Even after almost 6 months, the break-up is still going badly...

[EnviroBat]

Some of you may know that about 6 months ago I was in a relationship that ended very badly. It wasn't my choice, but a woman that I loved with all of my heart ran out of my life one Friday afternoon. She sought refuge at her ex-husbands place. A decision that she now clearly regrets. Just before the holidays she contacted me and told me how much she still loves me, and she is living with the biggest mistake of her life every-day. She also told me that she was diagnosed with uterine cancer, and that was the reason she left me. She didn't want to be a burden to me, and she didn't want me to see her as "sick". Well, I have moved on and am enjoying a great relationship with a wonderful lady who really seems to love me like crazy. Although I'm in a different place now, I still find myself thinking about the ex-girlfriend, and wondering sometimes what the hell happened. I ran across her Facebook picture today from an application request she sent me over a year ago:



What am I supposed to be reading from this?

Thanks you all for letting me vent. It was such a bad time in my life that I was close to suicide. Something changed in me after all of this happened, and I don't like it still...

[gratuitous]

1. A nickel's worth of free advice, and worth every penny

Forget about her.

[EnviroBat]

2. I wish I could lobotomize her from my mind permanetely...

She isn't worth thinking about anymore...

[seabeyond]

3. dont look back. she leaves you and uses X??? what is that. live your life

and enjoy what you have. dont look back. the oe you are with now deserves more.

[cbdo2007]

4. I was engaged before....

to a great woman, and we even lived together for a short time. One day, I just realized that I didn't want to be with her for the rest of my life, so I broke up with her. We were best friends and were still in love, it wasn't about that, just that at the time I thought I didn't want to be with her for the rest of my life.

Now i'm happily married to someone else, and I think about the ex sometimes. I see her on facebook and she's beautiful, and she's moved on and is married now with a couple of kids. We have a small amount of chit-chat, but I know anything more would be inappropriate, so I've turned down coffee with her and stuff. I'm just a different place in my life now.

It may be hard, but it's definitely best for you to cut off as much contact with her as you can stand. When you're going through one of those times, it's the bad times that come to mind, but looking back on it it's always the good times that come to mind, and you don't remember how miserable it was.

Did i make the right decision in the long run??? Yes because I love my life now. Could I have been happy with her if we had gone through with the marriage and stuff? Yeah, probably and there are many, many good qualities about her that I miss and think about often. It just wasn't meant to be and I have to deal with that. You should do the same. It's hard, but especially if you're in a great relationship now, just sever all those old ties.

Good luck

[dawg]

5. It just hurts ... I know ....

you, me, & Brad Pitt.

Three guys who fell in love with less-than-completely-sane women. You and I are battered and bruised.

Brad's day is coming.

[Bucky]

6. It takes time. Let it take time. Develop new interests while you wait to get over it.

When your brain insists on thinking about her, don't shut it off mentally. That's like corking a coke bottle after you've shook it up. Instead, just say "Thank you, brain, for that reminder. I'm going to go do something else for a while now" and let your attention gradually shift in another direction.

If you start seeing someone else, do not... repeat, do NOT... talk with her about your ex.

[siligut]

7. You are human and caring

We make connections for different reasons. Are you a rescuer? Is you concern that she needs you? While it can be nice to be needed, maybe investing your effort into this new relationship will pay off for you too.

[IcyPeas]

8. also sounds like she needs some alone time herself

running from one relationship to another and back to the other....

she could use some time on her own and figure out what she wants.