Small talk - a rant

[Lucian]

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person here who hates small talk. I find it terribly annoying talking to someone for ten minutes about nothing. I swear I hear about the weather 50 times a day from people and it annoys me to no end. Yes, I know it's cold and snowing outside. Anyone who has a pulse in the area knows this. Also, I hate standing there pretending I'm interested in your dog's bowel habits in the house or the itch in your special place. I don't care. Just let me go about my business.

What also annoys me about small talk is how it can lead to something more. Don't talk to me for fifteen minutes about nothing and then getting to what you want to say or ask. Just come right out and say what you want to say or ask what you want to ask. Gah. :banghead:

:rant:

[Parche]

1. as george carlin would say

"have a nice day"

dont tell me what kind of day i am going to have
:hi:

[Lucian]

15. ...

:rofl:

:thumbsup:

[Parche]

18. i miss george carlin

he was one of the funniest out there.....:hi:

[Joe Fields]

41. and all the while, George would be thinking...

SHUT THE FUCK UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Miss ya, George

[TK421]

2. I agree, and people just say they want to be "polite"...well, don't fucking talk

about nothing and find something meaningful to say!!

[Lucian]

16. Amen!

[LanternWaste]

52. Much like this entire thread...

"well, don't fucking talk about nothing and find something meaningful to say!"

Much like this entire thread: OP and each individual response... including mine (but then again, I'd feel petulant were I compelled to moan, whine and complain about something this incredibly petty).

[Bunny]

3. So, how've you been Lucian?

Some weather we're having, isn't it? I've just been outside cleaning up my dog's poop, and boy is it cold! How was your holiday? Mine was great, well except for that hemorrhoid - talk about itch! That was awful!

[Lucian]

8. Oh I'm good.

Except for that bloody nose I had yesterday. I was picking it and all of a sudden it started gushing everywhere. It was all over my hands, then on the floor, and finally, after I made it into the bathroom, I washed it all off. There's stains on my socks now. Wanna see?
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I kid you not, that's what someone told me one day when I was working, and I didn't even know that person! :wtf:

[Bunny]

10. HAHAHAHA!

That is really disgusting - it's amazing what comes out of people's mouths, isn't it?

[MrMickeysMom]

40. OOoooooh... Oohh, I hate it when THAT happens!

:rofl:







:hi: .... "Hi!"

[MiddleFingerMom]

4. Might I respectfully remind you of something here?

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THE DECAF IS IN THE ORANGE POT!!!!!
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:rofl:
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[Lucian]

9. Caffeine is what's making this Monday tolerable.

:)

[elleng]

5. Hate it and don't do it; hence don't attend gatherings w/o people I know + like.

[Lucian]

11. It's not only with people you know and like.

It happens all the time with strangers. Some even go into detail about their lives when I don't even care to know! (For an example of this, see my reply to Bunny. May be a little graphic.)

[Gidney N Cloyd]

6. Personally, I just wish I were better at small talk.

I often find it a little tedious myself but I appreciate the social value.

[Chan790]

44. I can rec' a book to address that.

The Art of Conversation: A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure by Catherine Blythe. Amazon

It's one of the 5 or 10 books that I think changed my life from being painfully-shy after sobriety. I wasn't mental (I really thought I was.) I had a skills-gap for something I'd never learned: How to be a great conversationalist.

Now I get complements on my skills and asked to teach them. I'm not attractive and I'm a bit of a jackass but I've got 4 out of 5 strangers suckered into thinking I'm witty and charming.

[LynneSin]

7. I hate small talk especially from strangers

Like waiting in the line at the grocery store and the register clerk wants to comments on each of my purchases.

I'm just not a small talk chatter.

[Lucian]

12. That's why self checkouts are better.

Aside from customers who are too stupid to use them.

[siligut]

22. What the hell?

Register clerks commenting on my purchases, gods that is irritating. So you have a look into my life, what I buy, be polite and have some grace please. Sometimes the baggers do it, mostly young men who want to envision home-cooking I think. That is OK, but really, this is one reason I like using the self check machines, even if they are deliberately annoying/rigid.

