbows and ponies, but I wasn't as bitter as I am now.

Like that old song says

"wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then"

[laundry_queen]

73. That's my recent lesson as well.

Doesn't matter how long you've known someone, or how much you trust them, or whether you're related to them or not, you don't know them. You don't know what they might do. You may not even know what they've done. And you can never trust anyone 100%. The old song was right, that's how I feel.

[Lorien]

52. That you can't make people care about the things

that are really worth caring about.

[hobbit709]

53. On a good day, most of them are candidates for protective restraint.

[Bertha Venation]

54. Take them at face value.

Don't try to figure out what they're thinking, don't project, don't judge. All you can do is take people at face value and be honest, hoping that they're honest in return.

[Heidi]

57. That's exactly how I deal with people I don't know very well.

I don't try to dig a lot deeper unless I get some sign that a person wants to be known on a more intimate level. The "don't judge" part is very difficult for me, because if a person presents to me as a racist, homophobe, animal abuser, religious fascist, etc., my judgment is: "Hateful." And it's all I have in me not to say, "I hate no idea you were so hateful."

I know I shouldn't be like that because there probably are reasons, if one peels back the layers, why folks feel and behave in ways I find harmful, but ours is not a just world (despite all the Oprah-esque pushing of crap like "The Secret") and I don't feel that hateful people are necessarily entitled to my understanding, nor do I presume they're open to enlightenment.

Well, alright then. Glad I got that off my chest. :uff:

[Bertha Venation]

71. That's very tough for me too. I usually don't succeed

when a person is clearly a bigot or some other despicable type. See? I even judge them when there's not a one in sight. :(

What is "The Secret?"

[Heidi]

56. People generally are good and want to do the right thing.

I've also learned that although people generally seem good and seem to want to do the right thing, they often need a crowd around them pushing them to do the right thing and then validating them after they do the right thing.

[RandomThoughts]

58. Validation can be used for good or bad.

But there is a tone to it that you can tell if it is snide or real.

[Heidi]

59. This is just my opinion, so please don't read anything into it that isn't there:

In my experience, _needing_ validation can be slippery slope for a variety of reasons:

1) can make one vulnerable to emotional vampires who prey upon individuals' needs in order to achieve their own aims
2) can breed expectation of additional validation
3) can easily become the core reason, in lieu of genuine compassion or rational thought, for the choices a person makes
4) in many cases has no correlation to reality

[RandomThoughts]

68. Actually that is a poker thing also.

If someone is using validation for manipulation.

Then it is no different then creating a tell someone expects to see, to move them a direction.

Most of the validation I see from posters fits that category. Then again it is not like some post could validate what I choose to do, since it is not based really on getting people to be happy about a post, since their is a trend also of mostly negative tells when I say somethings.

Although as soon as someone sees that, it flips in a good poker player.


So here is the whole thing about getting reads on people or posts. you get thousands of paragraphs of information, and in them every once awhile is a bit of truth that can be seen, a tell of sorts. Most information is noise or not for actual information, but every once in awhile you can pick up a bit of information.


There are 4 or 5 posters here that are pretty consistent, a few others that vary, and the news is all over the place, no consistency at all in that.


That does not mean the paragraphs are wrong, but to validate them requires a tell. Although most are just great thoughts that aren't about validation anyways.

[Haole Girl]

65. Heidi,

I agree. And agree 100% with your response below. It will only lead to more problems when a person needs validation...when they are desperate for it. I've learned this the hard way. The only person we should depend on is ourselves-- ultimately, that's the bottom line.

And, btw, I didn't see your response as snarky at at. And I've learned to spot snark. ;-)

[Heidi]

69. I learned it the hard way, too, gf.

And there was absolutely no snark intended in my post. It was the observation at the top of my mind after reading about all the gay kids who've been taking their lives as a result of bullying. I was thinking about how everything might be different if just one brave person had come to their defense.

:hug:

[elocs]

60. What I've learned about people in my lifetime is that I don't particularly care for people.

I really prefer my own company and enjoy solitude. I could easily live by myself somewhere out in the wilderness.

I think that people who only casually knew me would be surprised by this because I am in no way an introvert. I can strike up conversations with people while waiting and have no trouble talking with total strangers and I can find some common ground with nearly anyone to talk with.

But ultimately I enjoy keeping my life simple and keeping to myself, doing what I want when I want or doing nothing at all. People complicate things and I find that annoying. I am not antisocial, but nonsocial by choice.

[blueamy66]

61. I've learned that too many people

actually care about others and that I do not. :-(

[HERVEPA]

62. That a large percentage lack critical thinking skills. (nt)

[WillParkinson]

63. The good ones are few and far between...

And those are the ones you need to hold on to very tight.

[Mendocino]

67. I only trust in four beings

My wife-absolutely the most wonderful person I've ever met, a true sweetheart.

My son-great kid, I think I learn more from him, than I passed on.

My sister-sometimes I think we are twins, but born six years apart.

and My Siberian Husky-It's said that dogs don't go to heaven, okay when I die I want to go where she's gone.

[av8rdave]

72. I've learned that 90% of people are good

Of the remaining 10%, half are having a bad day. The other half are Glenn Beck fans.