Speaking of friends, I came back from visiting my best friend

[La Lioness Priyanka]

who is in the latter stages of breast cancer and have just woken up after sleeping almost 2 days from a combo of jet lag, emotional exhaustion and a lack of sleep.

cancer is a horrific disease, watching someone in that kind of pain is really numbing. Especially one who is so young and not ready to go.

I wish i had come back better resolved about her but i just feel more confused.

[Tobin S.]

1. I remember you posting about her

and telling us that she was not wanting to see anyone, but you decided to go anyway. How did she receive you?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. she cried when she saw me. i stayed with her for 5 days. she barely spoke to me

she spoke to me for a bit when she first saw me, and before i left. many many silences in between. it was pretty harsh

[Tobin S.]

3. Very sad. I hope she understood that you had good intentions.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. she did. i just think she is in too much pain to actually empathize

with others. the pain is very consuming. she did say she wanted to see me for new years eve, so i'll fly down again then

[Deep13]

35. never mind--question answered downthread. *delete* nt

[Fire Walk With Me]

4. And you stayed with her for five days in spite of that.

You aptly demonstrate what a true friend is. I'm so sorry for her and for your pain as well.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. thanks. its certainly not easy watching someone go, its harder

when they are so clammed tight but at the end of the day its our right to choose how we want to go. she did say she wanted to see me for new years eve, so i'll fly down in dec to see her

[Fire Walk With Me]

8. ...

:(:hug:

[driver8]

36. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend...

I lost my father to lung cancer two and a half years ago.

I went home to see him when he was sick, and left knowing that I would never see him again.

Cancer fucking sucks.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

39. It does indeed

[seabeyond]

5. i am sorry. that sounds so hard. nt

[JohnnyLib2]

9. No one could be a better friend.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. Thanks. I wish I didn't have to be though

[bigwillq]

10. You're a good friend.

:hug:

How horrible a situation for your friend. All you can do is be a friend, and it seems you are doing exactly that. :hug:

My best to her.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. Thanks

[krispos42]

11. Welcome back

I wish your trip had been less shitty. :-/

8 thousand miles is a long way to fly to get the silent treatment. :-(

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. Meh. It was better than not seeing her

[applegrove]

12. vibes to your friend.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. Thanks

[Kaleva]

17. You're a model of what a true friend ought to be.

I can think of no words that may bring you peace of mind while you go thru this with your friend other then you have my utmost respect and I feel very badly for the intense suffering your friend is enduring.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

19. thanks, she is taking 1/10th the morphine she should be

for some unknown reason. which is making the pain unbearable.

[hippywife]

25. Maybe she just wants to be

as conscious as possible in the little time she has left. :shrug:

Morphine is a terribly difficult drug to deal with in the amounts she probably is being advised to take.

I'm glad she wants you to come back. I hope you both have a difference experience then.

You really are a good friend, Pri.

[Kaleva]

32. My Dad was on heavy doses of morhpine near the end.

He stayed at home and died in the living room in a bed that was set up for him there. He was born in that house, raised in that house, later raised his own family there and got his wish of passing away at home.

[Deep13]

37. Is that what she wants or are the docs holding out on her?

Why would anyone do that? :(

[Starbucks Anarchist]

18. I'm so sorry to hear this.

:hug: :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

20. ...

:hug:

[hippywife]

21. My condolences, Pri.

I'm so sorry that both of you have to experience this at such a young age. :hug:

I wish you both peace.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. Thanks for the hug. Been so cranky and tired

[lunatica]

23. This is making me cry

For both of you. I think I would be like her if I got cancer. I've always been a 'get the hell away from me' person when I'm sick. It was never about the people around me. It was always about just feeling too shitty to deal with anyone or anything. Don't take it personally. Your friend loves you as much as ever. She just can't deal with your pain too, no matter how much you think you hide it. She knows you feel it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

28. i dont take it personally but i do feel she is making it harder for herself

and its already pretty damned hard

[lunatica]

33. A close friend of mine once verbally attacked me for 'keeping her alive'

Because every time she had to have spinal surgery I was right by her side during her hospital stay. Once, when she was at home for 9 months recovering from having her spine fused she ripped me apart for keeping her alive. She said that it was my fault that she hadn't died on the operating table because I was there. It was very painful. Yet I still wonder if in some way my friendship did actually contribute to her continued pain.

[Ptah]

24. I admire you for being such a true friend.

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

29. ..

:hug:

[NewJeffCT]

26. I'm sorry about your friend

She's just not herself right now, and both of you have my sympathy.

You're a great friend to go to the other side of the world for her.

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

30. thanks jeff

:hug:

[lightningandsnow]

27. That sounds really, really difficult.

I'm so sorry.

You are an amazing friend. :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. ..

:hi:

[Deep13]

34. I am so sorry to hear that.

That is just horrible. It's so unfair. :cry: :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

38. It is. I never thought I would feel guilt over good health but I do.

[Crystal Clarity]

40. I am so sorry.

This can't be easy.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

44. yeah, it isnt

[Haole Girl]

41. Hugs...

[La Lioness Priyanka]

45. thanks howleh

[Kali]

42. it is a hard job, helping a friend to die

(my trip to Mexico this month had a little of this same work, so I am acutely aware of what you are feeling) you are a good friend, keep that in mind - go with your heart

[La Lioness Priyanka]

43. i dont think i helped, i at best witnessed

[Joe Fields]

46. Seeing a friend, once in awhile is nothing compared to taking care

of your father, from the beginning, all through the stages of cancer, until the very end.

Unless you've experienced it, you have no idea.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

47. Did I say it did? What the fuck kind of response is this?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

48. That was a pretty insensitive thing to say.

Lioness traveled all the way to India to visit her dying friend, which IMO was a wonderful, kind thing to do, and it had to be painful to see, too. Is it the same as nursing a family member for months? No, but she never claimed it was. Give her some credit for her kindness and concern for her friend, and lay off the one-uppish my-experience-was-way-worse-than-yours routine.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

49. I offered her in feb that I would move to Bombay for a few months to help her ou

She didn't want me to go.

I am sure many other people have had many more painful things happen to them, but comparing pain IMO is usually silly

[Terra Alta]

50. sorry about your best friend

I'm sure your visit brightened her day. I know how hard it is watching someone you love in so much pain.. but you are a great friend and I'm sure she appreciates you very much. :hug: