Dancing Dan's Christmas - a very funny Christmas story from 1938

[pokerfan]

Dancing Dan's Christmas

by

Damon Runyon



NOW one time it comes on Christmas, and in fact it is the evening before Christmas, and I am in Good Time Charley Bernstein's little speakeasy in West Forty-seventh Street, wishing Charley a Merry Christmas and having a few hot Tom and Jerrys with him.

This hot Tom and Jerry is an old time drink that is once used by one and all in this country to celebrate Christmas with, and in fact it is once so popular that many people think Christmas is invented only to furnish an excuse for hot Tom and Jerry, although of course this is by no means true.

But anybody will tell you that there is nothing that brings out the true holiday spirit like hot Tom and Jerry, and I hear that since Tom and Jerry goes out of style in the United States, the holiday spirit is never quite the same.

The reason hot Tom and Jerry goes out of style is because it is necessary to use rum and one thing and another in making Tom and Jerry, and naturally when rum becomes illegal in this country Tom and Jerry is also against the law, because rum is something that is very hard to get around town these days.

For a while some people try making Tom and Jerry without putting rum in it, but somehow it never has the same old holiday spirit, so nearly everybody finally gives up in disgust, and this is not surprising, as making Tom and Jerry is by no means child's play. In fact, it takes quite an expert to make good Tom and Jerry, and in the days when it is not illegal a good hot Tom and Jerry maker commands good wages and many friends.

Now of course Good Time Charley and I are not using rum in the Tom and Jerry we are making, as we do not wish to do anything illegal. What we are using is rye whisky that Good Time Charley gets on a doctor's prescription from a drug store, as we are personally drinking this hot Tom and Jerry and naturally we are not foolish enough to use any of Good Time Charley's own rye in it.

http://www.informalmusic.com/Runyon/dancingdan.html">Read the rest

[struggle4progress]

1. "I commence to wonder if I am in the proper company when I am with Dancing Dan, even if he is Santa

Claus"

:rofl:

[pokerfan]

2. Santa Claus gets a little peevish...

and calls them a few names, and one of the parents comes up and wishes to know what is the idea of Santa Claus using such language, and Santa Claus takes a punch at the parent, all of which is no doubt astonishing to the little kids who have an idea of Santa Claus as a very kindly old guy.

I'm a little embarrased to admit that I had to look up 'excelsior' (as referring to the contents of the bag): fine curled wood shavings used especially for packing fragile items.

Would that be fra-gee-lay? Must be Italian. :rofl:

[struggle4progress]

3. ... Wood wool, made of thinly shredded wood, was once the most popular teddy bear stuffing. It was

sold under the brand name Excelsior and is still sometimes called excelsior today ...
http://www.suite101.com/content/guide-to-teddy-bear-stuffing-materials-a146256