[LynneSin]

23. I use self checkout as much as possible but not every place has it

The one time I was in Walmart was to buy some special grouting that I couldn't find anywhere else. The one I used has no self checkout so I had to stand there and listen to the girl go on and on asking questions about the grout, how does it work, will it fix the job and the entire history of her shower leaking. Honestly, I just wanted to pay and and clearly my absolute silence and icy evil stare did little to deter her from yapping. I mean she's looking at the fricking ingredients and instructions making a ton of small talk about it. Finally I had to tell her "Can you please ring up my sales without the small talk, thank you". Then the girl got pissy on me about being so rude so I did say something to her manager. If a customer is not speaking to you it's a good sign you should just ring up their order and keep the talk to an absolute minimum.

[siligut]

25. Wow, really it would seem she had no sense

Then to get pissy because you want to do what you came for and get out of there, just wow.

[pacalo]

37. There was a store I used to go to that had THE BEST junkfood & I went there

just for my snacks; I bought my other grocery needs at another store. That certainly provoked a lot of comments from the cashier. Hubby used to say, "Damn! It looks like a kid went to buy the groceries!" :rofl:

[alphafemale]

48. Best reponse to that. "Do you think this is enough toilet paper for all this food?" nt

[AmyDeLune]

49. As a cashier, I know what you mean...

A little observation is all it takes to see if one's customer wants to chat or not. I rarely make personal comments on my customer's purchases unless the combination of items sparks my twisted sense of humour; such as (true examples) "So you're buying bird seed and cat litter...?" or "So you're buying cake mix and a hack saw...?"

...but yeah, my job is to get your stuff rung out and bagged as quickly and efficiently as possible with as much or as little social interaction as it takes to leave you with a pleasant experience.

[tigereye]

13. some folks find it a social lubricant, but they should

get to the point before too long.

[Lucian]

14. I can understand that.

I know some use it as an ice breaker, but I just like to avoid it completely.

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. Then you want to watch the first couple minutes of this ST:TNG episode

:rofl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2SSmllvuRw

It's TOTALLY about smalltalk. And then after Picard leaves, zip up to 4:33 for some perfect Data-delivered smalltalk.

And then the first 40 seconds or so of this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pAnwdLhpnY&NR=1

"How long can two people talk about nothing?"

[Lucian]

19. Rabrrrrrr, you just made my day.

I found both of those clips hilarious, yet really annoying.

:rofl:

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. Call me Hutch!

lol

I'm glad I brightened your day! I love those scenes.

[MrMickeysMom]

38. I didn't even have to go there.. I knew the episode...

Data's finer moment when he started coming of age with more human like experimentation.

Love it

[Lucian]

42. I'm still laughing from this.

I saw two people doing the same thing Data and Hutch were doing in that clip today while I was walking down the hallway. It made me fascinated and annoyed at the same time.

:rofl:

[Kali]

20. weather

I observed something kind of interesting about weather small talk the other day. I was in the grocery store and two workers were arranging produce. One is the wife of a neighboring rancher, the other is a "townie". We were chatting about the holidays and the recent cold snap, expected rain etc. The neighbor and myself knew EXACTLY what the current weather forecast from NOAA was, the temperature in town and at our altitude up in the foothills. Precip to the 100ths etc. Town lady was sort of left in the dust by our intense weatherphileness (I just made that word up)

I guess for those of us that really exist at the whims of it, weather is WAY more than just small talk.:rofl:

[kentauros]

24. I'm never annoyed by it and don't have a problem with it.

By the way, how's the weather in Lucianland? You know it got into the high 70's here last Friday? I thought it was summer again! Reminded me of a Christmas long passed when we were all in shortsleeves and the sidewalks were sweating.

[LucySky]

26. We live in a society.

Members of a society talk to each other.

No big deal to me one way or another.

[TK421]

27. Members of a society usually talk to each other about something, though

I believe that was the whole point of this OP

[LucySky]

29. Strangers do not.

Strangers make small talk because that is all there is to talk about with someone you do not know. Without small talk, people would never meet each other, and friendships would never develop. Also, if someone does not like small talk, there is no rule that says they have to partake in it.

[Lucian]

34. I met my last girlfriend during a heated argument about religion and politics.

There was no small talk involved.

