Can we eliminate marriage proposals once and for all?

[Courtesy Flush]

They're a sexist and narcissistic relic of our past. The very idea that a man would award himself like some kind of lottery prize without discussing your future together first!

Even worse: Public proposals.

Worse still: Public proposals on the internet or TV.

People, please show a little maturity and plan your lives together like adults, and stop treating the decision like an impulse purchace!

[av8rdave]

1. Oh, yeah, public proposals...

Nothing like putting someone on the spot for the most important decisions of their life!

Fortunately, most people I know these days arrived at the marriage decision jointly.

[lost-in-nj]

2. Usually

by the time your asking her if she'll marry you the future has been talked about up to that point, so the next step would probably be marriage. I like the idea of a proposal.

why is it narcissistic???

and it's not an impulse purchase....

I will agree with you on one thing... if you are not sure she is going to say yes then don't do it publicly.



lost

[HopeHoops]

3. No. I proposed to my wife on her birthday right after she woke up...

...then I nailed her. :evilgrin:

We've been married 23 years and together 26 years so it seems it was a good move. But fuck the public stuff - especially (the worst), paying to have it on the big screen at a sporting event. :puke:

[jobycom]

4. A good friend of mine proposed on the big screen at a Braves game

but they had already talked about getting married, so it was just a romantic gesture.

My first proposal was more of a series of long conversations. My idea of romance has never been that whole gift/bribe thing. To me it's more about shared experiences as equals than about what old societal customs I can impress her with. I don't really plan to date someone who can't afford chocolate on her own if she wants it, and champagne makes me belch. Much better to find something we both like that we can share on our own on equal footing.

But to each his and her own. I can barely figure out my own life, I'm not going to tell anyone else what to do. :)

[stray cat]

5. No more asking just demanding?

[arbusto_baboso]

6. You assume that no discussion of future plans preceds the proposal.

Mrs. Arbusto and I had discussed marriage for months before I finally proposed to her.

I put it off until I was sure I'd get a "yes".

See, things can work both ways.

[littlewolf]

23. +1000

same here ....
then I took her out on Halloween to a nice restaurant
I was in a black tux with a red tie and cummerbund
she was in a cream colored dress with a red shawl ...
we had dinner .... and then as we waited for coffee
I got up and said I would be right back ... walked to
her side of the table and got on one knee gave her the ring and asked her
to marry me .... she said yes ...
we had dated for a year and half before this .... and discussed in depth
what we wanted in life and a partner and our belief systems ...
that was 18 years ago this Halloween...

[WinkyDink]

7. Do we get to eliminate commands and declarative sentences, too?

[jobycom]

30. No, but

we can ignore them if we want. :)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. men are not the only people who propose, though i certainly dont understand

how people can get married without discussing it first, so a proposal shouldnt be that big a surprise

[Courtesy Flush]

14. You can say that again! N/T

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. men are not the only people who propose, though i certainly dont understand

how people can get married without discussing it first, so a proposal shouldnt be that big a surprise

[Xithras]

10. I've only been present for a single public proposal, and it didn't go well for him.

She actually told him, "I'd never marry someone who would humiliate me like this". Ouch.

[Courtesy Flush]

15. +2

[Bunny]

11. Most people discuss marriage before the actual proposal. I can't imagine

that too many of them come from out of absolutely nowhere. But even if it's been talked to death, I still think an official proposal is charming. Not as a public spectacle, though - that's just hideous.

[bluedigger]

12. Somebody has to make the effort, don't they?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. I didn't get a proposal...

Of course, we had discussed it. Finally, one day I asked him "Are you ever going to propose?" He replied "Are you going to turn me down?" And I said, "Probably not."

Of course, I was smiling...

Not long after that, we looked into getting me a ring...and when it arrived, we were engaged.

That was 45+ years ago...

;)

[Zavulon]

16. How about eliminating marraige entirely?

I'm not being facetious, either. The government taxes you at a different rate and decides what you get to keep if you break up. If you're unlucky enough to be the one making more, you could be on the hook to support the other for years after you started throwing up at the sight of him or her.

