I wanna whine about... well,,,, ME

[La Lioness Priyanka]

i am an idiot...i really am an idiot...not politically and academically but personally I am one of the biggest idiots i know

[GOPisEvil]

1. That's not a very nice thing to say to yourself.

Although, I've said to myself many times.

We also seem to be hardest on ourselves.

[Zomby Woof]

2. but in your case

It's true. :evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

4. My fragile ego!

:cry:

:P

[Zomby Woof]

7. fucking Cards fan!

:P

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. it may not be nice but its true

[ohiosmith]

3. I told to buy that dress.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. good point

[DBoon]

5. So you went ahead

and got the cobra anyway?

You naughty girl!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. no i did not

and thats part of the problem

[Screaming Lord Byron]

6. Yeah, but aren't you hot?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. what does that have to do with anything?

and no i am FAT

[Screaming Lord Byron]

12. Well, Hot Idiots are scientifically proven to do better than standard ones

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. really, how?

hot idiots in my opinion make bigger messes is their personal life

[Screaming Lord Byron]

15. Oh, they may fuck up more, but they look good doing it.

And there's always the having more sex part.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. good point

yes but the more sex is not necessarily good for the idiot...atleast that chapter is over in my life

[democratreformed]

14. My dad is the biggest idiot I know.

I wanna whine too - about him. Since my mom died, he has already been duped by one gold-digged B*#**. Now, he's on his second one and he ALWAYS lets it interfere with his relationship with his children and grandchildren. Before he got rid of the last one, my son barely even knew who he was. Now, he's at it again. Down on my daughter b/c his new thing's 14-yr old lied and said my daughter said something bad about her mom. I am so sick of him believing the absolute worst about his own flesh and blood just b/c it has to do with the new p***** he's getting.

I am absolutely furious. I want to disown him. He is a jerk. And an extreme pushover.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. that fucking suck!

i should know..i have step parents (who are lovely)..but i could see why taking the step parents side against a child feels like utter betrayal..

i am stupid but differently from your father

[democratreformed]

20. Oh, she's not even a step-parent yet

Just a g'friend - an one's who's still married to someone else! Such an idiot - he is.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. that sucks more

all my sympathies and i empathize with you.

[democratreformed]

22. Thank You

for listening.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

24. you are welcome

maybe you should go for family counselling with him? the other thing is to recognize that you are an adult and your dads affairs though they sadden you should not really pull you down (thats what i keep saying to myself about my mother and her issues)

[democratreformed]

27. Thanks for your advice. Read my post below.

I know that my dad's affairs are not mine and, believe me, I much prefer to stay out of them. Unfortunately, he is the one that insists that some day we will all be one big happy family again. And he uses all kinds of crappy maneuvers (blame, guilt, etc.) to try to force everyone to his will.

[Raven]

23. Did you have a good relationship with him before your mom died?

If you did, maybe this behavior is his way of dealing with grief and loss. Perhaps you could suggest that he get some counselling.

[democratreformed]

25. It's all so funny - not a good funny, either

Yes, I was very close to my dad - we were best friends. We also work together - he's the boss!! My mom died almost five years ago. Somehow, I got myself under the gun with his first woman b/c I absolutely despised her. He took advantage of the fact that I was his captive every single day at work to threaten, guilt, and use every other tactic to try to convince me that it was my daughterly duty to love his new woman and kiss her ass. It was very close to hell for months. Eventually, I left work (along with a few other coping measures I adopted). Trust me, we went to counseling (near the very beginning of that one). We walked in and he said "You all have GOT to fix her b/c SHE'S GOTTA WORK!!" They got married one week before the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. Then, she made him miserable for about a year. Then, they lived apart for about a year. Then he got a divorce and gave her a bunch of money.

This one seemed very different at first. She was nice and friendly and down to earth. Then, we all went out to eat together and it was a total disaster. She was stumbling drunk. My husband drove - we took our truck. They (my dad and g-friend) got into an argument on the way home. She poured a beer over his head. She told him she was going to knock his teeth out with the beer bottle. She slung tequila all over the truck. Thank God we have good plastic floor mats. The ride home was about an hour long. I thought I would lose my mind before we got home. Once, she told my husband to slow down so she could listen to a song. I said "Hell no! You get us home so they can get out of our truck!" She screamed at my dad all the way home every time he touched her or tried to talk to her. The next day, HE came to apologize. That made me furious and I told him to NOT come to me to apologize for HER behavior. He said it was all his fault b/c he had acted jealous. That made me even madder that he blamed HER behavior on himself. The fact is that she was a drunk raving lunatic. I have NEVER in my 38 years of life witnessed that kind of behavior. NEVER.

