The Dog Food Diet

[LiberalEsto]

My brother emailed me this yesterday and I nearly fell off my chair. He didn't write it, but it's too good not to share.

The Dog Food Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in
Line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.......duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was
starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally
buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way
It works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the
food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me,
and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls when a
car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

[HopeHoops]

1. What kind of people did you EXPECT to encounter in a WalMart?

And what the fuck were you doing in there? Intelligent people don't enter that place unless they really need to pee and it is the only available option.

[LiberalEsto]

2. Ahem. I didn't write that

but I'll have to remember to try it the next time I buy dog food, only being female I'll have to "lick" some other body part.

And I boycott WalMart; have for years.

[HopeHoops]

3. Oh, sorry. And dogs all lick their private parts - and don't even consider them private.

[Crystal Clarity]

4. LOL! Very cute!

My SO in particular got a big kick out of that story! Something about a dog's ability to do ahem, such-things seems to inspire a certain extra dimension to an already funny story for most men, I think.

:hide:




:rofl: Hey, it's just an observation! :shrug:

[NV Whino]

5. !

:rofl: