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This morning, I had a physical therapy appointment in Redlands, CA. Not the greatest place in the world, but not the worst either.
After my appointment I stopped to have my truck washed at what is my favorite car-wash within 100 miles of my house. It's such a good car-wash that I tip $20 for a $19.99 wash simply because they do such a good job, and if I tipped less for that kind of work, I'd drive away feeling guilty. It's on the corner of Lugonia and Alabama in Redlands. If you ever need your car washed, go there. Be prepared to wait though, because I guess I'm not the only person who knows what good work they do.
So there I am, climbing into my truck ready to drive away, when my belly goes mmmmmmoooooooppp and I have this stomach cramp that tells me it would be a bad idea to try to drive all the way up the mountain without using the bathroom first. I park in front of the Circle K that is part of the car-wash, walk/run inside, and wouldn't you know it; this guy who is 85 if he's a day makes it to the bathroom at the same time. Graciously, I bow, point him to the door, and tell him I'll wait. He goes inside and locks the door.
Two minutes pass. Five minutes. Now he's been in there so long that I'm eyeing the Women's bathroom door not five feet away from where I stand, but it's the Women's bathroom, after all. It's vacant. By this time, there are three guys standing behind me, and one is definitely dancing. Too bad for him; I know that when I DO get into the bathroom, it's not going to be a short visit.
A cute Hispanic girl walks by, and asks if the Women's bathroom is occupied. I tell her it isn't. When she finishes and exits, she tells me I should use it. I tell her it's okay, I'll wait. She laughs, and asks "You're afraid of going into a Women's bathroom?" I say no, but I'm not in a hurry (clenching as I say this) and hear nervous giggles behind me. She laughs and leaves.
Then it happens... From inside the bathroom I hear Help... HELP! Scares the shit out of me so I step up to the door and yell "Are you OK?" and in return I hear I can't see!So I yell "Are you sick?" and he says "NO, I can't see!" I look toward the checkout counter in the Circle K and wouldn't you know it, there's no one there. I ask him if he can unlock the door and he says "If I could unlock the FUCKING door, I'd be okay!" I ask him why he can't see and he says "It's DARK! Someone turned the lights off!"
So after a few more minutes of clenching and yelling through the door, I finally guide him to the lock. He pulls the door open and is standing there with his pants around his knees. He asks me if I turned the lights off. I look inside the door where the light switch should be and find one of those motion sensor type switches. I press the button, and turn the light on. He's still standing there with his pants around his knees and I tell him it's a motion sensor, and he accidentally turned it off. He says "No, I pressed that button when I came in and nothing happened until the lights went OFF".
I swear I thought the fucker was dying when he yelled...
When I came out of the bathroom, the guys who were waiting in line behind me were gone, but for one. I asked him what happened to the other guys, and he pointed to the Women's bathroom door.
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