Life begins at ejaculation!

[elperromagico]

BAN MASTURBATION NOW! Remember, "Every Sperm Is Sacred"!

Happy April Fool's Day. :hi:

[daveskilt]

1. so many 14 year olds guilty of genocide

[sniffa]

um right.. 14 yo.

[daveskilt]

11. ok all men of any age then

[H2O Man]

19. I hope the president

makes a constipational ammendment against autosexual relationships. Of course, he's a dick dripping in his own right.

[sniffa]

2. i'm a mass murderer

severaL times over. sean hannity wouLd be aLL over me for the mass graves i've fiLLed.

[trumad]

7. Too bad hannity didn't get washed down the drain.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

3. Can I finish this session I'm in the middle of?

Or do I have to stop immediately??

[Cursive_Knives512]

4. lol

[terrya]

5. I don't EVEN want to go there.

MANY thoughts are going through my mind on that one...and I'd hate to have to alert myself for posting a sex thread.

:-)

Terry

[GOPisEvil]

6. You should have included the words to "Every Sperm Is Sacred"

so we can all sing along.

[elperromagico]

12. Done.

:hi:

[FunBobbyMucha]

8. Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great

when a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

BAN THE HAND!

[LuLu550]

9. actually, that is the basis of a lot of the religious beliefs about

birth control...that some guy in the old testament (Onan) didn't want to marry his brother's widow and have a child in his brother's name as required by GOD. So he went onto the roof and masturbated so he wouldn't get his brother's widow pregnant and was struck down by GOD. Therefore, all sexual acts must be open to procreation or you will be struck down by GOD.

[daveskilt]

13. hence the german word for masturbation - onanie

and god smote him for practicing the rythym method - " he withdrew himself and spilt his seed upon the dust"

[Jim Sagle]

10. Talk to the hand.

[Dead_Parrot]

14. LOL... n/t

[BlueEyedSon]

15. So, I guess my life began at 13.

:)

[Lizz612]

16. Hmmm....

Does this mean that we women can still 'date ourselves'? :shrug:

[elperromagico]

18. I guess - as long as you don't murder an egg in the process.

[Lizz612]

21. Murder an egg...

Well dating oneself doesn't do that, but it does happen every month. Oh no! Thats umm... *calculating*... 72 dead. I guess women are less violent! }(

[elperromagico]

22. Perhaps George the Enlightened One should ban menstruation.

Let's see him enforce that one.

[Lizz612]

23. He has a biblical precedent

All that stuff in the OT about how long after her period a woman is 'unclean.' But George knows better, its not just uncleanliness, its MURDER! BAN MENSTRUATION!

[Dead_Parrot]

17. The monkey killed 3,000,000 chirdren this morning...

... by way of punishment, I shall spank the monkey...
...again...
...:D
edit: good job there isn't a :w4nk3r: smilie...

[cryofan]

20. Wrong! Life begins at the third beer/mixed drink/wine cooler

And if you say otherwise, we will burn you at the stake, heretic!

[skypilot]

24. If life begins at ejaculation...

...then my bedroom is very crowded.

[elperromagico]

25. LOL - mine too, mine too.

From one criminal to another, I salute you.

[Insider]

26. "film at eleven"

ROFL i love this place

[MissMarple]

27. Reckless abandonment.

Yup, that sounds about right. Courtesy of Reece Witherspoon in "Legally Blond". :D

[fob]

28. How many dependents do I claim on my 1040 then?

Do I have to get SS #'s for each sperm?

[damnraddem]

29. Listen here, squirt -- this rubs me the wrong way.

April fool back atcha!

[Nikia]

30. But all the rest die anyway

In a ejaculation, there are millions of sperm. Even ejaculations that result in conception and then birth, kill millions of sperm. Mas sperm death is naturual.

[elperromagico]

32. Typical lib'rul excuse!!!

:P

[GOPBasher]

31. I'm the biggest mass murderer in the history of the planet!!!

Damn!!! Now I'm scared!

[camero]

33. Sure why not?

Just don't blame me when the dang thing turns into a fire hose, k?
:D

[Kathy in Cambridge]

34. That's usually my argument with pro-life men

if life begins at conception, you're guilty of murder!!!

[ironflange]

35. Or as Shrub would say,

"ejacumalation"

[flaminbats]

36. Do you mean I was terrified when my life began?

:scared: and was later wondering why I felt sooo guilty!