why does your subconscious bring people back in dreams?

[grasswire]

This morning the man I have loved for 25 years was in my dream. It wasn't a gushy romantic dream -- he was trying to open a boxing ring in my tiny apartment and it was general chaos kind of like a Marx Brothers movie. But all day I have been awash in memory and regret and loss. I haven't seen him for eighteen years.

Just thought that maybe someone knows a lot about dreams and knows why our mind puts us through this kind of exercise.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

1. My purely amateur guess.......

is that you experienced something that your subconscious associated with the person you knew, and then raised it in your dream. I've had quite a few of those dreams over the years and it leaves me melancholy as well. Kind of a weird phenomenon.

[nuxvomica]

2. I always consider the idea that everyone in your dreams

is an aspect of your own personality. Somebody with whom you had a close relationship remains to some degree in your own psyche. I can still hear my dad's voice in my head under certain circumstances, especially when there's a financial decision to be made, even though he passed away four years ago. We never lose anyone completely.

[raccoon]

11. I agree, even if it's a celeb you never have met. Or historical person.

"I always consider the idea that everyone in your dreams
is an aspect of your own personality. "

One dream I had about my deceased mother, one of my sibs said she represented my inner parent. In this dream, I think she did.

I think dreams can tell us a lot, and most Americans tend to pretty much ignore their dreams.

[Duer 157099]

3. That happens to me all the time

I consider it my way of staying in touch with them, on a spiritual level, even if they have died.

It affects my whole day after a dream like that, and it does happen frequently.

[GReedDiamond]

4. On "the Night before Chrtistmas"...

...just last week, I had a dream which included my Uncle Mac, as he was known.

The thing is, his birthday was December 25, and he just kinda walked into my dream, as if to say, "hey, it's me, Mac, and it's my birthday!"

He died in 1985, and, by then, I had not seen him in nine years. He was in his 80s.

[EnviroBat]

10. That is really bizarre.

I had an "uncle Mac" too. He was like a father to me, and he passed away that same year.

[MorningGlow]

5. Unfinished business

A boxing ring? Conflict. Marx Brothers-type chaos? More conflict. Sounds like you still need closure, Grasswire. Any way to achieve that? If you can't speak to him directly in any way, I understand that writing a letter saying everything you need to and not mailing it (and perhaps destroying it) works wonders. Hope you get the peace you desire. :hug:

[grasswire]

7. unfinished business that will never be finished, prolly

I am fully capable of being in touch with him and have been now and then, except that his "fiancee of 16 years" intercepts emails and letters and has even answered them in his name. I moved three thousand miles away eighteen years ago.

But his mother recently died. If I thought he would actually get the letter, I would send one of condolence.

[david13]

6. This never happens to me, unless I want it to, or need it to. In your

case I think the boxing is significant. You want or need someone to fight with, you miss your fights with him. Or maybe something has lately reminded you of the fighting, and that you didn't like it.
You can't ask us to interpret your dream. The significance of dream interpretation is your interpretation of the dream. What did it mean to you?
dc

[grasswire]

8. thanks for the insight

I'll think about the significance of the boxing ring. He and I never had a fight, and just one misunderstanding. We were best friends for a very long time.

[snagglepuss]

9. Sometimes it good to consider other associations, beside the obvious,

for instance boxing has several meanings. Boxing Day comes to mind, traditionally it was the day food was given out to the needy. There is also associations to sales (Boxing Day Sales) and the mad rush to get a great deal, perhaps getting something that one has put off till the price was right.

Boxing also suggests containment as in packing stuff away in boxes. A tiny apartment also suggests containment.

The juxtaposition of containment and chaos is interesting, as well as the juxtaposition of a boxing ring and a tiny apartment.

Ring has a number of connotations. It could suggest being trapped in a vicious circle, a piece of jewelry, a bell, a phone call, an area are set aside for a fight.

Marx might refer to comic actors from the golden age of film but it also might be related to score keeping or being judged/rated.

[zanana1]

12. I'd like to know why only nasty people I've known show up in my dreams. nt

I've been married for 31 years, but a guy who broke my heart in college keeps showing up in my dreams! I'd love to dream about a departed friend or relative, or about someone I was very close to who was sweet and kindhearted, but it never happens. Why do I allow these scuzzy people to follow me around in my dreams?

[GreenPartyVoter]

13. Not sure. My parents have shown up, as well as my late kitty. Weirdly for me

some part of me always remembers that they are gone even during the dream, so I don't wake up thinking they are still here or something. I guess that's good, because it would suck to suddenly remember they weren't.