Suicide is never the answer

[kalli007]

Just learned that one of my best friends for over a decade attempted suicide today after being broken up with yesterday. This is even more devastating to me because another one of my best friends - from 5th grade to age 20 did commit suicide a few years after we lost touch.

I know it can get tough sometimes- I have been there where I wanted to just die, but it can devastate the people who love you.

[AmyDeLune]

1. Speaking from personal experience...

I am truly sorry for your loss.

Personally speaking; for me, I wanted to die because I felt so bad I would have done anything to make that feeling go away.

My older sister (by 19 years) distanced herself from the family and eventually did commit suicide. I saw the effect it had on my parents, even though she had had no contact with us for 8 years, they were devastated, my father in particular. I was to learn years after his death that my father suffered from manic depression, kept in check by lithium.

I was able to keep myself alive by knowing from my sister's unfortunate example that no one would be happier or better off without me, quite the opposite, I would inflict the horrible feelings I was suffering on others. I couldn't do that, so I hung on until my brain chemistry eventually corrected itself and I felt normal again.

I know it doesn't help much, but try to remember that those who commit suicide really, genuinely believe that everyone will be better off without them. They aren't trying to be hurtful or selfish or mean. They just want the hurt to stop.

[kalli007]

2. Oh I know...they are definitely

not trying to be selfish in any way. I too know the feeling of just wanting the emotional pain to STOP. I went through a devastating break-up this year, and for the first time I realized "Hey, so THIS is what makes someone consider suicide" knowing that I could make the heartbreak stop. I just wish there was some way to make the hurting person see that it will get better....

[Forkboy]

3. No easy answers.

I think of suicide all the time. My father once told me I was being selfish, but isn't it also selfish to expect someone to live a life they hate just so someone's feelings don't get hurt?

I don't ever encourage anyone to commit suicide, and I never will. I truly hope that anyone feeling that way will look into other answers. But I understand the urge all too well. I'm drawn to the idea like a moth to flame. It's not about trying to hurt anyone, it's about ending the pain. Nothing more or less, at least for me.