Oklahoma man told cops he "desired prosecution for the theft of his donut"...wait, there's MORE.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Donut-Stealing Urinator Solicited Cop Sex

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/donut-stealing-urinator-solicited-cop-sex

OCTOBER 12--What kind of a person steals a donut from a car, proceeds to pull down her pants and urinate in a parking lot, and, when being questioned by cops, offers to perform a sex act on the officer for $80? Meet Shantell Ishem.



The Oklahoma woman, 27, was nabbed early yesterday morning in connection with a bizarre incident outside a convenience store in Bartlesville, according to an amusing police affidavit.

After pinching the donut from a parked truck, Ishem allegedly relieved herself outside the OnCue convenience store. The vehicle’s owner, Jason Jones, “desired prosecution for the theft of his donut,” cops noted. Ditto store clerk Jeremy Binkley, who wanted Ishem, pictured in the mug shot at right, prosecuted for trespassing.

When apprised that she was under arrest for vehicle burglary, trespassing, and indecent exposure, Ishem “said she understood.” Ishem then noted that she was “sitting on (her) money maker,” and allegedly began propositioning Officer R.S. Detherow. She offered to perform a sex act on the cop for $80, and “became explicit and said that she would ‘speak into the microphone’ and other such metaphors for fellatio.”

[Yeshuah Ben Joseph]

1. Cops take donut theft very seriously

Donuts are a sacred food item to police everywhere.

[HopeHoops]

2. "Not with THAT doughnut breath you don't!"

[struggle4progress]

3. It's not funny: Ms. Ishem really needs some professional help

This is America without adequate social and mental health services

[jobycom]

4. You have to wonder at her mental health and her employment/housing status.

It really doesn't read as funny to me. I just read about a woman who is so hungry she stole a donut, then was so frightened of arrest she offered a sex act in exchange for her freedom. Both hunger and mental illness can make a person do "funny" things.

[Lil Missy]

5. homeless, hungry, mentally ill, or a combination

[rug]

6. "Speak into the microphone."

I'm using that in GD.