Half of all marriages end in divorce, many are used for convenience only.

I submit that marriage is as outdated as the proposal is.

[Blue_Tires]

33. That discussion has been gaining steam in recent years...

you could be on to something...

[tanyev]

17. Worst of all: Big theatrical public proposals like on a billboard or the screen at a sports event.

Ick.

[UrbScotty]

28. :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmTLfRGiQHI&feature=related

[YellowRubberDuckie]

18. Oh, it's sweet...

Unless it is at a sporting event. Then it is just stupid. Someone proposed to a girl at Blizzcon, poorly, but it was cute and I nearly cried.
Duckie

[cherokeeprogressive]

19. I proposed in the middle of the dining room while on a Windjammer "Barefoot" Cruise

Most of the passengers were present, as the Captain came on the public address system and told them there was an event happening in the galley. I pulled her out from behind the dinner table, walked to the middle of the room, and got on one knee... there was total silence and all eyes were upon us.

By the end of the night, 6 bottles of champagne had been delivered to our stateroom.

We've often talked about how if we ever go on another cruise, we're going to do it all over again! Free champagne! Hell Yeah!

Oh by the way, we got two bottles from the hotel desk where we stayed in St. Thomas after the cruise, and two bottles from a Flight Attendant she told when we were on our way back to L.A. from Miami.

We love marriage proposals!

ps we had talked about getting married already and were in agreement that it was in our future no matter what.

[Courtesy Flush]

31. Now I'm jealous. I want to go on one of those cruises.

I've been sailing for a decade, but never on a big ship. Seems like a cool thing to do.

[dimbear]

20. It would be a lot fairer if we

went to sealed bids.

[Kali]

26. ...

:spray: :rofl:


:applause:

[Kaleva]

27. LOL!

[Chan790]

21. Nope.

Looking forward to it too much...someday. Not today though...or tomorrow. Define public...I'd never do it on the jumbotron or in a crowded restaurant but I don't see the fun if it's not somewhat unexpected and at least in front of a few people.

Also, I am a prize. I usually buttress these sorts of boasts with disclaimers about my massive ego...but really this one doesn't require it. I'm f*cking awesome.

[TZ]

32. Here's how I think you should do it

On a crowded bus. In rush hour. On a hot Washington July day. Poifect! :evilgrin:

[Chan790]

35. Would it surprise you you terribly to know that I've somewhat planned it?

And no, it won't be in DC in July on an S4 during rush hour on 16th st.

I'm thinking spring in Elizabeth Park in Hartford, the largest public rose garden in the country.


It times it perfectly six months later for my desired early fall New England wedding in a lovely non-secular wile clapboard church and a reception in the back yard of my parent's estate, just as the leaves are changing...hopefully it won't snow. :D


(This is not my parent's back lawn, it's the CT River valley...the back lawn has valley views of the Farmington Valley though and at 2 acres is large enough to accommodate a large reception.)

[Kaleva]

22. I proposed three months after my wife and I got married.

Before we got married, I was going to officially propose to her at a scenic spot near town we liked but she didn't want to go out that day. So, it got put on the back burner until after things got settled down after the wedding. Then one day, i asked my wife to go on a four wheeler ride and when we stopped at our spot, I got down on my knee and proposed. She started crying and said "Yes!".

[ThomCat]

25. That is a beautiful way to do it.

:applause:

[applegrove]

24. I'll never forget my soon to be brother in law up early one moment waiting for my dad to leave for

work. My dad took him out for lunch and my b-in-law asked for my sister's hand in marriage (he had previously discussed it with my sister of course). My dad said yes of course. That weekend I was skating (very badly) on the rideau canal and I kept running into people who had seen my dad skating down the rideau canal yelling out to people he recognized that my sister was engaged as he sped the 5 miles down the ice.

[whistler162]

29. Which partner should club the other and drag them off

to the civil or religious mating ceremony?

What would Miss Post say?

[xchrom]

34. so marriage proposals are universally a surprise to the other party?

i did not know that.

[enough already 2]

36. Just once...

I wish the woman would say no to the drunken slob proposing to her at the baseball game.