So, now I am in the hot seat again. It is absolutely vital (to hear him tell it) to my dad that we adore his woman (and her spoiled daughter too I guess). Now we have this petty crap going on. For example, she wouldn't come to my brother's daughter's b/day party b/c HER name wasn't on the invitation. I said I guess I should just go home too b/c our invitation only had my son's name on it. Because she wouldn't come, of course, my dad wouldn't either. When it came time for my son's b/day, I told him we were having fish and cake. He said "Will you do me a favor and call **** and aske her and **** to come?" I said "Asking you to bring them is not good enough?" He, of course, said "No, it's not." Being the loud mouth outspoken person I am, I told him that I didn't see whay I had to kiss her ass. After all, no one kisses my ass. That, of course, made him mad and he said "Fine, don't call her" and refused to give me the number. Of course, I got it an called and kissed her ass anyway. So, that time, they actually came.

THEN, Monday, my daughter and I end up being grilled for 20 minutes on what our problem is with *****. THEN AGAIN, yesterday, I end up being grilled for and hour. I don't understand. I did what he wanted and kissed her ass and called her and asked her and her spoiled rotten brat daughter to come to my house. He says they weren't comfortable. I asked what I did wrong. It seemed pretty normal to me. We all talked and seemed to get along. That's when he says *someone* told him that my daughter supposedly said something derogatory about ****** in relation to MY BROTHER. I told him that he had to understand that I did not believe that my daughter said that. He said let it go - "Don't stir the pot." But, the fact is that I AM FURIOUS. Why does he always assume the worst and WHY does he insist that we kiss their ass? I told him I will not go through these daily grilling every single day AGAIN (I went back to work for him last year). I WILL NOT DO IT!!!

It is such a complicated mess. I am here mostly for my brother. He genuinely needs me here to do the work that I do. But, I can honestly say that my mental health cannot survive another round of the crap that I went through before. My brother says come to him and he will take care of it. That makes me feel weak and like I am passing the crap on to him.

For the life of me, I cannot understand how I am back in this position AGAIN. I simply do not know what I did wrong. I do not know why my children deserve for their grandfather to think poorly of them. And, yesterday, I thought that I would be better able to cope this time and that I would just harden my heart and not let it bother me. So far, it's just not working very well.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

28. sounds like your father has one of two issues

a. he missses your mother and desperately needs companionship...any companionship to not feel her loss..basic denial and avoidance

b. he really misssed being single and is try to make up for lost time (though it doesnt really sound like it)

i wish you the best..your situations is very difficult. i am sorry.

[democratreformed]

32. I think this is the basic problem with him

He blames himself for my mother's death. She was having some trouble for about a year. He convinced her that it was just anxiety attacks. Not until she was dead in the ambulance on the way to the hospital did he finally admit that it was probably her heart. Now, he blames himself. He thinks that if he can find the right woman, everything will be back just like it was before she died. Seriously, he says that all the time.

Before she died, we were a fairy tale family. My mom and dad seldom did anything alone. One of us kids and our family was always doing things with them. Even just riding around on the "back 40", we were often along. My mom used to drive and everyone else rode in the back. My dad would sit on the tailgate and my son would "ride" on his feet dangling from the back of the truck. We would be going very slowly just riding and looking at the fields and such on our way to feed the deer and the fish.

Then, crash, boom, it all fell apart.

Thanks for listening yet again and for your empathy.

[democratreformed]

35. Hey and guess what else?

I suppose I can join your list of idiots for putting myself back in this position by going back to work here. LOL.

[SarahB]

17. No, Sweetie

That would be my job.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

19. no no i insist its mine

[m-jean03]

26. Please do tell --

Why are you an idiot?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

30. cos i feel guilty if i do anything for myself

another du'er pointed this out...and you know what...its really true!

[m-jean03]

34. You sound pretty normal

I think a lot of people feel this way.

[arcane1]

29. join the club kid

my brain is often much smarter than I am, but I don't trust it that much :silly:


:toast: to it, for without it life would be predictable and dull

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. arcane i dont wanna be an idiot

i wanna be smart!

[arcane1]

33. you would be amazed at the amount of genius it takes...

to be acutely aware of your own idiocy :)

one of the biggest leaps in scientific thinking came early in the last century, when people started to become aware of how complex the universe really is, and how much we really do not know.

that said, not really sure why you feel that way, did you do something you aren't feeling happy about now?
:shrug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

36. yes a du'er pointed out to me

that i need to be more selfish...and i think hes right..i was thinking yesterday that I Never do something just for myself...which is why i can never really relax..cos i got my whole familys issues and my gf's running through my head...

[arcane1]

37. man I know people just like that..

and I am too, to a large extent. I'll bend over backwards for people, yet feel guilty if they have to do something minor for me... makes no sense...

some of us are just too nice for our own good :D

[La Lioness Priyanka]

38. i dont think its niceness i think its as much of a flaw as

selfishness..just in the opposite direction

[arcane1]

43. ah yes, reminds me of a friend of mine...

and you are getting the right advice- do something for YOU, and enjoy it even if it kills you :silly:

[democratreformed]

40. And here I come along and add my crap

Sorry about that.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

41. no i think you are in a similar position as i am

you are tryin to keep your brother happy and your daughter happy and your father happy while you are miserable...its nice to have company
:hug:

[democratreformed]

42. Yep, that would be me

:hi: Thanks for the hug. Here's one for you too.
:hug:

[bloodyjack]

39. life is complex.