Well, this Christmas is off to a fan-fucking-tastic start.

[JTG of the PRB]

People shouting at each other, crying, doors being slammed... Gonna be a while before we get to presents and breakfast.

Merry fucking Christmas. x(

[lunatica]

1. Has the drinking started yet?

That's what always got me when I used to do Christmas. It's the reason I stopped and haven't done Christmas for 15 years. Enough was enough.

[rug]

2. Grab the deviled eggs before they start flying.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear JTG of the PRB...

Oh, sweetie...

I hope your day straightens out and gets better...

:hug:

[JTG of the PRB]

6. Thanks Peggy.

:hug:

Things calmed down significantly, just took a while to do so. We're all being very civil towards one another right now.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. Sometimes being alone on Christmas is totally OK.

There can be some nasty family eruptions on holidays.

[Crystal Clarity]

5. Hey I hear ya

My SO and I had an epic blowout this morning because I didn't feel like going to his sister's.

I realize, i kind of don't have an excuse this year, but imho I have a pretty good reason to be bitter about this request from YEARS ago... And beside that, who wants to go anywhere at 8am Christmas morning?

My SO and I have been together since my daughter was 4. Since my ex-husband has never been much more then a bio-dad to her, My SO became more of a 'real' dad, especially since he's never had any kids of his own. Anyway, from our first Christmas together on, he'd expect me to get my/our daughter up, all bleary eyed, at the crack of dawn (like 6am) to go to his sister's house so we could watch HER kids open their gifts and Christmas stockings. I refused to do it, so he'd go alone and return usually AFTER lunchtime.

Hey, why should my (then very young) daughter have to wait for her Christmas to begin, in order to watch some other kids (of no blood relation) enjoy their's? Especially the whole F'n morning? I didn't then and don't now think that that was an unreasonable approach to take on behalf of my/our child.

I mean seriously, if this were a more traditional family situation, as in my SO being her real bio father from day one, would it be a normal expectation to go to someone else's house as opposed to staying home and watching our OWN kid enjoy the whole Santa thing? Really, who does that, and why should anyone expect them to???

I understand the idea of Christmas parties w/extended family members, but in MY extended family, we have it before or after THE morning. At least where young children are involved. If grandparents want to show up to watch their grandchildren enjoy Santa's gifts first thing in the morning, that is one thing... but why make some young child watch other children, when they should be joyously doing the same thing themselves in THEIR OWN HOME!!!

In my SO's defense, he's usually a very rational person, but seems to have a blind spot where his sister is concerned. He STILL thinks I was wrong about this, even now! WTF?

I've always been good about joining in on his other family functions, but I drew the line on this one a long time ago and don't regret it. Obviously as she grew older, it shouldn't have been as big of a deal, but hey, I still wanted to be home w/her to enjoy at the very least most of the day as a family, even if it kind of made me feel as if I was still a single mother w/out my SO.

My now 25 yr old daughter is not even here this Christmas. She's (ironically) out west in Tucson w/her bio-dad for her first Christmas w/him since the age of 2. Funny how he's suddenly interested in spending time w/her now :eyes:... Actually NOT knowing him (but that's a whole other story)

At any rate, I didn't feel like going to my SO's sister's house this year (although I usually do now that daughter is grown). My SO got mad, I brought up the past, and now, here we are again spending the day w/out each other.

Merry F'n Christmas is right. :grr:

:rant: ... sorry... :blush:

[NightWatcher]

7. Check back in after the cops get called out.

I have one of those fun filled family things tonight but I can't drink because I have to get up for work at 4am

[Lindsey]

8. Total bummer. I'm sorry to hear all of that is going on. Maybe

just spend this time doing whatever it is you want to do for yourself. I hope the day turns out alright.:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. I'm so sorry. :^(

[WiffenPoof]

10. Wow...

So sorry to hear that.

I'm thinking of you.

-PLA

[Dark]

11. That happened last year on Christmas eve with my family.

This year I'm far away, and when we skyped everything seemed ok

[mopinko]

12. yeah, i gave up on all that shit.

we don't see anybody on xmas, and this year i am starting to have kids off elsewhere. so i only have 3 people to deal with this whole weekend.
aaahhhhhhhhhhh. bliss.

eta- my knowing holiday best wishes for those of you trapped somewhere you don't want to be today.

[SOteric]

13. Dang!

That is an early start. I hope it gets better for you. :hug:

[revolution breeze]

14. That was last night.

Eggbert was already asleep when we came home from the French Quarter celebrating daughter's birthday. His mom had kept him awake until 8 pm (Eggie is 5) and of course we ruined his entire Christmas by not letting him open hig gifts on Christmas Eve. Which meant he woke up at 5 am with my daughters, so sister and law and her husband had to get up and I did not have Maxwell House coffee....I told her this was the plan and if she wanted something different, stay home. Daughter only turns 21 once!

[Honeycombe8]

15. Start doing what YOU want to do for holidays. That was MY solution.

All families are dysfunctional at times. Mine was no exception (although not as bad as what you describe).

When I got older and had been living out of state for a number of years, I decided one year that I would start doing what I want to do for holidays, usually, while still trying to see family and do my duty at occasional times. (I really DO want to see my family; it's just not always for every Christmas or Thanksgiving.)

My holiday life got a LOT better! No more hectic plane rides, rushing here and there, spending tons of $$$, etc., unless I CHOOSE to do that. I may CHOOSE to do that some years. Other years, I CHOOSE to spend holidays alone (I have friends, so I COULD spend holidays with others, if I wanted). I now LOVE my holidays! I do whatever I want, cook whatever I want, play with my pets, shop on the internet, do home projects, watch old movies, go shopping before and after Christmas, buy myself the Christmas presents I never got but wanted (keeping finances in mind), whatever. I chill and regroup, and I'm ready to go back to work after the holidays, rested.

Funny thing is...my family seems to appreciate their time with me more, now that it's limited. I didn't plan it that way. They will complain sometimes that I don't go back often enough. But I've never gone back a whole lot; they just notice it more, now.

Things sometimes get better with the passing of the years. And there's nothing wrong with YOU doing what YOU want to do, to be happy. Try to stay out of and away from the mental mess that's going on there, to the extent you can. Lead by example. Be pleasant, uncritical, polite (but not a total nerd)...and just do your own thing. Go to a movie. There are some great ones out.

[JTG of the PRB]

16. Thank you all for the kind words today. Things turned out fine.

The day just didn't start off right, and it looked like it could be one of those situations that lasted for hours. It wound up only lasting for an hour and then everything came together and we were alright again. I try not to be a part of these things anymore, but it's hard not to get sucked in sometimes. :crazy:

Again, thank you all for the kind words, and Merry Christmas! :hi:

[IntravenousDemilo]

17. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the casino I sang carols at today was packed. n/m