Nine ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity...

[Joe Fields]

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing motorists to see if they slow down.

2. On all your check stubs, write "for marijuana."

3. Skip down the street, rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

4. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, and do it with a serious face.

5. Sing along at the opera.

6. When at an ATM, and the money comes out, scream "I WON! I WON!"

7. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot and yell "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

8. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

9. (men) Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting rooms are.

[sarge43]

1. Re 9

Also works for women and tampons.

Stand in a crowd, look up at the sky. When everyone else is looking up and they do, say, "Ya know, turkeys that do this during a rain storm will drown?"