[nolabear]

28. LOL! I am SO not of this frame of mind!

Mind you, I have many a deep and introspective conversation, but we Southern folk are taught from very early that it's rude not to talk to people, and the interest is, for the most part, quite real. We like to be clever and funny, we like to get all up in one another's business, and I have laughed out loud many a pleasant time over a conversation in the checkout line about how Oprah sure has regained that weight and where did yo find that brand of beans my auntie used to say canned beans were for lazy people but I served these to her one time and she loved them and where did your auntie come from and I had people down that way and oh my, is it my turn already well you have a nice afternoon and don't let that lovely hairdo get caught in the rain...

We all come away having passed a fun few minutes and, if we all do it right, we feel a little better about ourselves.

I wrote a short story loosely based on a true incident in which I shared a two-pack Home Pregnancy Test with a young couple in the checkout line who didn't have enough cash to buy both that and a pack of cigarettes. I mean realy, how rich does it get?

[Lucian]

32. I'm going to make a mental note of using all self checkouts in the south.

I hate it when people get in my business, especially people I don't know.

And if I want to feel better about myself, I'll eat a banana instead of a 3 Musketeers bar.

[nolabear]

36. Bananas don't come from the North, you know. But you don't have to adhere to local custom.

We'll say "Well bless his heart" and go on.

[kentauros]

43. "bless his/her heart" also negates any and all previously uttered

character assassinations :P


Really now, isn't this all just a case of "Lighten up, Francis!" ? Being annoyed by innocuous small talk when there's far more to make one annoyed. Like overhearing conservative talking points while you're waiting in line, and so forth. Get annoyed at that, but not the cashier or whomever just trying to be friendly. Lighten up, Lucian!

[nolabear]

46. Yep, it substitutes for a plathora of other possible comments.

And it's just smug enough to tickle me.

[femmocrat]

30. I'm just not very good at it.

There are usually long gaps in the flow of the conversation. I can't think of anything to say!

This happened to me today when someone sat down next to me at a teacher inservice. Uh.... Mmmm.... uh huh.... oh yeah.....

We finally ended up talking about remodeling bathrooms! LOL

[Lucian]

33. I can do it.

I just hate doing it. It makes me feel phony and it's uninteresting.

[rbnyc]

31. I'm bad at small talk.

When I was growing up, I used to always make the mistake of giving a considered and detailed answer to "How are you?" instead of just saying, "Fine. How are you?" It took me so long to figure out that when people ask this, they don't actually want to know.

[Lucian]

35. They really don't want to know and don't care to know.

It's one of those social niceties that serves no function.

[Chan790]

45. Think that's confusing.

I went to prep school where etiquette was expected. Did you know that if you're at dinner and someone who is not holding the salt shaker asks you "Would you like some salt?" what they're really saying is "Pass me the salt, please?"

(Asking the second one directly resulted in being "involuntary excused" from dinner.)

[rbnyc]

47. That's CRAZY!

I never heard such a thing.

[MrMickeysMom]

39. Mmm Kay, here's another one...

And, this could be a Carlin routine, too.

It's when you pass someone in the hallway and say, "hi". I generally do, but then don't feel the need to again, but NOT EVERYBODY...


Each time, it's "hi"... then, a giggle and "hi" again. I've actually been temped to answer, "no, I'm not!"

[Forkboy]

50. I hate that, especially the strangers who sidle up to you to start it.

I take a lot of public transportation, and there's always someone who wants to tell me about their dog or their rheumatism, or God forbid, both. I'm not a social guy to start with, so a couple of times I've just made it clear to them before they finish their first sentence that I'm not in the mood for idle chit chat. Fuck 'em, I don't want to hear it. :)

Needless to say, I can relate to your rant! :toast:

[kimi]

51. Depends on my mood if I appreciate small talk or not

oh, and if the other small-talker has a sense of humor. My personal belief is that most folks can tell by facial expression or body language whether or not small talk will be encouraged or not. Eye contact is crucial, if someone doesn't look you in the eye for a second or two, don't start yakking at 'em, they won't want to respond, and I wouldn't chat to someone who doesn't want to talk as well.